EDITOR
Erin Gibson
OPINION
EDITOR
Cliff Hicks
EDITORIAL
BOARD
Nancy Christensen
Brad Davis
Sam McKewon
Jeff Randall
Bret Schulte
Editarlal Policy
Unsigned editorials are the opinions of
the Spring 1999 Daily Nebraskan. They
do not necessarily reflect the views of the
University of Nebraska-Lincoln, its
employees, its student body or the
University of Nebraska Board of Regents.
A column is solely the opinion of its author.
The Board of Regents serves as publisher
of the Daily Nebraskan; policy is set by
the Daily Nebraskan Editorial Board. Tne
UNL Publications Board, established by
the regents, supervises the production
of the paper. According to policy set by
the regents, responsibility for the editorial
content of the newspaper lies solely in
the hands of its student employees.
/ Our
VIEW
Breaking
news
Serbian broadcasts
new threat to NATO
Late last week, we learned that NATO
named Serb television a military target.
Serb news is heavily censored and govern
ment regulated, and its broadcasts have made
many false claims about NATO actions since
the Kosovo offensive began.
Serbian broadcasts have helped rally a
nation behind their leader, Slobodan
Milosevic. Undoubtedly, the broadcasts have
increased his power at home.
So Serb television is viewed by NATO as a
lie-spreading propaganda machine that must
come to a screeching halt unless it agrees to
broadcast two hours of Western news broad
casts each day. Such compliance isn’t expect
ed.
Because wiping out Serb propaganda
could help erode Milosevic’s popular support,
it makes sense that television broadcasts -
unarguably the most effective means for
spreading propaganda today - could be mis
sile targets.
We don’t find that remarkable.
Controlling the enemy’s propaganda is part of
any battle. What we do find remarkable is
how television and Internet broadcasting
technology has given the media the type of
power to become an international threat.
That power is evident at www.Serbia
info.com, a site that claims to be “Your guide
through Serbia” and is operated by the
Serbian Ministry of Information.
On Sunday, the site’s main headline read,
“NATO kills a baby.” It was accompanied by a
picture of baby blanket lying over a lump in
wreckage. A story summary read, “NATO air
craft kills 11-month-old girl Bojana and her
father and heavily injures her mother in the
ninth month of pregnancy.”
Another two dozen headlines will shock
you there, including, “NATO heroes went
after the important strategic target and
destroyed a poor village school in Bogutovac
with 6 missiles.”
This isn’t the only Web site featuring
Serbian propaganda, but it’s certainly among
the most tame. It’s probably effective, too.
People believe most anything on a full-color
television or computer monitor.
Because Serb television and Internet sites
have the power to instantly influence a world
wide audience, this conflict will feature the
most advanced battle ever waged against
enemy communication.
The Kosovo conflict also will become the
first international military duel where ene
mies will duke it out on the Internet, as well as
through munitions. Any punk with telecom
munications capabilities can join the battle
and influence the world.
It’s a technology-induced dilemma to
which censorship isn’t the solution. Serbian
television proves that freedom of the press is
central to the truth being told.
Perhaps no solution exists for this fright
ening game where perception can outrank
reality.
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letters to the editor and guest columns,
but does not guarantee their publication.
The Daily Nebraskan retains the right to
edit or reject any material submitted.
Submitted material becomes property of
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letters must identify themselves by name,
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affiliation, if any.
Submit material to: Daily Nebraskan, 34
Nebraska Union, 1400 R St. Lincoln,
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letters@unHnfo.unl.edu.
Branch’s
VIEW
r
€t H
Par for the course
Spring brings out worst in Tiger Woods wannabes
A.L. FORKNER is a junior
news-editorial major and a
Daily Nebraskan columnist
As spring, the season of love and
romance approaches I think it’s time
we all had that talk.
You know the one. The talk where I
explain the rules of the game. How to
do it properly. Who to do it with. What
strokes to use.
Yes, it’s that time in every colum
nist’s life when he or she must have that
special talk with his or her readers.
Let’s talk golf.
For some, golf conjures up images
of Tiger Woods slipping on the green
jacket at the Masters a few years back.
