_^_>_Friday, April 16,1999 ■ Daily Nebraskan ■ Page 5
Worth the wait
Instant gratification, American way of life, bear downfalls
JAY GISH is a senior broad
casting major and a Daily
Nebraskan columnist.
Fast satisfaction.
That’s what we all want, right? It
almost seems like America has been
built entirely so it’s possible to gratify
itself in full and immediate fashion.
Take fast food. Socially, that’s how
the rest of the world identifies us: a
nation of fast-food addicts.
If they knew about the 10-minute
wedding chapels in Vegas, they’d also
assume we were addicted to fast love.
(Let’s try to keep those under wraps, all
right?)
The ATM came about so none of us
would ever get a fiscal urge that could
n’t be taken care of. It’s an ever-ready
baby bottle for our wallets.
When we want a car stereo, we
want to be able to drive the fastest route
to Best Buy, grab the box of choice,
and purchase it, interference-free, with
a credit card. Then we zoom back out
the automatic doors to hook the bad
boy up.
Soon, our faces reveal the attain
ment of a secular nirvana as we enjoy
the tunes thumping out of our purchas
es. Purrrr.
It s the cycle of American life: Get
an urge, fill it. Enjoy the temporary
pleasure it provides. When we become
bored with what we have, or it gets ,
used up, identify the next urge. Fill it
You remember the kind of things
you were taught growing up, though,
right? The sayings we heard in Sunday
school (or if not there, elementary and
high schools, and if not there some
times on our old friend TV) taught us
differently.
Money can’t buy happiness. You
would enjoy something a lot more if
you worked for it. Patience is a virtue.
All you need is love.
Those are cliches that crisscross
our individual upbringings. You simply
can’t avoid them.
But do we really believe those
things? I’ve never really heard anybody
stand up and vehemently disagree
when he or she was told money would
n’t make him or her happy, or that the
easy way isn’t always die best way.
Were we sitting in silent agree
ment? Or were we all just too afraid to
stand up and yell, “Yes it will, and yes
it is!”
Our collective actions say that we
think all those lovely cliches are bunk.
We pursue money, avoid hard work,
say to hell with patience and treat love
like it’s a secondary (or even inconse
quential) goal.
And by no means can I sit on a
throne and say, “Not me.” I enjoy and
utilize the comforts of American soci
ety as much as the next guy.
But I can say I know better, and
that, at times, I’m sorry about it.
And that’s not just because I was
raised Christian—hearing over and
over how true disciples abandon all
their possessions and how big a bitch it
is for a rich man to get into heaven.
Those lessons stuck with me, but
there’s much more to life than them.
Most of us at are probably used to
eating pretty much whenever we feel
like it We work at a job that, physically,
isn’t horribly demanding. We sit and lie
down for hours upon hours each day.
I was lucky enough to grow up and
work in a rural community, where for
short periods you missed those little
luxuries. (That’s because of work - not
because my family was destitute or
anything.)
During those weeks of patrolling
endless fields of soybeans in search of
weeds to hack up with a machete, the
little amenities were made worth a lot
more.
First, you’d get into the fields about
a half-hour before sunrise. If you
haven’t been in a bean field at that time
... don’t go. The beans are dripping
with dew, which means that inevitably
within five minutes you are soaked
from the crotch down (with dew, obvi
ously). It’s damn cold.
You’ve probably seen a movie
where someone says, “I’ve never been
so happy to see the sunrise!” Well, that
thought went through your head every
day in that bean field. The sun was
your only hope of drying off and final
ly ending your shivers.
Of course, after working a half-day
in the Nebraska summer sun, you’re
just as happy to find some shade and
some food. Not good food, mind you -
often sandwiches that are soaked with
exploded Coke and missing the cheese
that one of your co-workers stole.
But you couldn’t say that food did
n’t taste good to you at the time. And
once you got home after a 10-hour day,
you wouldn’t trade a shower and a long
sit on the couch for anything.
Normally, I wouldn’t have even
thought about those things. I would
have taken them for granted and moved
on to less basic desires - like which
Nintendo game I would play.
You really do appreciate things
more if you suffer for ’em a little.
That’s cliche, but it’s true... and in a
way it’s a shame that we tend not to
truly understand that most of our lives.
So here are a couple of lines you
can add to that “Everybody Should
Wear Sunscreen” song - if you choose
to call it a song (and as if that preachy
guy hasn’t become annoying enough
already):
The convenience of American life
is great. But every once in a while,
deny yourself your most common
desire until you feel you can’t take it
anymore. Do a menial task you would
n’t have to do. Stand out in die cold
once in a while.
