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Home for the holidays
Bad gifts for Mom, decorating chaos for Dad worth remembering
KASEY KERBER is a senior
news-editorial major and the
Daily Nebraskan assignment
editor.
Ah, I remember the holidays.
Dad burning wrapping paper in the
fireplace ... Mom yelling at him as the liv
ing room filled with colorful smoke ... and
our dog getting drunk off the entire tin of
liquor chocolates it managed to eat during
the commotion.
Yes, the holidays hold a special place in
my heart. t
And with my family, it’s a surprise I
don’t have a heart attack each and every
year.
it s not that my family is that unusual.
After all, my dad has covered an entire wall
of our house with antique fishing tackle,
my mom collects Pez dispensers, and my
sister recently appeared in a swimsuit cal
endar.
OK, so my family is not exactly as
American as tater tots, but we still manage
to have a good time during the holiday sea
son.
Take for example Dad’s annual tradi
tion of putting up die Christmas lights.
Now keep in mind that my house lies
deep in a wooded lot and is not really visi
ble from the street
But don’t tell my old man that He
wants our Florida home to be visible from
Kansas.
And with a multitude of lights pur
chased from every garage sale on the
Eastern seaboard, he manages to get pretty
dang close.
A tree? Put lights on it
A porch? Add lights.
A wreath? Wrap it up in lights.
And a car? Well, let’s just say you
become the life of the party when you drive
to your destination decked out in 356
“twinkle twilight long-lasting low-glows.”
But lights are only one aspect of what
makes Christmas with the Keibers a
humorously scarring experience.
There’s also the Christmas tree.
Once upon a time, we had a live tree.
Then our dog ate three branches of it and
had Pine Sol breath for the next two years.
Now we have an artificial tree, which
we take out of the garage annually after
Thanksgiving.
And whoever constructed this fake
wonder had far too much fun with Legos as
a child.
Why do 1 say that/ Because there are
more than 100 pieces that intricately fit
together, mocking any family member who
dares to look at the tattered instructions.
I prefer the live tree, really. All you do is
hit it with an ax, strap it on top of the car,
watch it fall onto the highway 30 minutes
later, and curse your lack of memory of
Boy Scout slipknots.
But until the day we lose the fake tree’s
instructions, I am doomed to play “connect
the limbs.”
And last but not least, there are holiday
gifts. My dad has the worst luck finding
gifts for my mom.
I remember quite well the year he
struck out with the gifts he gave her.
Now usually, you want to give the
woman you’ve been married to for two
decades some meaningful, thoughtful gifts.
Or at least some jewelry, clothing or per
fume.
Poor Dad. He needed a gift adviser that
year about as much as Clinton needs at
least a dozen lawyers.
His first few gifts weren’t that bad -
ornaments, carvings, that kind of thing.
Then came the final two gifts, which he
had put aside for Mom to open last
The first was an oar with Santa Claus’
face carved onto it
“What am I supposed to do with this?”
Mom asked. “Hang it from the tree?”
She then moved onto the final gift
Layer upon layer of gift wrap was tom
until she reached a box. Opening the lid,
she discovered... a giant hippopotamus
cookie jar.
The look on Mom’s face Mien she
opened that one was bewilderment She
looked a little like a child Mio the ice
cream truck just blazed past at 55 mph.
The look on Dad’s face simply commu
nicated: ‘Tick up the Santa oar, son, and
kill me. Please. Just kill me.”
Now Dad lets us help him with Mom’s
gifts.
i ne mppojar, meanwnne, grins ridicu
lously at us each morning on top of the
refrigerator. There are no cookies in it,
however. No one was exactly enthused by
the idea of pulling off the hippo butt lid just
to get a pecan sandie.
This year, I’ll once again fly back to
Florida for Christmas with my family.
FU once again deal with a dad who puts
up enough lights to start a new wave of
Florida brush fires.
And I’ll once again watch Mom open
gifts, crossing her fingers with every one.
I might even spend a little time wife my
sis, who will give me a list of“fashionable”
apparel items I can purchase only after
being heckled by 20 grinning salespeople.
But, strange as the holidays will be
or how bizarre my family might seem - I’ll
love them all the same.
66
The look on Dad s face simply
communicated: 4Pickup
the Santa oar, son, and kill me.
Please. Just kill me! ”
Deb Lee/DN
Holiday bus tours brighten
season with views of lights
By Sandi Alswager
Staff writer
When the weather outside is
frightful, the lights will be delightful
thanks to Lincoln’s Sixth Annual
Holiday Light Tours.
This year, the tours will once
again offer riders a view of holiday
lights throughout the city.
The holiday season opener kicks
off Dec. 9, and tours also run Dec.
11,15,18 and 22.
The tour is an annual tradition
for many local families, said
StarTran Transit Manager Larry
Worth.
