New restaurants serve opposites
"V
Zapata lacks flare,
service and decor
By JJ. Harder_
Senior editor
Apparently, the new Mexican restaurant Zapata derives its appellation from a family name.
But if my Spanish 201 knowledge serves me correctly, it should mean “female shoe.” Fitting,
because this place is about as worthless to me as a female shoe.
Zapata took the place of Bongo, Lincoln’s then-only Colombian restaurant, which wasn’t half
bad. So while the region of the cuisine moved north, the restaurant itself went south.
Zapata should have a lot going for it: a location in the thriving Haymarket district and danc
ing on weekends. Let me stress the “should” in that last sen
El Chaparro offers
authentic cuisine
v
By J.J. Harder
Senior editor
El Chaparro doesn’t have a lot going for it - it’s in the worst part of town, the
ambiance is non-existent and the food is only adequate.
But I still like it.
The new Mexican restaurant is located in the building previously occupied by El
Charro - don’t get confused, they’re completely different restaurants.
El Chaparro is basically a small square dining room with white walls and basic
booths. The eatery gains its charm
ICUCC.
My Zapata experience started not just on the wrong
foot, but on a foot that was obviously lodged up som
one’s posterior when aesthetic decisions were made
I was overtaken by the innumerable pinatas tha
were strung throughout the restaurant. If they hat
been authentic, I wouldn’t have minded, but thesi
were the $9.95 kind that were probably bought at
last year’s K-Mart Cinco De Mayo clearance sale.
And I’m pretty sure the sombrero-to-person
ratio was disproportionate in violation of state
and federal hat laws.
And even if the decor could have been cham
pioned by a better interior designer, I still would
have been overloaded by its stupidity.
There were three different programs tuned in on
the televisions: one featured figure skating, anotht
women’s basketball and the third was on the Lifetim
channel. I don’t know what the manager was thin!
ing, but no establishment open on Friday nigh
should have “Not Without My Daughter” on the bij
screen.
Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse,
the Mariachi band came out. Their harmonies were
stellar, their finger-picking extraordinary, but thei
outfits killed me. Metallic sequins don’t belong on
any item of clothing - prom dress, garter belt or
especially Mariachi shirt. I felt like I was at a
disco ball manufacturers’ convention.
To add to the atmosphere of women’s televi
sion, pinata overload and disco Mariachi wei
servers that were trying a little too hard to appe
attractive.
One waitress sported a dangerously snort skirt, m
another only buttoned one shirt button and the oth- ^
ers followed suit, showing as much skin in as many
different areas as possible. One word: gross. ' - V
All this was before I was even waited on, so '
when the waitress arrived, I was looking for some ■
positive comments. ■
Unfortunately, I was unable to find any. The appe
tizer was slow to arrive, the napkins were delivered ■
only after asking for
O + O them three times
W |W1Q and the silverware
didn’t come until
WHAT: Mexican ™.eal was
WHERE: 815 0! The food itself 1
PRICES: $8 - 20 would classify
FIVF WORnQ- p Zapata as the worst
PiVt WUnUo. *^of Lincoln, with
out help from the service and atmosphere. The que
sadillas were greasier than the pit in a Jiffy Lube.
Rice, one of the staples of the cuisine, was dry, bit- ’
ter and generally not tasteful. The beans were so
watery they consumed the rest of my plate.
And a note to the owners of Zapata: I could tell the
tortillas were frozen. I know you and the Schwann’s
man were trying to pull a fast one on me, but I caught
you with your hand in the truck.
To top the whole night off, it took the waitress a solid
25 minutes to get the check after the eating was done.
Then, after handing me the Discover Card folder, she r *
told me they didn’t even take Discover. Perfect. 3
Then I got the ‘Are you gonna stay around for !■
some salsa dancing?” Seriously. 39
The fajitas were large, and the menu was inter- JH
esting (cow brains, tongue, intestines and octo
pus), but these pluses weren’t enough to get even
a neutral rating. This place was horrible. I would
rather eat a half-eaten TV dinner at home than ever 1
go back.
Now that I think about it, a female shoe would do me
a lot more good than another trip to Zapata.
tnrougn solid service. v
The chips in salsa are on the
table before you have a chance to
ask for them. And they aren’t like
Taco Bell nachos - these are
authentic tortilla chips served
with a liquid, non-chunky sauce. „
Your order will probably be
(there just about as quickly.
Be ready to either speak
some Spanish to order or use the
numbers given to each menu
item (a tell-tale sign a language
barrier is in effect).
I wouldn’t try to special
order - it’s unlikely that you’ll
get rice substituted for beans (it
didn’t work for me). But that,
too, is part of the personality of
the place.
El Chaparro offers more
than 20 entrees, including five
different egg dishes that are
house favorites. The enchiladas
were good but very small. The
| chicken inside was somewhat
dry, but all the other ingredi
ents were fresh.
The tamales were also
...
I El Chaparro
WHAT: Mexican food
WHERE: 900 S. 13th,
(13th & F)
PRICES: $5-10 per meal
FIVE WORDS: Adequate
food, quirky and remote.
small but very bland. In gener
al, the portions were small, but
the prices are relatively inex
pensive.
This place is cool because
ef its little quirks, such as
ordering in Spanish.
For example, the soft tacos
are open-faced mini-tortillas
that are, for lack of a better
word, cute. And enjoy the real
Mexican music on the radio
(i.e., not Ricky Martin or
Enrique Iglesias).
Try a Jarritos, a brand of
fruity soft drink popular in
Mexico and available at El
Chaparro. The personality of
El Chaparro goes a long way.
This definitely isn’t the
best Mexican in town. In fact, I
wouldn’t even put it in the top
three. But if you want to go
somewhere that’s quirky and
out of the way, El Chaparro is
your place.
P- . .
Delan Lonowksi/DN