telling the small community that their son has
HIV
“Dad will say: ‘What they don’t know won’t
hurt them,”’ he said.
He’s very understanding of their reluctance to
tell, though. He called his father “a great man”
and his mother a “wonderful mom.”
“They are proud of everything I’ve done out
here,” he said.
The ivy vine of stigmas and phobias connect
ed to the virus makes McCarty’s sympathetic
compromise understandable.
He was active in high school in sports, drama
and band and “so respected by the coaches and
everyone that they gave me my own set of keys for
the gym.”
Now, when he’s back home, he dances around
a number of issues. _ $
If spending die day in public, he has to find a
sneaky way of taking the 48 prescribed pills he
needs every day. Complaining about his often
severe arthritis would be hard to explain at his
age.
“It’s frustrating that I have to sit there and lie
about why I don’t feel well enough to go to an auc
tion at 6 a.m.,” he said.
Questions about dating net smoke-screened
answers. He avoids the complex issues about
HIV-positive people finding romantic partners.
The silent nature of McCarty’s life back home
says a lot of things, including gender.
“If I was a woman, this wouldn’t be as diffi
cult to go public with,” he said.
Hartley agreed: “People tend to feel more
sorry for women with HIV than men who have it,”
she said. “It’s because they don’t even understand
how women can get it”
McCarty admits he was infected with HIV
because he practiced unsafe sex.
But it seems society’s attitude towards HIV
and AIDS has given him an additional affliction -
a secrecy virus that has spread within him over the
years. He can speak about his disease in front of
any group, but he still refuses to tell the name of
his small Illinois hometown.
“When I die it will have to say that I had HIV
in my obituary,” he said. “I think all my family and
friends who don’t know will be shocked and hurt
that they weren’t told.”
■L A <r
I
Lane Hickenbottom/DN
CLOCKWISE FROM UPPER LEFT: AS A SEX EDUCATOR, McCarty talks to a group of
Cather-Pound-Nelhardt residents In Neihardt Resilience Cantor last Thursday. By
telling others of his experiences, McCarty said, he hopes to save lives.
DARREN McCARTY laughs while Patty Garlvay, a polysomnographic technologist,
jokes with him while preparing him for a recent sleep study at Bryan Medical
Center West. As an HIV patient, McCarty often finds himself inside hospitals,
laboratories and clinics.
McCARTY WORKS OUT almost every day to keep healthy and maintain his lean
muscle mass, which HIV patients have a hard time maintaining.
McCARTY WAITS while RN Kathy Meyer administers a testosterone shot. McCarty
gets the shots weekly to maintain his muscle mass and energy.
JOHNNA HAR6ENS, a junior psychology major, reacts to McCarty’S talk Thursday
night in Neihardt Hall. In his speaking engagements, McCarty receives all kinds
of reactions - both laughter and tears.
$