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About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (Nov. 30, 1998)
Kick off the holidays by buying guns for loved ones
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Get Mom a little chrome .25 semi
automatic. As the person who brought you
into this world, she ’ll be touched when you
give her the means to take you out of it.
It’s also very fashionable and can be worn .
with just about anything."
AX. FORKNER is a junior
news-editorial major and
a Daily Nebraskan colum
Well, the holidays are upon us
Time to rejoice in the year that
has been. Time to spend time with
friends and family. lime to remem
ber die ones we love.
Time to lock and load.
Yes, friends, tomorrow is the first
day of December - the busiest time
of the year for shopping. It’s also the
busiest month of the year for gun
Yes, holiday gun-buying season
Some find it odd that December
is the busiest gun-buying month. I
think it makes perfect sense.
After all, nothing says “Merry
Christmas” like firepower.
In fact, I’m pitching a card idea
to Hallmark to tap into this vast base
“During this joyous time of the
year, we just want to wish you and
yours a happy holiday. You are the
hollow-points in the high-capacity
magazine that is ourlieart.”
Besides, guns make the perfect
gift. They’re highly decorative yet
practical. And there is a huge selec
tion to choose from. Handguns, shot
guns, rifles, assault weapons and
Plus, fireanns are good for all
There’s nothing like seeing the
joy on litde Billy’s face as he
unwraps a 30.04
700 with a 10
It’s truly a Kodak moment - as is
die flood of nostalgia your grandpar
ents will feel when they open die his
and hers matching Colt Single
Action Army revolvers.
By giving a gun, you’re saying
that you trust this person with the
means to kill you. That’s love.
That’s wiiy, guys, you should get
your beloved lady a Smith & Wesson
LadySmith revolver. Unless you’re
sleeping with her roommate. Then
you might be better off getting her
Ladies, if your boyfriend just
gets you some flowers, he’s sleeping
with your roommate. Go buy your
The gift of firearms also shows
that you care for this person enough
to worry about their safety.
• What about the gift of pepper
spray? That’s more of an “I like you”
A gun is an “I love you” gift.
But guns aren’t just for your sig
nificant others. They’re good gifts
for the whole family.
Get Mom a litde chrome .25
semi-automatic. As the person who
brought you into this world, she’ll be
touched when you give her the
means to take you out of it.
It’s also very fashionable and can
be worn with just about anything.
Dad would love a sharp little
Ruger 10/22 .22 semi-auto rifle. It’s
a great litde varmint gun, and comes
with several different species of
Besides, can you think of a better
way for males to bond than by killing
small animals? I know I sure can't
Grandma is a little more difficult
to buy for. She’s got discerning tastes
at her age. You can’t just get her any
old Saturday Night Special. No,
Nana deserves die very best.
I’m thinking a Beretta over-under
shotgun. It’s imported. It’s hand
crafted. And Granny will know that
you think enough of her to buy die
However, if Granny requires
more than two shots, a Benelli semi
auto is a quality piece. It also comes
with many accessories to convert it
into an assault shotgun. See, you’re
thinking practical, and Grandma will
Grandpa, on the other hand, is
much easier. Get him a reminder of
his service days. For WWII vets, a
slab-sided Colt .45 is the ticket If
he’s a Korean vet, than an M-14 car
bine is the only way to go.
Brothers and sisters? Consid
ering that you’ll be competing
against them for the inheritance
someday, the advantage of knowing
what they carry might be just enough
to save your butt.
Buy them small-caliber pistols
with little capacity.
Sure, some naysayers to firearm
fun will point to the increasingly vio
lent society we live in. But see, that’s
why the firearm makes the perfect
(Maybe it’s just me, but most of
the shootings we hear about involve
B stolen guns
or black market
firearms. Rarely do we
hear about a shooting com
mitted with a birthday gift.
While guns make great
Christ-mas presents, don’t forget
that graduation is also coming up in
December for some. That’s more of
an occasion for gun accessories.
For example, a high-grade
leather shoulder holster, preferably
one that matches his or her briefcase,
is a elegant yet practical gift
If you’re looking for something a
little more exotic, try shopping at the
Kramer handgun leather company’s
Web site. From their Exotica collec
tion, you can choose from sharkskin,
whipsnake, python and ostrich skin
holsters at http://www.krcunerleather.
Birthdays are good times for the
practical firearm gifts. Boxes of
ammunition, spare magazines mid
tritium night sights me always wel
But for the biggie, Christmas,
firearms are the only way go.
Besides, it ernes the burden on
Santa Claus. He doesn’t have to
check the list so often. Uncle Sam
will be making the list and checking
it twice. ;
“ATF knows when you’re sleep
ing. Janet Reno knows when you’re
awake. Sarah Brady knows if you’re
bad or good, so be good, for good
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