Once you finally go back inside or
get that chocolate you’ve been craving,
you might be glad you did.
Breakin’ the law
Columnist offers advice to slide through run-ins with boys in blue
TIM SULLIVAN is a third
year law student and a
Daily Nebraskan colum
nist.
Don’t speed. Don’t run red lights.
Don’t pass on the right, especially at
those intersections where one lane
becomes two for about a half-block
before and after the intersection.
Try not to be an aggressive driver. I
know we all get in a hurry sometimes,
and we get frustrated when traffic
slows down. But get this: Traffic isn’t
really slowing down any; you’re just in
an unreasonable hurry. Relax.
In short, don’t create reasons to be
stopped. That’s a sure-fire way to not
get a ticket.
to jail as a result of getting into fights
with the people they live with.
Husbands beat on their wives, or
vice versa, and someone calls the cops.
In a lot of jurisdictions the law requires
the cop to lodge someone who com
mits an act of domestic violence.
That could be a major hassle.
Well - unless you’re a complete
idiot you know the answer to this one.
Don’t be a perpetrator of domestic
violence. ’Nuff said.
The solution
If the cops have been giving you
headaches, don’t worry, you’re not
alone. Lots of people have problems
with the law.
There are people like you every
where who ignore traffic laws and
endanger the lives of everyone else.
You’re no different.
There’s a hell of a lot of people who
use illegal drugs and/or contribute to
the delinquency of minors. You’re
indistinguishable.
There are hoards of people who go
to jail for domestic violence and/or
assault. Seems pretty normal, huh?
Again, you’re just one more unlucky -
soul who got caught
• Do I really need to tell you what to
do?
The problem
Yo man! The man got you down?
Like, has Johnny Law been givin’
you the blues?
Well then listen up. And listen close
now cuz I’m only gonna tell you this
once.
There are a few things you can do
to help keep the fuzz off your back.
Traffic stops
Have you ever been pulled over for
speeding? If you have, then you know
the drill.
The cop starts by asking you for
your license, registration and proof of
insurance. Then he or she asks if you
know why they pulled you over.
If you’re smart, as soon as the cop
flips on the lights, you’re reaching into
the registration holder op the visor
above you and grabbing the registra
tion and insurance card. You pull over
and get your driver’s license out - fast.
Then you hold all three of those in
your left hand, both hands on the steer
ing wheel, where the cop can see them.
Cops like to be able to see your hands.
Don’t disappoint them. You just make
them edgy if you don’t.
Remember, you want to be dealing
with a cool, level-headed cop.
When the cop asks you if you know
why you were stopped, say yes. Say
you were going a little fast. Admit it.
(It’s true, right?)
It you act like you re clueless, that
tells the cop that you weren’t even
aware you were speeding - a major
strike against you if the cop was con
sidering giving you a warning because
you were considerate enough to have
your hands on the wheel where they
could be seen and your papers ready
for inspection.
But hey - there’s one other thing
that will keep you from getting a ticket.
Don’t drive like an idiot.
Searches of your home
You all know the Fourth
Amendment protects all of us from
unreasonable searches and seizures.
But some folks just can’t seem to keep
the cops from snooping through their
personal belongings in their homes.
Maybe you’ve had the experience,
maybe not.
One way this happens is when you
live in an apartment building and
smoke a little dope in your apartment
now and then. One of your neighbors
detects the rather distinguishable and
pungent odor of burning marijuana and
calls the cops. The cops show up, smell
the dope and have probable cause for
the search.
A Maybe you’re having a party. Let’s
say it’s not even a big party. You’ve
got a few of your friends over and the
music turned up a little loud. A neigh
bor calls the cops.
The cops show up and knock on
your door to tell you to turn the music
dowa When you open the door, the
pungent aroma of that joint you
smoked a half-hour ago is still linger
ing. The “plain smell” of the pot gives
them, well, you know - probable cause.
Maybe when you open the door the
cop sees everyone swilling on beers,
but half the people in the room look
underage. Ever heard of search inci
dent to arrest? Hmm.
There’s a few things you can do to
prevent this stuff from happening to
you.
You can try stuffing towels under
the doors, burning incense, or keeping
the music down.
But here’s a new idea - try not
smoking dope and keeping underage
drinkers out of your pad.
It works wonders, man.
Domestic disputes
It’s really surprising the number of
people who get arrested and carted off