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TODD MUNSON is a senior
broadcasting major and a Daily
Nebraskan columnist
A little trivia for y’all. What does Todd, your
friendly neighborhood columnist, have in com
mon with ’70s rocker Rick Derringer?
While he was jammin’ to “Rock ’n’ Roll
Hoochie Koo,” back in Section G, Row 47 of the
Omaha Civic Auditorium on the 3rd of March,
1975,1 was conceived in that gray area some
where between the second and third verse.
By the time “I didn’t ask to be bom” started
pumping through the Marshall stacks, the won
ders of nature and cell division began to happen,
thus securing my destiny as a child of rock ’n’
roll.
Is it any wonder the first album I remember
owning was Queen’s “Flash Gordon” sound
track? The second I laid down that bit of vinyl on
my Fisher-Price record player, I knew rock was
the savior of the universe.
There’s also the “Eye of the Tiger” 45. Amy,
my kindergarten sweetheart, still anguishes
about the suffering she endured being forced to
listen to “Survivor” for hours on end. Maybe
that’s what caused us to break up before the start
of the first grade.
Who needed girls? I was up in my room
pounding away on my Muppets drum kit and
slicing and dicing the plastic strings of my
Smurfs guitar, all while wearing Underoos on
my head. Had to be a mysterious rock star, you
know.
r$y second grade, l outgrew the Underoos
and had transformed into an 8-year-old carbon
copy of my idol, Billy Idol, complete with the
spiky hair.
Shoot, this column isn’t supposed to be about
my rock ’n’ roll childhood, but about the merits
and foibles of the fair known as Lilith.
Well, I say poop on Lilith Fair and everything
about it According to my good friend, the
anonymous dictionary with the missing cover,
Lilith was a female demon or vampire who lived
in desolate places. Or, in medieval Jewish folk
lore, she was the first wife of Adam before the
creation of Eve, and when that happened, she
became a night witch who' terrorized infants.
Lilith sounds a lot like several ex-girlfriends
of mine.
At the turn of the millennium, the last thing I
imagined would happen is a music festival as
janky as Lilith Fair. It just as easily could have
been called “M.E.N. G.O.O.D.” (Musical
Experience for the Neurotic Girls Of Our Day.)
If die future were like the “Mad Max”
movies, the Apocalypse would have wiped out
all the pansy Lilith chicks, and I wouldn’t be
writing this, I’d be out doing apocalyptic
shenanigans.
The biggest problem I have with Lilith Fair
isn’t the idea of women getting together for a
summer music fest. I’m cool with that. But the
lineup sucks.
If Lilith Fair were the XX chromasomal
equivalent of the “Monsters of Rock Tour” of
many moons ago and featured bands such as L7,
Babes in Toyland, the Lunachicks and Tribe 8,
amongst others, I’d be there in a second, scared
for my life at the prospect of being trampled to
death by a herd of she-males.
The fear of death is what makes going to a
concert fun in the first place.
I went to my first rock concert when I was
fifteen. Metallica. Omaha Civic Auditorium
(yes, the one in which I was conceived). Black
Album tour. I went in a boy and came out a man.
No, I didn’t get laid. I survived the mosh pit,
barely. I left with fried retinas from the explo
sions during “One” and was deaf for a week.
A year later, I nearly lost my toes after a day
of moshing in a Lollapalooza pit wearing san
dals.
Having learned a painful lesson, I picked up
a pair of steel-toed Scars Diehards for serious
shows, such as Tool or White Zombie, and
they’ve done their job keeping my feet safe.
At Lilith Fair, Diehards would be out of place
unless they were on the feet of a Feminazi hell
bent on getting busy with Ani DiFranco back
stage.
The closest I came to Lilith Fair was seeing
Lineup at Lilith Fair
only suitable for wimps
who don't rock
the Dave Matthews Band. I do like their albums,
but the concert was so lame. Of course, this was
just a week removed from seeing KISS from the
eighth row, so that may have had something to do
with it
If going to a concert is on a list of your sum
mer activities, please, do yourself a favor and
don’t go to Lilith Fair. It will suck. What’s the fun
in sitting around listening to whiny songs about
the horrors of boys and out-of-tune acoustic gui
tars? That’s not even a concert, it’s more like a
self-actualization session with 10,000 people.
Please people, don’t go to Lilith Fair. Even if
you hate rock, I guarantee you the gala and spec
tacle of a rock show alone will be so much better
than the sheer horror of being in the presence of
women who’ve got more issues than National
Geographic.
To close out this little ditty, I’ve composed a
song to the tune of “Iron Man” by Black
Sabbath, the original metal band. Enjoy. But
before you do, leva, the DN’s Latvian Princess,
turns 20 this week. Wish her a happy b-day.
“Lilith Fair”
Start growing your leg hair.
We ’re going to Lilith Fair.
Strap your Birkenstocks tight.
We 're gonna hold each other tonight.
Don’t bother bringing ear plugs.
The music
play
couldn’t
deafen a
slug.
I
Ijmy
dad wasn’t so
cheap,
we’d be rid
ing in a nicer Jeep.
Lilith, Lilith Fair,
we ’re going to Lilith Fair.
Flowers, flowers everywhere.
