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About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (April 1, 2000)
' Courtesy Photo FORMER NEBRASKA Basketball Coach Danny Nee yells “land ho” while sailing with his family last summer. Nee was recently found dead while sailing around South America. NU Athletic Director Bill Byrne said, “Even though I fired him, I’m going to miss the cocksucker.” Former coach’s body languished in ocean for five, maybe six days From staff reports r Danny Nee has died. Nee, the often embittered former coach of the Nebraska men’s basketball team, went kaput Wednesday night, reports revealed, while trying to sail around die Southernmost coast of Chile, an area otherwise known as Tierra Del Fuego. Remnants of his cold, lifeless body were found near parts unknown, Chile. Tierra Del Fuego is widely considered one of the stormiest parts of the world, and is more or less uninhabited, except by small pockets of people who had never seen a slickster like Nee before. “His body was in the ocean, for, oh, five, six days,” said nomad Igrfacio Esperanza, through the use of an inter preter. “A giant storm blew through here and ripped the bowels from his torso on the third day. We figured it looked pretty bad.” Law enforcement officers have called the death an unfortunate causality of nature. “This is a tragedy of sorts,” International Police spokesman Dan Carter said. “The man was only looking for a job.” Nee had agreed to interview in Ric Grande, Argentina, at the Rio Grande V-/ School of Lost Souls, which is described in its brochure as “a gathering place for the truly meek.” No persons knew exact ly what Nee was interviewing for. “I think they had an American History spot open,” Carter said. Nee disappeared sometime after leaving Phil’s Irish pub in Santiago, Chile, and commandeering a sailboat, announcing to the bar’s patrons: “This cocksucker is going to get a job,” bar tender Phil Loma said. Several patrons, though they had no idea what Nee was talking about, confirmed the use of the word “cocksucker.” But Nee never made his scheduled interview. Instead, the man who had no previous sailing experience got disori ented and directed the boat into one of the many alcoves that make up Tierra Del Fuego. At that point, Carter said, Nee was dead, he just didn’t know it. Or maybe he did. Loma said Nee mentioned to him over brews that the coach had a “date with death” and was going to “tangle with the Tierra.” “I sorta laughed,” Loma said. “Bui he gave me this awful grin, like he meanl what he said. After that, I didn’t question him. He had a yellow slicker on. Yellow slickers scare me.” Nee could have died in various fash ions, Carter said, but was given the ^ I’ll never forget how he used to tell me to go blow myself’ Cary Cochran NU guard bloody dismemberment, one of the bet ter fates he could have suffered, consid ering the circumstances. “He was a goner,” Carter said. “Think ‘The Blair Witch Project.’ He can just thank the sweet Lord he was tossed overboard and skewered by the sea before he got rickets or scurvy. Because a guy like that, he just isn’t worth search ing for in that tangle of islands.” Across the University of Nebrska Lincoln campus, people remembered Nee’s honesty and candor in personal dealings. “I’ll never forget how he used to tell me to go blow myself,” guard Cary Cochran said. “There was affection in those moments.” Guard Cookie Belcher wasn’t sur prised by Nee’s choice to brave danger ous waters. “He always told us we were fine men and what good players we would be,” Belcher said. “But his life, his love and his lady was the sea. Do do do do do do do.” In Chile, the mood wasn’t so light. It’s daredevil stunts like this, Esperanza said, that give Chile a bad name, which it doesn’t need right now. “Jesus,” Esperanza said. “First Pinochet. Now this.” Snyder sells first set of new * diamond collection Kansas State Football Coach Bill Snyder’s foray into the world of jewel ry proved successful this week, as lie sold his initial 'line of Snyder’s Diamonds, a project in the works since Snyder stuck a few lumps of coal up his ass a few years ago. “They’re bigger than we thought they’d be,” fan Ellis Burnham said. “I’m getting mine cut into a Powercat” KSU fans also got a chance to see ► the diamond maker on display for a . . v - -SPORTS BRIEFS few hours, as Snyder dropped shorts and spread his cheeks wide. Many fans attempted to kiss his ass, but K State Sports Information fended them off, keeping Snyder all for themselves. “It’s clean, I promise,” Snyder said. “I haven’t had tacos in two days ” r Solich: Roberts tremendous’ in new movie Actress Julia Roberts got raves from Nebraska Football Coach Frank Solich on Thursday, when he finally got a chance to see Roberts’ newest release “Erin Brockovich.” “Julia was tremendous, certainly,” Solich said. “There were some things she needed to get done, and she got them done. So we like what’s getting done there. “It’s a situation where there’s an opportunity to see things progress maybe a little bit quicker, but all in all, we’re happy with where Julia is.” Athletic director subject of new book NU Athletic Director Bill Byrne is the subject of a new book, “Evil God,” a compilation from various sources, published by Random House. Byrne is accused of, among other things, trying to mastermind a coup of Herbie Husker with a water hose and rubber duck. New Orleans running back proclaims he’s a rhino at heart - Heisman Trophy winner and cur rent New Orleans Saints running back Ricky Williams held a press confer ence announcing his sex change from man to rhinoceros. “I want to be a rhino now,” Williams said. “I want a horn on my noise.” The enigmatic, former Texas star came to the conclusion in his new hometown of Austin, Texas, where he realized he wasn’t the old Ricky Williams after all. “I never was Ricky Williams in the first place,” Williams said. “Because Ricky Williams was meant to be a rhino.” UT Coach Mack Brown supported Williams’ decision. “I’ll still love Ricky Williams, even on four legs,” Brown said. Compiled by staff writer Whitney Pollard.