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About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (April 7, 2000)
Opinion Quotes of the WEEK “Hie represents the integrity, the commitment to values that I think we want to have at this university.” Chancellor James Moeser, on the attributes of new Basketball Coach Barry Collier. “Anybody but Danny Nee is a pretty big step up for ' Nebraska.” Junior communications major Adam Holle on the move to select Collier as coach. “I don’t care if we play fast or slow. We’re going to play in such a way that gives us the best chance to win.” Collier on the style of play that the Husker men s bas ketball team will adopt next season. “I’m not seeking to leave this university.” Chancellor James Moeser, on his status in Nebraska. Moeser will make a trip this month to interview for the presidency at the University of Florida. “We’re going to stand with him through thick and thin.” Gov. Mike Johanns, on his son s hospitalization fol lowing his drinking alcohol and taking more than his pre scribed amount of Ritalin “Usually trash is dirty, but sometimes it comes out white.” Columnist David Baker, from an old family motto. “The governor stabbed me with the red pen.” Sen. La Von Crosby, after Johanns vetoed a legislative bill she introduced appropriating nearly $1 million to the Sheldon Memorial Art Gallery. “I do not favor any kind of discrimination, but we are in danger, as a culture, of blurring lines that have been clearly defined.” Congressional candidate Tom Osborne on his opposi tion to same-sex unions. “Some people in this race are going into a four-cor ners offense and stalling. That doesn’t prepare the Republican nominee for November.” Secretary of [State Scott Moore, a candidate for Nebraska s Senate seat, at a forum with other senatorial candidates in Kearney. “This senate did a lot of things that would be con sidered risky, especially since Nebraska is a pretty con servative state.” Arts and Sciences Senator Urrvano Gamez, on the pastASUN administration. “There’s so much stuff going on up there.” Amateur astronomer Victor Humlicek. -p Editorial Board Josh Funk (editor) • J.J. Harder • Cliff Hicks • Samuel McKewon • Dane Stickney • Kimberly Sweet • Lindsay Young Letter Policy The Daily Nebraskan welcomes brief letters to the editor and guest columns, but does not guarantee their publication. The Daily Nebraskan retains the right to edit or reject any sub missions. Submitted material becomes property of the Daily Nebraskan and cannot be returned. Anonymous material will not be published. Those who submit letters must identify themselves by name, year in school, major and/or group affiliation, if any. Submit material to: Daily Nebraskan, 20 Nebraska Union, 1400 R St., Lincoln, Neb. 68588-0448 or e-mail to: letters@unl.edu Editorial Policy Unsigned editorials are the opinions of the spring 2000 Daily Nebraskan. They do not necessarily reflect the views of the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, its employees, its student body or the University of Nebraska Board of Regents. A col umn is solely the opinion of its author. The Board of Regents acts as publisher of the Daily Nebraskan; policy is set by the Daily Nebraskan Editorial Board. The UNL Publications Board, established by the regents, supervises the publication of the paper. According to policy set by the regents, responsi bility for the editorial content of the newspaper lies solely in the hands of its student employees. The Daily Nebraskan strives to print fair and accurate coverage; any corrections or clarifications will be printed on page three. Obermeyer’s VIEW I AM GLAD THAT UNL HAS A NEW MEN’S BASKETBALL CoAcH, AND I FEEL IT Is A WELCOME CHANGE, AUD I mwr, \N GOTO CONSCIENCE, MAKE FUN OF HIM. So INSTEAD, J WIU- W)Kg FJ/N OF cows. /yaiP.seHDeR\ I was cotmouep \ \ BBFoRa BlU-rU , ) J^?yscfeA/7S7S^ --V (AT LEAST THe^\ IS SAFE SPACE ' ( For m KM # ) \lNTHE UbJIoNly Florida: The good life? The Sunshine State has a variety of attactions Reminisce with us for a moment, if you will. You’re 12 years old, you’ve just been on vacation with your family and you’re 45 minutes into the thirteen hour long car ride home. As your dad sets the cruise for 10 mph under the speed limit, you can only think of one thing: The Nebraska state line. Visions of wild flowers and shod dily mowed ditches dance through your impressionable little head. A line of shredded candy-bar wrappers and beer cans lead to the beautiful, gleam ing marker that you’ve been waiting so eagerly to see. Standing about 8 feet tall and 3'A feet wide, with a few .22 caliber bullet holes riddled across it, the faded monument reads, “Nebraska: The Good Life.” Fast-forward seven or eight years. You sit in your room, attempting to prepare for multiple tests, as you are continually distracted by the bitterly cold air that seeps through your win dow panes. We too have been there. We’ve lost our cars in October to unexpected snow. But we now see the light. We know of