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About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (March 30, 1999)
God Squad Choosing battles makes for greater success in conversions A.L. FORKNER is a junior news-editorial major and a Daily Nebraskan colum nist I had the opportunity to have my soul saved Friday night. Unfortunately, I was too close to the head of the line at Iguana’s to give up my spot. There I was, freezing my bojimbies off in line, silently cursing the fire mar shal. OK, maybe it wasn’t that silently. The girls who were with me ran into some guy friends of theirs and were cuddling for warmth. Me, being a guy, elected not to cuddle. (No offense, guys, y’all just weren’t my type.) Then, from die back of the line, I heard a booming voice. I turned to see an ordi nary-looking man standing on a con crete bench, Bible clasped firmly in his mittened hand. I couldn’t make out much of what he was saying. All I could tell was that he was trying to rhyme each verse - sort of a Dr. Seuss meets Jerry Falwell. No, maybe it was a Busta Rhymes meets Billy Graham.... I digress. It wasn’t long before the crowd of freezing drunks began to heckle the man. I still couldn’t hear his words, but I could see his lace, and it was not a happy look. This set my mind to wandering. , Well, it was wandering more / than usual. I wondered why he (4, ,; was getting mad. Was he that clueless? Did he honestly expect to get up in front of a group of drunk college stu dents (and one sober columnist), preach about the evils of drink and not expect to be ridiculed? Personally, I’m not a deeply reli gious man. Nor, con trary to popular belief, am I a total jerk- wad. I felt bad for the guy. I felt bad, not for Jb Sure, missionaries have had a tough w' time converting people in the past. Let’s face it, if you’re set in your ways it’s going to be tough to change. That applies to putting sugar in your coffee as well as sacrificing virgins to appease the volcano gods. What were his inten tions? I know that seems obvious, but think it through. Was his goal to get people to get out of line and say, “I have seen the evils of alcohol. Sir, I have heard your words and want to be forgiven. Please, show the one, true path to heaven”? Talk about your tough crowds. Or, was he trying to piss people off? To be fair, I can find no logical reason for it. Then again, I can’t find any logical reason that ^ brunette from my poli sci class f l won’t go to dinner with me. \j As I got closer and closer to the I front of the line, I thought more and j more about the soapbox preacher / behind me. / I was disturbed by the expression f on his face as he absorbed the slings A and arrows of the drunken crowd’s J wit. Granted, most of the shouts were pretty damn dumb. But, there were a few that would’ve made Ned Flanders crack a smile. (My personal favorite was, “Hey man! Turn some water into wine, I’m sobering up out here.”) It brought to mind the faces of the religious “fanatics” I often see in wire photos chanting, “Death to America.” The thought chilled my bones even more than the stiff wind that cut through my cotton shirt. What was his deal? I wanted to ask him if his method had ever worked. I was dying to know if he had i even once convinced someone to get out of line and testify to the evils ofliquor. Some how, I just didn’t see it hap pening. It’s people like that who piss me off. When I was in high school, I worked with such a girl. She was very intelligent and beautiful. I had planned on asking her out sometime. However, I hap pened to mention to a co-worker that I was stopping at a nationwide depart ment store. You would’ve thought I’d said I was going to stop and club a few seals on the way to the book-burning. She preached me up one side and down the other about the evils of that certain chain. It donates money to this, which means it supports that, therefore it is evil. Now, before you start cranking out your letters telling me how boycotts and such work, let me tell you some thing. Don’t preach to me. Ever. Don’t condemn me to Hell I because I buy my boxer I shorts at a store that ^ gives money to a cer- \ tain cause. Don’t throw blood on me because I wear a leather jacket and like to eat meat. And never, ever lump me in with all the slack jawed, testosterone-oozing sexist pigs because I find Sheryl Crow to be attractive without actually knowing what she’s like. Now then, if you do that for me, here’s what I’ll do for you. I won’t beat you over the head with my opinions on abortion, animal rights, vegetarians, gun control, the environ ment, diet colas, the designated hitter or how much wood I think a wood chuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. Deal? Picture of generosity NU Athletic Department s ‘greedy image'proves unfair judgment Editor's note: Each Tuesday this semester, the Daily Nebraskan will print an opinion column from a guest columnist. Each works at the University of Nebraska or is involved