Image provided by: University of Nebraska-Lincoln Libraries, Lincoln, NE
About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (Nov. 30, 1998)
Weapon wonderland Kick off the holidays by buying guns for loved ones E^ter rt «h > Sttrttaa «--— Get Mom a little chrome .25 semi automatic. As the person who brought you into this world, she ’ll be touched when you give her the means to take you out of it. It’s also very fashionable and can be worn . with just about anything." AX. FORKNER is a junior news-editorial major and a Daily Nebraskan colum nist, Well, the holidays are upon us again. Time to rejoice in the year that has been. Time to spend time with friends and family. lime to remem ber die ones we love. Time to lock and load. Yes, friends, tomorrow is the first day of December - the busiest time of the year for shopping. It’s also the busiest month of the year for gun buyers. Yes, holiday gun-buying season has begun. Some find it odd that December is the busiest gun-buying month. I think it makes perfect sense. After all, nothing says “Merry Christmas” like firepower. In fact, I’m pitching a card idea to Hallmark to tap into this vast base of consumers. “During this joyous time of the year, we just want to wish you and yours a happy holiday. You are the hollow-points in the high-capacity magazine that is ourlieart.” Besides, guns make the perfect gift. They’re highly decorative yet practical. And there is a huge selec tion to choose from. Handguns, shot guns, rifles, assault weapons and military hardware. Plus, fireanns are good for all ages. There’s nothing like seeing the joy on litde Billy’s face as he unwraps a 30.04 Remington XL 700 with a 10 power scope. , DebLee/DN It’s truly a Kodak moment - as is die flood of nostalgia your grandpar ents will feel when they open die his and hers matching Colt Single Action Army revolvers. By giving a gun, you’re saying that you trust this person with the means to kill you. That’s love. That’s wiiy, guys, you should get your beloved lady a Smith & Wesson LadySmith revolver. Unless you’re sleeping with her roommate. Then you might be better off getting her flowers. Ladies, if your boyfriend just gets you some flowers, he’s sleeping with your roommate. Go buy your own LadySmith. The gift of firearms also shows that you care for this person enough to worry about their safety. • What about the gift of pepper spray? That’s more of an “I like you” gift. A gun is an “I love you” gift. But guns aren’t just for your sig nificant others. They’re good gifts for the whole family. Get Mom a litde chrome .25 semi-automatic. As the person who brought you into this world, she’ll be touched when you give her the means to take you out of it. It’s also very fashionable and can be worn with just about anything. Dad would love a sharp little Ruger 10/22 .22 semi-auto rifle. It’s a great litde varmint gun, and comes with several different species of wood stocks. «... . Besides, can you think of a better way for males to bond than by killing small animals? I know I sure can't Grandma is a little more difficult to buy for. She’s got discerning tastes at her age. You can’t just get her any old Saturday Night Special. No, Nana deserves die very best. I’m thinking a Beretta over-under shotgun. It’s imported. It’s hand crafted. And Granny will know that you think enough of her to buy die best. However, if Granny requires more than two shots, a Benelli semi auto is a quality piece. It also comes with many accessories to convert it into an assault shotgun. See, you’re thinking practical, and Grandma will appreciate that. Grandpa, on the other hand, is much easier. Get him a reminder of his service days. For WWII vets, a slab-sided Colt .45 is the ticket If he’s a Korean vet, than an M-14 car bine is the only way to go. Brothers and sisters? Consid ering that you’ll be competing against them for the inheritance someday, the advantage of knowing what they carry might be just enough to save your butt. Buy them small-caliber pistols with little capacity. Sure, some naysayers to firearm fun will point to the increasingly vio lent society we live in. But see, that’s why the firearm makes the perfect gift. (Maybe it’s just me, but most of the shootings we hear about involve B stolen guns ^: Tj or black market firearms. Rarely do we hear about a shooting com mitted with a birthday gift. Coincidence?) While guns make great Christ-mas presents, don’t forget that graduation is also coming up in December for some. That’s more of an occasion for gun accessories. For example, a high-grade leather shoulder holster, preferably one that matches his or her briefcase, is a elegant yet practical gift If you’re looking for something a little more exotic, try shopping at the Kramer handgun leather company’s Web site. From their Exotica collec tion, you can choose from sharkskin, whipsnake, python and ostrich skin holsters at http://www.krcunerleather. com. Birthdays are good times for the practical firearm gifts. Boxes of ammunition, spare magazines mid tritium night sights me always wel come. But for the biggie, Christmas, firearms are the only way go. Besides, it ernes the burden on Santa Claus. He doesn’t have to check the list so often. Uncle Sam will be making the list and checking it twice. ; “ATF knows when you’re sleep ing. Janet Reno knows when you’re awake. Sarah Brady knows if you’re bad or good, so be good, for good ness* sake.” V ic or PC I m€S (40 ajsufote, curriculum vitae written i printed while you watch. Term I papers, theses, dissertations edited, Ho formatted & laser printed. Your choice (40 of MLA, APA, AP or Chicago styles, iroi Low rates, high quality, fast work. Se • .. Yhm*nof«typfan*»cnrtc«t [ ' - ; f „ ■ Relax, it’s only your future we’re talking about. With 60 years of proven success getting students into the schools of their choice, we’re the chosen leader in test prep. Just ask anyone who’s taken Kaplan. They can easily be found at a grad school near you. Class Start Dates GMAT: 1/13 liWiUMillLP Call and LSAT: 1/5 ^PBPP^ enroll today! MCAT:1/23 1-800-KAP-TEST www.lcaplan.com *Test names are roistered trademarks of their respective owners.