a warmer place, a better place. We think that life would be a lot better, for everyone, in Florida. Like us, most of you probably haven’t spent much time in Florida. During the innumerous crippling Nebraska blizzards that have been wrought upon you, you may have spent a minute or two daydreaming about the sunny beaches of Key West or the unnecessary, yet enjoyable, complimentary electric blankets pro vided at every Motel 6 in Florida. Beyond what you’ve seen on Disney World commercials, you may very well know nothing about this glorious state. That, my fickle friends, is about to change. Something recently grabbed a Chris Gustafson is a sophomore agricultural economics major and Lucas Stock is a freshman EngUsh major. They are Daily Nebraskan columnists hold of us both and has refused to let go. We like to call that little something the Florida Bug. We’re not sure why it was so attracted to us, and, as far as we can tell, it has yet to strike the majority of this campus. That’s why we’re here - to get you infected. During our recent exposure, we decided to conduct minutes upon min utes of painstaking research on “The Sunshine State.” We discovered a fine land where the oranges grow as large as silicone-implanted breasts. Prepare to be informed. Our first area of research was the Florida music scene. If you were to talk to Jahja Ling, musical director of the Florida Orchestra, he would be more than happy to tell you about the exciting schedule it has this fall, which includes Rhapsodies in Motion and Happy 100th Birthday for Aaron Copland. If you are the president of a Florida college, such as the University of Florida-Gainesville, you get in free of chaige. You also get a free drink at the bar during intermission, guaran teed. The Floridians are a very progres sive and innovative people. In fact, Florida is the first state to have Organ Bars, open to anyone who wishes to walk in and play the organ. They also have old, black men who massage your feet after you get done playing one of those “foot-organ songs.” You don’t even have to tip them. (But don’t worry, Floridians love diversity and pay them $ 100 an hour.) After a long day of playing the organ, many people retire to one of Florida’s many restadtants for a tasty meal. Our personal favorite was the Orlando Ale House (not affiliated with Orlando). The great food and excellent service really typified the supremacy of the state. Before we paid homage to this establishment, we were unaware that the O. A.H.’s Zingers (lobster stuffed with tacos) were ’N Sync’s favorite food. And it was obvious why they are. In a state such as Nebraska, it is difficult to find fresh and entertaining activities to partake in after eating. When the night is still young, there’s nothing worse than knowing that your only options are watching “Snow Day” at the Star Ship 9 movie theater or going home and plucking your uni brow. You’ll never have these restric tions in Florida. One highly recommended option would be to head down to the Florida Clogging Council and whip out $ 15 for membership. Benefits include a discount at the State Clogging Convention and other clogging events and supplemental health insurance in case of injury while attending a clog ging function. Now, we realize that clogging isn’t for everyone. Morbidly obese and uncoordinated individuals just can’t pull it off. In these cases, we couldn’t find anything better to do than to make a stop at some of Gainesville’s flam boyant museums. The Florida Museum of Natural History is located on the campus of the University of Florida. According to the museum’s Web site, it is dedicat ed to understanding and preserving biological diversity and cultural her itage. Several other worthy museums include the Ham Museum of Art and the Kanapaha Botanical Gardens. At the start of our research we had a hunch that Florida was pretty dang diverse. But, just to be sure, we dug deeper. Check out the South Florida Fun travel guide. It includes calendar events, hotels, bars, dining and more. But the kicker Heterosexuals need not apply; it’s for gay people only. We like to think that Florida is all about freedom. I mean, just look at all of the free Cubans who wash up on its shores every day. Considering that you don t actual ly have the opportunity to raft into Florida, we would recommend expressing your freedom by taking off all of your clothes. The Florida Association for Nude Recreation Inc., is the number one organization of clubs that promote the concept of social nudism. We’re sure by now that you are all extremely interested in finding out more about Florida. We hope too that we’ve convinced at least one person to break his or her affiliations with the University of Nebraska and move there. As for us, we’re not quite ready to pack our bags and make the trek to freedom. For die time being, we have written a little song. It goes a little something like this: “Florida, Florida, we pledge you our true loyalty. Florida, Florida, the good lifefor you andfor me” (