People who do this don t want
to search the lights out,” he said. “It
is a sampling of the lights in
Lincoln, and it’s a good time to see
many of the lights, kick back, relax
and check it out.”
Twenty StarTran buses, each
holding about 30 people, will tour
the city’s best lights. About 600 tick
ets are sold each evening.
Buses load at 6:30 p.m. at Gold’s
Galleria on 11th and N streets. Buses
leave at 7 p.m.
Worth said the route has changed
every year.
“We try to find concentrations of
lights around town,” Worth said.
» »v Each tour lasts'two hdurs. PQlicc,
k lV ^escort *h» 20 buses* through traffic
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signals, so they don’t have to wait.
Marian Price, of Lincoln, who
was elected to the state legislature in
the November election, has gone on
all of the tours except for one.
She said the Holiday Light Tours
are a tradition for her and her grand
daughters Amanda Godemann, 12,
and Christal Godemann, 16.
“It is done on the responsible
StarTran system, and people get the
opportunity to see beautiflil displays
by others who want to share their tal
ents with others,” Price said.
rnce said the tours offer a great
show of lights in the city, and more
residents want to become involved.
She added that the Holiday Light
Tours were special for Lincoln,
because citizens work so hard to put
up decorations for others to enjoy.
“This is a great way to spend a
chilly evening,” she said. “It’s a start,
of the holidays for me. Every year I
can hardly wait until next year’s tour.
It is a very precious gift we are
receiving ”
Tour narration highlighting the
historical aspects of the tour will be
provided by Ed Zimmer, city-county
historic preservation planner.
Holiday music will be provided
by KZUM-FM (89.3).
Tickets went on sale at 8 a.m.
Nov. 16 at StarTran,
i ly, sell out in a day.
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Big Red paraphernalia scores
with fans this holiday season
■ In fact, it’s possible to
fill a whole closet this
Christmas with nothing
but Comhusker gear.
By Tasha E. Kei.ter
Staff writer
A Big Red toothbrush holder. A
Big Red shower curtain. A Big Red
soap dish. Big Red toilet paper.
(Go Big Red! And don’t forget
to flush.)
This Christmas promises to be a
merry one for Big Red fans and
fanatics.
This season, fanatics can deco
rate their kitchens with Husker
ceramics, their bathrooms with
Husker accessories and their dogs
with Husker apparel.
Cat clothes are available, too, as
well as Husker sweatshirts, T-shirts,
hats and jerseys for the whole fami
ly
In fact, it’s possible to fill a
whole closet this Christmas with
nothing but Cornhhsker gear and to
fill a whole living room with only ^
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Stores catering to Comhuskers
in the Lincoln and Omaha areas can
accommodate even the most cre
ative gift seekers.
Husker Hounds in Omaha, for
example, sells the entire bed, bath
and kitchen collection. Big Red
bathroom accessories are white
ceramic with the red “N” logo on
them.
Kitchen accessories include Big
Red spoon rests, mixing bowls and
even popcorn bowls for watching
Nebraska play the Big 12 champi
onship - next year.
Ana oi course, mere s me om
cial toilet papier, lettered with “Go
Big Red, fcio Huskers, Go
Nebraska” on each square. For
$4.95, a Husker can’t buy anything
much weirder than that.
> Husker shoppers with fat pock
etbooks can decorate their living
rooms with a $400 red or black
recliner featuring the Husker logo
or a red bar stool with a back - both
from Husker Hounds. The
University Bookstore sells a red
leather ottoman.
For the stocking stuffer crowd,
the main attraction this year is a
“Silly Slammer” - a plush, hand
Nebraska foqlbaUhebnetthat
Hu^fewTight song
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when squeezed or slammed on the
floor once. Squeeze or slam it twice
and prepare for a rousing cheer of
“Go Big Red!”
Betty Dykes of Husker Heaven
in Omaha says the $6.99 helmets
are the hottest-selling items she’s
seen in awhile. > -
“That’s about the funnest thing
we’ve had in a long time,” she said.
“They’re selling like hot cakes.”
Husker faithful pet owners can
festoon their pets with NU jerseys,
sweatshirts and hats from Husker
Hounds, as well as Big Red leashes
and collars from the University
Bookstore.
And, as Lynn Letscne ot Husker
Hounds reminds, there’s the usual
assortment of foam corn heads,
people clothes, autographed hel
mets and footballs, Big Red barn
shaped birdhouses, a helmet
shaped telephone (at the University
Bookstore for about $200) and
Husker pasta.
Husker pasta?
“Husker pasta,” Letsche con
firms. “Most of the pasta is just yel
low, but here and there there’s a lit
tle zed ‘N’ mixed in. That sells real
ly well.”
L Doesn’t -everything with a' big
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