Gonna put some in our short hair.
By the human rights booth
is a cute girl by the name of Ruth.
Is she straight or is she bi?
It’s hard to tell with those hairy thighs.
On stage isAni DiFranco.
Last night, she was on Jay Leno.
Lilith, Lilith Fair,
we ’re going to Lilith Fair.
At the end of the night
Ozzy swooped down and established his ,
might.
Now all the girls are dead.
That’s what they getfor having no sense in
the head.
Lilith, Lilith Fair,
Don’t go there if you dare.
Concert experience
shatters stereotypes of
Lilith Fair festival
ERIN REITZ is a senior theater
performance major and a Daily
Nebraskan columnist
I decided recently that I’m a bit of an oddity
(everyone who knows me is now uttering a col
lective “duh” right about now). I say this because
I love practically every kind of music there is.
Except polka.
And Joey McIntyre.
I can rock out to Nine Inch Nails or mellow
myself with the Cowboy Junkies. I love listening
to Bach and Vivaldi. I won’t apologize for dig
ging Ice Cube and old school Public Enemy.
Hell, I’ll even turn on Froggy 98 every once in
awhile (thanks for the influence, my East
Campus compadres).
Because I am such a worldly gal when it
comes to music, it should come as no surprise
that I love going to concerts.
I love the vibe running through the crowd
when the band is about to take the stage. I love
the opportunity to get a contact high from tokers
nearby. (Well, not sb much. That actually gives
me a wicked stomachache.) I love convinc
ing myself my life would be complete if
only I had that band’s $30 T-shirt in my
drawer. '
I love the
whole idea of the concert,
especially die ones you get to road trip to.
My official mantra when it comes to them is
that you should get out and go to as many as you
possibly can. (Oh, and try to go for free if you get
the chance. I hate to say it, but it’s probably easier
to do this if you’re a girl. Sorry, guys.)
This is why I’ve made it an official tradition
to trek to Lilith Fair every year.
Now, this is the time when I help you to get
all of the stupid, pre-conceived notions about this
show out of your educated heads. IV attention.
I don’t own any Paula Cole CDs. I’m not a
member of die National Organization for
Women. I have a boyfriend. I shave. For the last
two years, I’ve taken the road trip to Sandstone
with a guy. So, do I fit your stereotype of die typ
ical chick who goes to Lilith? Probably not
Missy “Misdemeanor” Elliot Queen Latifah
and Larnyn Hill all performed on the tour last
year. Do they fit your stereotype of the women
who
make up Lilith? I’m guessing “probably not”
again. Not every performer there is your typical
acoustic guitar-strumming altema-chick.
If whacked-out stereotypes are stopping you
from taking the opportunity to enjoy some of the
most amazing women in music, you should real
ly let go of them.
Last year, I got to see Me’Shell Ndegeocello,
Sarah McLachlan, Mary Chapin-Carpenter,
Natalie Merchant, Sinead O’Connor and the
Indigo Girls all in one place. There were local
Kansas City artists on the Village Stage, and
Martina McBride and Sister 7 on the Second
Stage. That’s a lot of talent for a measly 50
bucks.
Tour organizer McLachlan has made a point
to mix up the venues enough to include a little
something for everyone. When you go, you’re
going to see bands you don’t recognize, and you
wouldn’t normally ever hear. This is a good
thing, y’all. The real fun of living life is to expose
yourself to new things, after all.
w nen you go 10 me
Ozzfest tour, you know
what you’re gonna get.
You’re going to get a
bunch of whacked
out freaky freakies
busting it up in
the mosh pit f
That’s so 1995.
Lilith mixes it
up by not just
being a concert. It’s
music combined
with messages and
philanthropy. Last
year $700,000 was
given to charities when
all was said and done.
Of course, they give
you the opportunity to buy
tat much-needed tie-dye,
too.
))
\
J
You can get stickers for your car,
rings, free condoms and tempo
rary tattoos, clothes and infor
mation about what’s happening
in the world. Sure, there’s always
some crap that monopolizes on
woman-power to sell itself (like the self
empowering nail polish someone was
hocking last year), but most of it is pretty
fly
The real thrill last year was seeing all
the guys walking around with Biore
. n strips on their noses and hear
ng them say, out l did
n’t know it’d take 15
minutes
j to dry!
Man, am I a
tool!”
Oh yes, there
are antics all
around.
Bottom
line, though, this show
is an amazing display of
what women in the music
industry can do. It’s not about
how many lesbians you can spot in
the crowd or how many straps you
have on your Biikenstocks.
It’s about supporting local artists and getting
to see some of your long-time favorites. It’s
about educating yourself on important issues. It’s
about contributing to worthy causes, like
RAINN (the Rape and Incest National Network).
Itls about the road trip and the fun you can have
while you’re rockin’ out to Liz Phair or Tracy
Bonham.
All in all, it’s a rad concert experience.
Someone who s actually been there thinks
you should roundup some friends this summer
and go to Lilith It’ll start in July, probably in
Canada. (Hey, great excuse to go to Canada, eh?)
It’s a good time for not too much money, so
dimip your prejudices, and let yourself groove
with some talented chicks.
Oh, and uh, if you’re offering a free ticket, I
may know a taker....
