At the limits of the absolutely small, new
universes appear, airless spaces at the molecular
level that scientists hope to occupy with tiny
machines1 and, apparently, electric guitars2.
I saw the electron microscopic3 picture of
this tiny-beyond-speaking guitar and was
reminded of the human ear they grew on the
back of a mouse (remember that one?), which
never happened4. Pictures can lie.
4
The Future Ain’t what it Used to Be
,f 5 And Virftial'Reafity^'^bu isbeii dhy of that?
Definitely still in the “Pone” stage6 but already
we got some slick movies'about how slick it’s
gonna be, given time.
Will we still be interested by then?
Maybe so. And while we’re dreaming of
“virtual sex” (like, who’s going to hose out that
phone booth8 ?) we might as well dream of anti
gravity9 too, and cold fusion10 while we’re at it.
But the fact is, any of this stuff might be
merely science fiction11, dramatic pipe
dreams12 of underfed writers.
There are possibly physical properties, laws
of physics13, which prevent such nonsense.
■i.-.v Physically, we mightbe limited to this plan
etary system a lot longer than Arthur C.
Clarke14 can imagine.
“Interdimensional Hyperspace15” may be
merely something Geordi16 says, but don’t take
my word for it17 !
Wet Revolutionary
The “wet18 ” revolution will make the sili
cone revolution19 look like steam power20. Its
development will span a longer technological
distance than exists between Alexander Bell
and the cell phone21 - it will represent a bigger
leap for mankind22 than any Armstrong23 ever
•'
And unlike the chimeras cited above,
Biotech24 is bankable25. .
It offers the future a kind of ultimate tool26.
The power of life means the ability to
accomplish anything. When evolution has a dri
ver’s seat27, nothing will stop life.
Sidereal space, inteigalactic space, are as
nothing to the intelligent species28.
The terraforming of Mars29 may take cen
turies, but its experimental results will still be
tap dancing in the year 3 billion30.
And no matter what shape it takes, life will
be our legacy in the universe.
Mark Baldridge31 is a senior English
major and Opinion Editor for the Daily
Nebraskan
Nanotechnology: The idea here was that microscopic
1 gizmos (with tiny gears and Lilliputian camshafts) swarm
I ing over everything like invisible ants would one day clear
out your arteries, comb your hair and build your car for you
out of scrap iron and discarded foil packets ...
2 A musical instrument that replaced the accordion.
3The electron microscope made fly eyes look like
strange planets. Pictures do lie, after all.
4A photograph that ran in papers all over the country in
the late 1990s showed a human ear “growing” on a mouse’s
back. The ear had actually been cut from a culture of
human cartilage and inserted under the mouse’s skin to
demonstrate that cartilage faces no risk of “rejection” by
the host. So convincing was the photo that many people
believed it represented the result of gene splicing or some
other such hoodoo.
5A supposedly computer-generated “reality” that was
purported to be much nicer than the real thing, with fewer
consequences.
6Pong: an early computer game, based on ping-pong
and excruciatingly dull, even by 20th century standards.
7Movies were moving pictures, with sound, meant to
entertain. A primitive sort of “virtual reality” (see 5,
above), movies were obsessed with themselves to the point
of distraction.
8 Phone booth: a telecommunications node, good tor
changing into Superman outfits.
9The ridiculous notion that gravity could be countered
by an opposite force. Imagine antilight.
I(*Cold fusion, like the unicorn, a fanciful beast,
arm of writing having to do with ridiculous
pothetical technological advances, such as
metal men, zap guns and the like.
12 At this writing, marijuana was still ille
gal, no one yet having realized its true poten
tial as a time-traveling medium.
13Medieval notion that the universe is nm
by immutable “laws,” not unlike Robert’s Rules
14Science fiction writer (see 11, above).
15A shortcut around the absolute limit of the
speed of light. The notion current was that mas
sive metal ships would be pushed through the eye
p ? of a needle and arrive “elsewhere.”
,6Geordi LaForge, a character in a popular science fic
tion (see 11, above) scenario, known for wearing a kind of
“banana” hair clip over his eyes.
17A mild attempt at humor. The actor who portrayed
Geordi LaForge also hosted a reading program for children.
“But don’t take my word for it!” was one of his execrable
tag lines.
l8“Wet,” as in “wetware,” the hardware/software model
used to describe the human brain. Biological. Water-based.
19Early computers Telied on tiny silicone “chips” to
make calculations.
20At this time, steam power had been replaced by the
stinky “Internal Combustion Engine,” a kind of bomb that
propelled a vehicle.
21 The phone was a short-lived experiment. Banned by
“right to silence” legislation.
22 At the time, it was popular to suppose that the human
species was composed entirely of men.
23 Armstrong: first man on the moon. Famous quote:
That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for Mankind,
(see 22, above)
24Biotechnology, the idea that biological principles can
be manipulated and controlled (Ha!)
25 At the time of this writing, currency was in the form
of ones and zeroes stored in memory “banks.”
l ne iaea oi numamry as me 1001-using species was
current in the 20th century.
27lt was widely believed at the time that evolution was a
“blind” process that over “billions” of years generated all
life forms. By accident, no less.
28Supposedfy, humans.
29 A popular notion from science fiction (see 11, above)
that the planet Mars could be made hospitable to normal
humans. Note the, arrogance, that a planet should change to
fit humans and not the other way around.
30This was a form of reckoning time from the advent of
a Jewish revolutionary. The author would have been writing
almost 2000 years later.
3 •Mark Baldridge, writer. Unknown and underappreci
ated in his lifetime, his work was re-discovered in the year
of-our-Bug 200. Faded, and yellowed, his infamous
“Footnotes to the Future” was almost totally mistaken,
except for the mysterious and self-referential “31st foot
note, for which he is justly famous.