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Tuesday, January 25,2000
^ Page 4 I
Editor: J.J. Harder
(402)472-1768
The new
history
Lectures give students chance
to learn outside of class
UNL students have a unique opportunity today.
As part of the E.N. Thompson lecture series, Archbishop
Desmond Tutu will visit Nebraska to talk about the struggle
for justice in South Africa.
Securing an appearance by the man who helped lead the
movement against apartheid in South Africa isn’t too shabby
for the University of Nebraska-Lincoln.
Students, faculty and staff can gain some insight from the
man who became the first black Anglican Dean in
Bringing
world
renowned
speakers to
campus is
part of
raising the
academic
bar.
Johannesburg in 1974 during
apartheid.
It’s probably even worth missing
class to hear from a man who is con
sidered a moral authority around the
world and won a Nobel Peace Prize in
1984.
It’s nice to get a speaker with such
influence and experience here at UNL
- a place where sports events often
dominate the number of intellectual
events.
UNL seems to be making a con
stant effort to raise the bar academical
ly by emphasizing research and creat
ing a more rigorous academic environ
ment.
Bringing world-renowned speakers to campus is part of
raising the academic bar. It encourages students to be inspired
and challenged intellectually.
It helps them become aware of current events and apply the
knowledge they are learning to a constantly changing world.
Thanks to the E.N. Thompson lectures, students have
many opportunities to hear from people who have played cru
cial roles in history.
On Feb. 8, Former Secretary of Defense Robert
McNamara will be on campus. Serving under Presidents John
F. Kennedy and Lyndon B. Johnson, McNamara will share his
views about the lessons learned from the Vietnam War.
Another speaker in February isn’t coming to town for a
Thompson lecture, but is worth seeing anyway. Rubin
“Hurricane” Carter will speak on campus. Carter spent years
in prison on a wrongful conviction. His story is the basis for
the movie, “The Hurricane.”
We hope UNL continues to attract compelling speakers.
We’re thankful that support for the E.N. Thompson Forum
on World Lectures exists, giving all of us who live in Nebraska
a chance to think about issues that affect us outside our state
borders.
Editorial Board
Josh Funk (editor) • J.J. Harder • Cliff Hicks • Samuel
McKewon • Dane Stickney • Kimberly Sweet • Lindsay
Young
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ters@unl.edu
Editorial Policy
Unsigned editorials are the opinions of the spring 2000
Daily Nebraskan. They do not necessarily reflect the views
of the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, its employees, its
student body or the University of Nebraska Board of
Regents. A column is solely the opinion of its author. The
Board of Regents acts as publisher of the Daily Nebraskan;
policy is set by the Daily Nebraskan Editorial Board. The
UNL Publications Board, established by the regents, super
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The Daily Nebraskan strives to print fair and accurate cover
age; any corrections or clarifications will be printed on page
three.
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Presidential potential
Quotes of George W. Bush show ‘leadership ’qualities
Warning: You have entered a 100
percent cocaine-free zone.
Not really, that’s just a little joke
between me and my good friend,
George W. Bush. We all know that W.
(as I will refer to my main man) does
actually love the nose candy, (but
never on the Sabbath).
Since he is a presidential candi
date, he is often ambiguous and
vague in responding to questions con
cerning drug use or other “hard-hit
ting” topics.
It’s for his safety and yours, the
American people. W. and I are sure
you’ll understand.
I hope most of you realize that the
presidential election is coming up in a
few short months, so I have not wast
ed any time in picking my favorite
liar... uh, I mean respectable leader,
that can best meet the needs of this
great capitalist whorehouse ... uh, I
mean nation.
I have proudly and securely cho
sen to vote for the second greatest
man on earth - George W. Bush. And
the greatest man in the world? Well, I
do declare that it’s his father. You
know, George W. Bush sans the W.,
i.e. George Bush, but for clarification
we’ll just call him Papa Bush.
Some think W. is a loser like his
father, but I think Papa Bush was a
wise patriarch of our country who
loved being honest and forthright. He
wasn’t afraid to tell the people about
how he won the presidency, except
perhaps exactly who he slept with to
win.
Eschewing that little fact, he is
forward and honest. One of the wisest
things he imparted upon us all (and
that ostensibly won him votes) were
the words, “Let me give you a little
serious political inside advice. One
single word. Puppies. Worth the
I have proudly and securely chosen to
vote for the second greatest man on
earth - George W. Bush.
points.”
Note: I didn't make up that quote
or any quote you will read in the
future.
The love of puppies (shoes and
animals) was a definite sympathy
gainer for Papa Bush, but what are
W.’s means for tugging on the ol’
heartstrings?
Well, I have gone through several
of W.’s campaign speeches from the
past 10 months and compiled quotes
that I think will help push us into the
new millennium - with W. doin’ the
pushin.’
Austin, Texas - March 7,1999.
W. is a self-conscious dude who
wakes up every morning wondering
if his wife has cheated on him yet.
Basically, he’s a normal guy.
The people of the world can relate
to his apprehensive decision to run
for the presidency in the first place;
we can all agree it’s a “big job.” I urge
you all to consider his concerns for
his family when he stated, “Many of
you know I had doubts and concerns
about what a campaign would mean
for my family. Laura and the girls and
I have talked about this a great deal,
and they have concluded that if I run,
they will probably vote for me.”
I have four words for y’all: tears
in my eyes.
This statement is so endearing,
and not at all pathetic in content. I
just want W. to know that not only
does he probably have his wife and
children’s votes, but if I roll my ass
out of bed on ballot morning, he
probably has mine, too.
Cedar Rapids, Iowa - June 12,
1999. One issue that W. wants to
tackle like a madman is education.
He’ll start in the state he governed,
Texas, where there is no education.
He says he will “praise success - but
shine a spotlight of shame on failure.”
I can foresee his spotlights of fail
ure burning out mighty quick from
overuse (especially in Texas), but if it
gets those children to be successful
like W., then it must be done. Shame
the kids!
While speaking of his state, W.
even boasted heartily of his two
biggest tax cuts in Texas history,
announcing that, “If Texas were a
country, it would be the 11th largest
economy in-the world.” What a statis
tic! And all from the man who’s first
concern was to surround himself with
“smart, capable people.”
California - Sept. 2,1999. On
issues concerning educational stan
dards, we know where W. stands (not
in a classroom). But how about the
issue of penis size?
W. summed it all up quite nicely
by saying, “We must measure to
make sure standards are met. In
Texas, we measure.” Shame the citi
zens!
Des Moines, Iowa - Dec. 1,
1999. W. has not forgotten, in all the
hubbub, about old people. W.’s idea of
protecting Social Security benefits is
not a bad idea. And, as W. announced,
“I happen to know two senior citizens
very well.”
Just two? >
“One of them, at the age of 64,
was elected President of the United
States. At 75, he jumped out of an air
plane.”
Papa Bush! Don’t you see how
cool these cats are? Why, my grandfa
ther can hardly even pull out his den
tures and change his skivvies, let
alone jump out of a plane.
I hope you all make the right deci
sion in November. I know I will. Vote
W. and vote for the “compassionate
conservative” with the crazy idea
that, “Drugs will destroy you.
Alcohol will ruin your life. And hav
ing a baby out of wedlock is a sure
fire way to fall behind. We’ll love the
babies.”
And W., we’ll love yon.
I Karen Brown is a senior English andfilm studies major and a Daily Nebraskan columnist.
