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About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (April 9, 1999)
EDITOR Erin Gibson OPINION EDITOR Cliff Hicks EDITORIAL BOARD Nancy Christensen Brad Davis Sam McKewon Jeff Randall Bret Schulte r Quotes OF THE WEEK “The building can be replaced. But the labor of love is gone.” Maurice Champion-Garthe, church rector of St. David s Episcopal Church, which burned down Easter Sunday “We were surprised to see that many people behind the wheel drunk.” Sgt. Mike Bassett, of the Lincoln Police Department, on the large number of people who cited for drinking and dri ving over St. Patrick’s Day weekend “This is the win we’ve needed all year. We really showed them our men tal toughness today.” Kerry McDermott, NU men’s tennis coach, on the team’s two wins over last weekend “I’m not sure people know how to react when they have this much activi ty going on.” Ron Bowlin, Great Plains Festival co-chairman, on his expectations of the jam-packed weekend “I’m not a practicing Jew, I just think the Holocaust is everybody’s business, not just Jewish people.” Lev Schieber, UNL senior art major, on his trip to Auschwitz and its impact on his art “We have almost been derelict in our responsibility to the issue of women’s health.” Sen. Gerald Matzke of Sidney, regarding the bill to establish the Women s Health Initiative of Nebraska “I think any time you can say our offense is competing against our defense at a pretty high level, that says a lot of things about our offense this year, because our defense is one of the best around.” Eric Crouch, sophomore NU quar terback, on the first scrimmage for the team “It’s amazing. You would think the pope was coming.” Elaine Gillespie, Augusta home renter, on the swell of people who come to see the Masters golf tournament each year “People who want to win political campaigns are self-serving, egomania cal, sick individuals.” Tim I. Munson, UNL alumnus, on why he wasn’t serious about winning the 1980A SUN elections “The thing about polka is that when the people go to the polka dance, it’s like one big, happy family getting together and having a happy party.” Rod Nadherny, polka musician, on the enduring popularity of polka “I’ll miss him more than I would my right hand.” Hebron Sen. George Coordsen on the late Stanton Sen. Stan Schellpeper Editorial PiHcy Unsigned editorials are the opinions of the Spring 1999 Daily Nebraskan. They do not necessarily reflect the views of the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, its employees, its student body or the University of Nebraska Board of Regents. A column is solely the opinion of its author. The Board of Regents serves as publisher of the Daily Nebraskan; policy is set by the Daily Nebraskan Editorial Board. The UNL Publications Board, established by the regents, supervises the production of the paper. According to policy set by the regents, responsibility for the editorial content of the newspaper lies solely in the hands of its student employees. letter Policy The Daily Nebraskan welcomes brief letters to the editor and guest columns, but does not guarantee their publication. The Daily Nebraskan retains the right to edit or reject any material submitted. Submitted material becomes property^ the Daily Nebraskan and cannof be returned. Anonymous submissions will not be published. Those who submit letters must identify themselves by name, year in school, major and/or group affiliation, if any. Submit material to: Daily Nebraskan, 34 Nebraska Union, 1400 R St. Lincoln, NE. 68588-0448. E-mail: letters@unlinfo.unl.edu. Siers’ VIEW MaMOl Ufc SUOCWER !N kd5cno, mo km V sued_w gun , mwKMm-1. 1 Apocalypse later My god keeps his own time CLIFF HICKS is a senior news-editorial and English major and the Daily Nebraskan opinion editor. “Young man, the end of the world is nigh,” said the woman standing in front of the grocery store. “Are you prepared?” The young man had shed his leather jacket for the day, despite the gusting winds and the hail that had crashed down on his apartment earlier that morning. He looked at the woman with an arched eyebrow and a ques tioning look. “Really? When’s that going to happen?” “At the end of the year, when the millennium ends.” “This year?” She nodded sagely, as if telling him grave news. “This year, young man.” He paused, rubbing his goatee with a sly smile for a moment before responding. “But... the millennium