Wishful praying
Belief in God doesn’t prevent car towing*. M /
Lost
Man’s
Alibi
with Itevor
Johnson
I— III I ■11^— I
Today I got towed. I’m blaming
everyone but myself. Liberal white
man is ranting. Somewhere, I will
make a point. If you’re a Christian,
don’t read this.
I’m going to point out the obvi
ous. Christmas season is coming.
(Holy fartstockings, Batman, this
guy can read a calendar.) Question:
Does anyone else listen to “Joy to the
World” and get really, really pissed
off?
So yeah, a bunch of people who
are damning everyone else to hell
because they don’t believe in a book
that was written 35 years after the
fact by some guy who spoke a differ
ent language and hand-picked the
stories, are now spreading joy to all
the people who can think for them
selves before they all bum in eternal
condemnation. Truly sweet people. -
Where do I sign-up?
I’ve heard that God’s got a plan
for everyone. Was it in God’s plan for
me to get towed today? How can God
sing “Joy to the world,” and tow me?
Doesn’t the Bible say somewhere
that God is all good? Do people actu
ally believe this book?
All right, back to my point (and I
don’t have one). Christmas is com
ing. I got towed today, (It’s the third
time this has been said), and I’m
pissed (got that one).
But if I pray to God, all my
pissedoflfedness will go out the win
dow.
Here goes: (I really am trying
here).
Dear God, forgive me of my sins,
and give me my goddamn 100 bucks
back. Oh Jesus Christ, saying god
damn is a sin isn’t it? Jesus Christ is
another one, goddamn it. I just can’t
get this right. Goddamn it.
One more try to get back to this
point thing (don’t think its gonna
happen). The holidays are right
around the comer and all these peo
ple, (Christians) who condemn all
these other people (non-Christians)
are saying peace and joy and love to
humans, ((This is really bothering
you, isn’t it?) (No, it’s the towing
thing.)) because Jesus was bom a
long time ago.
But right now I am wondering
why, (he got his car towed) it takes
belief in God during the holidays to
realize that humans need to value
other humans?
Because I am starting to figure
out (that he’s out a lot of money) that
as humans, we need to value each
other as humans, simply because we
are humans.
The only thing we really know
about creation is that it happened. (Is
this the point?) And because creation
happened, humans happened.
And it is my opinion (as pissed
off as that opinion is right now) that
we are not putting enough thought
into the fact that we are human.
(What does that mean?)
You see I got towed today. (Is that
the fifth or sixth time he said that?)
And God had nothing to do with me
getting towed. (That’s what he
thinks.) And if I praise God all my
life, I could still get towed again. The
only one who is going to make sure I
am not going to get towed again is
me.
(Disregard that last paragraph.
It’s a bunch of B.S. Nothing is my
fault. Nothing. Well,
except for the good
things. But I do
nothing wrong.)
OK, I do a lot
wrong. But I also
do a lot right, and it
is not God who is
making me to do
right or wrong. It’s
me.
Matt Haney/DN
Trevor Johnson is a junior secondary education and English major and a Daily Nebraskan columnist
Statistics lie
Don't let numbers determine self-worth
Did you know that:
If you’re black, you’re 61 percent
less likely to graduate college, 63 per
cent more likely to be blamed for a
crime, and there’s a 58 percent chance
you’ll be paid less than white peers for
doing the same job.
If you’re of Asian descent there’s a
67.5 percent chance you will be stereo
typed as over-studious. There’s also a
74 percent chance people will think
you were bom in an Asian country,
even if you have lived here your entire ■
fife.
If you’re white, you’re 42 percent
more likely to get “called on” by a
teacher in a grade-school classroom
than minority students, and you’re 66.5
percent more likely to get your car bro
ken into because it is believed valu
ables are inside.
If you’re a woman, you’re 44 per
cent more likely to get paid less for
doing the same job that a man does,
even though you’re 26 percent more
likely to do a better job at it
If you’re a man, you’re 39 percent
more likely to solve a problem with
violence and 42 percent more likely to
be die one in a relationship who starts
an affair.
And if you’re reading this column,
there’s a 100 percent chance you’ve
formed strong opinions about the sta
tistics listed above.
There’s also a 100 percent chance I
made every one of diem 15).
So why create a series of false sta
tistics?
To show you one very valuable
thing: that your life is never governed
by what statistics, studies or die num
bers say.
In an era when technology has
made numbers and statistics critically
important, it seems that we put more
weight on numbers than the people
behind them.
You see it with political polls,
dropout statistics, crime statistics and
gender statistics.
Example: Black people are_per
cent more likely to commit a crime
than white people.
We’ve gotten to a point where we
care more about who causes the crime
than why the crime happens in the first
place.
Are blacks more likely to commit a
crime than whites? Frankly, I don’t
care. I’m more interested in knowing
how to prevent the crime. And for
whatever reason a black man or
woman commits a crime, I’m willing
to bet there^ a white man or woman
who does it for the exact same reason.
We let statistics like this one and
the ones at the beginning of this col
umn mold our actions and expecta
tions. . '
How many of you thought the sta
tistics I created sounded outrageous?
Probably few ofyou did, because
we’ve been hearing statistics similar to
these our entire lives.
But what’s dangerous is that people
actually begin to accept such statistics,
even if they are misleading.
If you’re a woman, maybe you
accept a lower paycheck than a man
because it seems a statistical majority
of women are doing the same thing.
But such actions and acceptance
of statistics are wrong. Just because
a statistic says one thing doesn’t
mean you have to live your life in
its shadow.
Look at history. How many
black scholars would have risen to
prominence if they had accepted
the “studies” and “statistics” of the
late 1800s that paralleled black
peoples’ intelligence with that of
die apes?
Would John F. Kennedy have
run for president coupled with the
statistic that no U.S. president
elected had ever been a Catholic?
And would we have perhaps %
passed cm Alaska (and its generous > ’
supply of oil), if we had listened to
public opinion polls, which stated p
that people did not support buying y
what they considered to be noth- |
ing more than an Arctic chunk of * ■
ice?
So here’s my advice: As you
and I leave UNL and enter the work
ing world, defy statistics. If a statistic
says you’re more likely to get paid
less, fight to tum the statistic around.
In essence, don’t let a bunch of
numbers tell you how to live your life.
No zeros, decimals or percentage
points should control your destiny.
With hard work and a strong belief
in yourself, little else is needed to con
vince you of your own worth and pos
#
sibilities.
Deb Lee/DN
KaseyKerber is a senior news-editorial major and a Daily Nebraskan columnist