with an issue that affects our campus or our students. JAMES GRIESEN is the vice chancellor for student affairs at the University of Nebraska-Lincolru The DN editorial “Share the Wealth” (3/25), reminded me that the student body at any university has an institutional memory of only a few years. So it is understandable that stu dents may not be aware ofhow generous the NU Athletic Department has been, and continues to be, to all enrolled stu dents. Not only is NU among a handful of Division I schools that provide no gen eral university funding and no student fee support for intercollegiate athletics, our entire student population has also benefited greatly from intercollegiate athletic successes. I speak mainly of the Campus Recreation Center that was built between 1987 and 1991 entirely from Athletic Department resources - $14.9 million to be exact. In 1986-87, the indoor facilities available for students to engage in recre ation and fitness activities were deplorable. The Men’s Physical Education Building was basically a large Quonset hut that had been relocat ed to the campus from the Lincoln air base after World War n. The Coliseum was generally an uninviting place. Its swimming pool had been closed by the department ofhealth; the basketball floor was badly in need of replacement and the locker rooms were inadequate and grossly out-of-date. When Bob Devaney and Tom Osborne approached then-Chancellor Martin Massengale that year with a plan to build a new indoor practice facility for football and other intercollegiate sports, Martin challenged diem to build a recreation center to serve all students. Although it meant considerable debt for the Athletic Department, Bob and Tom agreed to take up the chal lenge. While most of the debt has been paid off by now, the Athletic Department still pays $100,000 annual ly for debt service on the Campus Recreation Center. Of die $ 14.9 million expended, only a small portion benefited intercollegiate athletics, which uses intercollegiate vol leyball facilities in the Coliseum and just 25 percent of time available in die Cook Pavilion. Any member of the Campus Recreation Center can use Cook Pavilion during the remaining time, as well as all other center facilities. Because of the Athletic Department’s gift, our general student recreation facilities now rank among the best in the nation. We are constantly hosting visitors horn other schools who want to study our facilities as they plan improvements for their campuses. (A delegation from the University of Oklahoma is visiting this week.) In addition to the Campus Recreation Center, the Athletic Department has donated: ■ $300,000 from spring football game proceeds to the library. ■ a $110,000 rifle range, which h built for intercollegiate, intramural, ROTC and other student uses. ■ about $350,000 annually on uni forms, travel expense and scholarships for the Comhusker marching band and yell squad. Intercollegiate athletes have gener ated more than $185,000 for the general scholarship fund since 1980 through recognition they have received. And the Athletic Department does many other generous deeds throughout the year for the general good of the cam pus. It co-sponsors major speakers, opens its staff development programs to personnel from other departments and builds student recruitment and general NU promotional spots into broadcast ing contracts, to name just a few. If the DN editorial is correct in claiming thru “the Athletic Department has a greedy image around campus,” I suggest that we all should make a sin cere effort to set the record straight Without the generosity of the Athletic Department, students today and for many years to come would be paying about $30 more in student fees each semester to cover debt service on the Campus Recreation Center. They would also find fewer books and jour nals than they need in the library, and the campus would be a less exciting place in general. We should be as proud and appre ciative of the contributions made to our university by our Athletic Department to as we are of the accomplishments of our sports teams. I*:S m ..iL. - Advertising Positions Applications are now being taken for summer and fall sales positions in the advertising department of the Daily Nebraskan. Must be available 15-20 hours per week, be dependable, outgoing, and excited about working with people. Any major is acceptable. We offer commissions based on sales and plenty of sales and creative experience. Slimmer positions begin no later than May 17 and fall positions begin no later than August 2. Orientation will be scheduled in April for those hired. Summer staff do not have to be registered for classes, but must be enrolled in at least six hours during this Spring or the fall semester, maintain a 2.0 minimum G.RA., and not be on academic probation. Applications are available at the Daily Nebraskan advertising office, basement of the Nebraska Union, and must be returned before WEDNESDAY, APRIL 7.