doesn’t end this year.” “It does indeed, young man. Are you prepared for it?” “Uh, no. Actually, it doesn’t end this year. See, if you were to trace back, the first year on a calendar would be year 1 not year 0. The whole shebang started with 1 A.D., which means that the millennium ends at the end of the year 2000 not 1999. See, the first year of the third millennium will be 2001, like 1001 and 1.” The woman pondered this a moment, then turned to look at him. “Regardless of that fact, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, will be coming back for the Day of Reckoning soon now.” At this point, the young man crossed his arms over his chest and smiled curiously. “Where did he go?” “Who?” “Jesus Christ.” “He went to heaven.” - There was another brief pause as the young man stopped to consider this. “So why is he coming back now?” “We’re in need of judgment.” “We’ve been in need of judgment for a long time now. Why now?” “Because, it’s the end...” He looked down at the pamphlet and then looked up again as he inter rupted her. “So, this thing is wrong and Christ is coming back next year, not this year.” “Well...” “Come to think about it, why is he coming back then? Is there really some significance of two thousand years?” “Well...” “Actually, the calendar is an inven tion that I’m pretty sure wasn’t invent ed until after Christ died. Long after Christ died.” She continued trying to interrupt. “Well...” “See, all of this is just mathematical gobbledygook that doesn’t mean any thing to Christ. Considering he’s been dead for nearly two millennia, he’s on his own time zone, so we really don’t have an ETA on his return, if indeed he is coming back.” At this point, the woman insisted on jumping in. “Oh, he is coming back. We are in need of judgment and he will sort those souls who want to be saved and those who do not.” He squinted a little. “There are peo ple who don’t want to be saved?” “They must not be, otherwise they wouldn’t commit such godless actions.” “Like what?” “They’re defying the Lord’s will with their various assorted decadence.” “So, rules two thousand years old are supposed to be as applicable today as they were then?” ^ “Certainly, young man.” “Far be it from me to get into a dis cussion where I question your whole religion and way of life, but why again is the end of the world coming?” “So that those who are worthy can go and sit in heaven with God.” “And those who aren’t?” “Will be condemned to bum in the fiery pits of hell,” she finished for him. “Bum deal.” “Have you repented and prepared for Jesus to accept you?” “Why doesn’t he now?” “He doesn’t because you haven’t repented; he only take tiiose that have repented to him.” “This God of yours sounds pretty selfish.” The woman look aghast. “How can you say such a thing?” “Well, thou shall have no other god but me, you have to believe I’m right or I can’t love you ... sounds like a little child.” Don t you believe in God, young man?” “Oh, certainly, but not your God. See, I believe in a non-interventionist God, one who doesn’t interfere in the daily lives of people and doesn’t pass judgment. I’m not even sure there is an afterlife, but I buy this whole creator concept. I just can’t buy into all these stories you people have, because they contradict what I feel.” She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Things will change. You will gain faith, eventually, or I shall mourn your passage into hell.” “Better to reign in hell than to serve in heaven. Milton said that in ‘Paradise Lost.’ It’s a tough call, but I’ve never been one for slavery and oppression. Let me be ruled by none, certainly not your god who claims to be a king.” “Do not worry, young man. Sooner or later, you will find God” He paused and then smiled as he carried his groceries back to his car. “I wasn’t aware he was lost” If you have opinion? and iteab%to write, we might pubfish them, It you cans wife, Mm te&mfmm, m might publish those loo. The Daily Nebraskan Is now accept appiications for fan column andaeartoonfel. Any max* mi and das$ stancfing wi be eliaibte as tong as applicants are enroHed in at lea^ six credit hours and maintain a 2.0 QPA or higher. Prospective columnists or cartoonists musf compiete m \ application, available in 34 Nebraska Union, and submit two sample columns or tour sample cartoons, pufclshedor unpublished. Applications are due Friday, Apit9, and interviews wt be arranged by the opinion -editor: