iL/■
JESSICA FLANAGAIN is a
senior English and philoso
phy major and a Daily
Nebraskan columnist
Partisan. Contrary to what the
national media seem to believe, it is
not a four-letter word.
Partisanship is the key to a func
tional America. What about apple pie
and 4th of July parades? Partisanship is
the American wav.
Just envision our government on a
national level if it were converted into
a “nonpartisan” process.
It would be nonsensical. Wacky
even. As wacky as this ridiculous sham
we have here in Nebraska.
Not quite that wacky I guess,
unless of course we just said to hell
with the Senate.
Unicameral structure aside, this
nonpartisan thing we have going on
here in the Comhusker State is a crock.
It’s just a fancy-schmancy, official
sounding term fashioned by politicians
so they can avoid taking a stand on
tough issues.
It’s an elected official’s protection
from accountability.
It may very well be a conspiracy to
increase voter bewilderment.
It’s criminal.
And it’s about to get worse.
There are several bills before the
Nebraska Legislature this session
specifically designed to further this
nonpartisan mumbo-jumbo.
LB96, sponsored by Sens.
Schellpeper (D), Cudaback (R),
Vrtiska (R) and Matzke (R), would
require counties with populations
under 50,000 to eliminate partisanship
in county elections, and counties with
populations over 50,000 would have
the option of removing partisanship by
resolution.
| Lr>z41, sponsored by ben.
Coordsen (R), would require counties
with a population of less than 50,000
to eliminate partisanship in elections.
LB266, sponsored by Senators
Wickersham (D), Chambers (I), Engel
(D), Schellpeper (D) and Vrtiska (R),
would allow those voters registered
without party preference to select a
Republican or Democrat ballot at the
primary election.
I find it rather interesting that all of
the senators sponsoring these bills,
with die exception of Ernie Chambers,
associate themselves with a political
party, even though they are part of this
supposed “nonpartisan” structure.
In fact, all but two of the 49
Nebraska state senators laud them
selves as Democrats or Republicans.
You see,, without that (D) or (R)
behind their name, it is considerably
more difficult to win an election.
Political parties in Nebraska serve
several functions for candidates,
including grass-roots support, mailing
lists, validity through recognition and
endorsement and, of course, campaign
contributions.
It’s fair to say the majority of our
distinguished senators enjoyed the
resources of partisan organizations at
one point in time. It’s fair to say they
were able to establish themselves in
their respective districts because of
their party affiliation.
With the Nebraska nonpartisan
trend the way it is, perhaps some of
these guys can get re-elected, after they
establish themselves a bit, without
party assistance. Hell, maybe they
could have even gotten elected without
party affiliation. But, save two, they
didn’t choose that route.
And guess what? Nothing ever gets
done. Sure, we’re all one big happy
family (under a big tent), but how
about that property tax relief?
Nebraska has an absurd property tax
rate, one of the highest in the Midwest,
and still no action is taken to remedy
this problem. Why? Nobody wants to
rock the proverbial legislative boat
• If LB266 were to pass, there would
be rampant ideological espionage.
Political anarchy, if you will. Sure,
Ernie Chambers doesn’t claim party
affiliation, but nobody is going to mis
take him for a Republican.
Voters could register as indepen
dent even if their opinions lined up
with one of the parties, and sabotage
the party with opposing ideology in the
primary.
Criminal.
If LB96 and/or LB241 were to
pass, what do you imagine would be
accomplished? More effective govern
ment? Honest politicians? Oh no.
Try less-informed voters.
With party affiliation on the ballot,
lazy voters can at least make a guess. If
they’re all about increased government
funding for education, vote Democrat.
If smaller government is their bag, they
know to go Republican.
What in the blazes are they think
ing over there? Without party affilia
tion it’ll be like pin the tail on the don
key. Hey friends, just close your eyes
and hope you’re close enough!
Sure, voters could research the
candidates, and I’m soooo sure that
will magically begin to happen when
partisan lines are erased.
Nebraskans, Americans for that
matter, elect on a partisan basis for a
good reason. We elect on a partisan
basis because we want our elected offi
cials to stand for something.
We elect on a partisan basis
because candidates’ ideologies are
similar to our own. We elect on a parti
san basis because we want to know
how they will vote on Ibe big issues.
We elect on a partisan basis because
we want elected officials to be
accountable.
Ifnottheparty structure, who will
hold these wise guys to their word?
Constituencies? Voters who don’t even
take the time to research the candidates
are going to track voting records and
campaign promises? I bet
How about lobbyists? Special
interest groups? You bet your ass.
Money talks, folks.
We need parties to provide
accountability. To affiliate with a party,
a candidate must subscribe to a plat
form. They have to take a stand.
Then fee parties track campaign
promises and check them against vot
ing records. If an official strays, in
kicks fee accountability function.
Eliminating partisanship does
away wife inter-unicameral checks and
balances.
It allows checkbooks to flagrantly
corrupt.
It permits candidates who stand for
nothing except their own interests to
masquerade as public servants.
Blast fee fence-riders.
Take a stand. Let out a cry for par
tisanship. Demand that your state sena
tor stand for something.
I left my toilet in San Francisco
Distinctions between time, space disappear
MARK BALDRIDGE is a
senior English major and
a Daily Nebraskan colum
nist
Monday, February 22,1999
I woke up early this morning to
discover my bathroom had been mag
ically transported to San Francisco. I
don’t know what made it San
Francisco - the angle of light leaning
in at the window, a light tarnished, fil
tered through cloud layers like a dirty
skylight.
But as I stood, swallowing my
daily pill, noting the nightly deterio
ration of my features in the little mir
ror over the sink, I knew it was SF
and not NE.
This is not the first bathroom I’ve
seen transported. Once, in a little
shared bath off a tiny apartment over
on F street, I looked up to find the
bathroom was now in Mexico - shad
ows of clouds crossing in die door
way.
But as I splashed cold water on
my face and hands this Monday
morning, and as I toweled them dry, I
happened to look out the window to
see the snow coming down.
I went back to bed - it was not
San Francisco.
My penguin makes threatening
noises in Korean and fires off a round
of shotgun Masts. Then the fanfare
plays and, unless you press down on
his little hat, the whole thing starts up
again. The clock in his belly says
8:00.1 have missed my first class.
Somehow I must’ve reset the little
fellow and now I don’t have to be
anywhere until 11:30.1 pull the bed
sheet over my head to block the full
daylight blizzard blight and curl up
on the couch.
The bathroom is still in San
Francisco. I keep telling myself this;
as I scrub, sitting in three inches of
1 hot water, with a hemp bag full of
“tea tree oil” soap; as I rinse that off
with Dr. Bronner’s peppermint soap
(scabies teaches us that cleanliness is
next to impossible - go all out); as I
read, again, the vaguely Masonic
admonitions printed on the bottle
(“As Rabbi Hillel taught Christ 6000
year old Moral ABCs...”) I keep
repeating it, like a mantra: “It’s just a
chilly day in San Francisco.”
I try this out on a stranger as we
wait by the street for the bus: a mis
take. Microscopic snowflakes float
everywhere. I inhale and feel cold
inside.
“I keep telling myself I’m in San
Francisco,” I say, sidling up and lead
ing against the sign. He only grins at
me, quizzically.
“But it’s not working,” I say.
It never works.
I’m in my classroom an hour
I early. Still groggy, I do not recognize
this fact until a strange teacher takes
the podium. I look at the clock on the
wall, ask the stranger next to me if
that, indeed, is the correct time. She
says it is, and I ask her to have me
paged - but I don’t have a pager, and
she seems unwilling to loan me hers
(I assume she has one) so I face the
long, ignominious walk under the
curious gaze of the prof and 150 soci
ology students.
I got one thing out of the experi
ence, anyway: Propinquity.
The overhead projector had dis
played a list of terms when I sat
down, only one of which I didn’t rec
ognize: Propinquity.
With an hour to kill I settle ill the
periodicals room at Love Library to
collect my thoughts behind a
propped-up copy of “Stem.”
Propinquity, propinquity, propin
quity” drips in my head like a faucet
At the front desk they loan me a
tattered Miriam Webster.
1 Propinquity: nearness in time or
place, kinship.
Is there a secret kinship between
places, between times? Between my
bathroom on 13th street and some
spot in San Francisco - perhaps
someone else’s bathroom? I offer this
only as a suggestion and really, the
physics of it are beyond me.
But isn’t it possible the two places
are connected?
I leave it to the science fiction
writers to get us from here to there
without having to
move
all our picture frames, etc.
It’s almost time for me to go to
class for real, but I crouch at a little
study table in the periodical room,
scribbling this all down longhand,
something I haven’t done in years.
I think I’m coming down with
something. I want to go home and
take a nap.
And I can’t help but wondering, —
as I languish here in plain old
Lincoln, where is my bathroom off to
now?
Deb Lee/DN