Perhaps you think of Arnold
Palmer and his knock-kneed putting
stance.
Well, I’m here to tell you that golf
isn’t all fun and games. No, it truly is a
four-letter word.
Golf is not all “Caddyshack.” Trust
me, I know. There are few golf courses
that allow boom boxes, beer kegs and
golf-cart polo - at least they didn’t at
die ones I have been kicked off of.
Sure, we’ve all seen the images.
Charlie Sheen stomping the ball into
the green in “Navy Seals.” Adam
Sandler sucker-punching Bob Barker
in “Happy Gilmore.” Jackie Mason
answering the familiar question, “What
do you call that club?” with “12
gauge!” in the modem day classic,
“Caddyshack 2.”
I hate to break this to you, but life
is not like the movies. Contrary to pop
ular belief, I cannot save the day in my
" F-14 after my friend dies. I don’t have a
secret identity; I’m always the mild
mannered reporter. I have never been,
and never will be, King of the World.
Because I stink at golf. I have two
distances: iron length and wood length.
It doesn’t matter which iron; they all go
the same distance.
Ditto for my woods. Want to know
the worst part? There’s only a 25-yard
difference between the two.
Unfortunately, I can’t stop playing
golf. See, I’m a guy. Guys play golf.
It’s a law.
I was having a similar discussion
with two women the other day. We all
agreed that golf was the male version
of shopping.
Women walk the malls all day
looking for a sale. Men walk the course
all day looking for their ball.
Women go in groups and talk
about men. Men go in foursomes and
talk about women (and cars, sports and
Baywatch).
A man will complain when his
wife brings home a hundred-dollar
sweater, but it’s perfectly OK for him to
buy a $500 golf club.
Men hate to go shopping with
women. Women, ever gone golfing
with The Guys? Didn’t think so.
Besides, the game is highly addic
tive. All it takes it that first good shot
One of those, “There is no way I could
do that again if my life depended on if’
type shots.
In my case, those shots usually go
like this. Tee up ball. Hit ball. Watch
ball go splash. Tee up another ball. Hit
ball. Watch ball bounce down the high
way. Tee up another ball. Hit ball.
Watch ball go off tree, down cart path
onto green and bounce off of the flag.
A shot of this caliber is generally
followed with the phrase, “I meant to
do that”
Maybe it’s time for the madness to
end. Someone needs to stand up for
men everywhere who don’t like golf
but play it anyway.
It’s time for the humiliation to stop.
Why should bad golfers (like me) be
subject to the ridicule, and worse, the
free advice from our playing partners?
It’s not right Not all of us have
been playing since we were kids. Not
all of us care if our elbow is bent or not.
Not all of us are Tiger Woods.
To hell with what the Nike ads say.
If you doubt anything I say about
the horrors of golf, please read my next
example carefully.
Once, there was a business student.
Let’s call him Brad.
Brad loved business. His dad was a
big-time New York businessman. Brad
could talk corporate meigers^eost
overrun analysis and elasticity all day.
But Brad hated golf. First, he was
5-foot-2. He had to use junior clubs.
Second, he really had no skill at all.
Hey, I’m not trying to be mean, I have
none either.
Deep down, Brad knew the secret
to being a good businessman was
being able to golf. Heck, he said, most
big business deals are made around the
11th green.
So what did Brad do? Well, that lit
tle trooper subjected himself to the
most tortuous, arduous and vicious
treatment available.
Golf lessons.
Scary, isn’t it? Most people think
golf lessons happen only to other peo
ple. No one realty expects it to happen
to them.
It can and does happen. Right now,
ordinary, average people like you and
me are listening to a person in a yellow
shirt and white pants tell them “That’s
better. Now, keep your head down and
the leading arm straight Good. Now,
relax and be the ball.”
No person, no matter how evil,
deserves that fate. Golf lessons are in
direct conflict with the 8th amendment,
cruel and unusual punishment and all
With that off my chest, I’ve got to
go, my tee time is in a half-hour. Now,
if I can just remember to keep my
wrists loose.
