-T~ «/
Friday the 13th brings out a weekend’s worst
AX. FORKNER is a junior
news-editorial major and a
Daily Nebraskan columnist
“If it weren’t fer bad luck, Id
have no luck at all. Deep dark
depression, excessive misery." - Hee
Haw
As if Friday the 13th weren’t
enough, a black cat crossed my path
as I walked under a ladder.
And I wasn’t wearing clean
underwear.
(Point of clarification: My
Donald Duck boxers were clean until
I smacked the mirror repair truck.)
Needless to say, I was a tad
unlucky this weekend.
Yeah, and Big 12 refs were a tad
nearsighted.
50, against the advice or my ther
apist, let’s take a stumble down
fizzy-memory lane.
Friday the 13th: It started out
when my roommate failed to tell me
the hot water heater was broken.
However, my shrieking from the
shower seemed to jog his memory.
While waiting for certain body
parts to redescend, I realized I was
going to be late for class.
It was in my haste that I took out
the Harmon Glass truck. What the
hell he was doing on the sidewalk,
I’ll never figure out. By the way,
what is seven years times 56 mirrors
anyway?
Then I decided I’d be better off
riding out the storm at home.
Little did I know, but my room
mate was holding a meeting of the
Regional Am way Distributing,
Jehovah’s Witnessing, Insurance
Selling, Outlaw Biker Chemical
Engineers against bathing club.
Sioux City division. ' C
On top of all that the oable was
out. It
Out - except for QVC.
QVC during porcelain fig- Jjj
urineday. '"m
Porcelain figurines of Andy
Rooney.
Depicting various scenes
from Leave it to Beaver.
Next up: The Delta Burke
Collection.
After rappelling down from |
my balcony, I hauled ass to the J
nearest theater.
In my quest to be alone, I
asked for a ticket to the emptiest f
show they had. I really need to
learn to watch my mouth. 1
The error of my ways
became painiuny obvious when
“Beloved” started. I tried to
escape, but the doors were
stuck shut from built-up Diet
Coke and used Kleenex.
It is an Oprah film, you
know.
There I witnessed the most
frightening thing Pve seen
since Ron Kirtenboch on a
triple espresso.
Oprah in a sex scene.
AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
HH!
Saturday the 14th: I was
freed from the theater around
noon. Theater management fig
ured that I had spent the equiva
lent of 6Vi showings in there.
Naturally, they charged me
for it. But I hear that tripled
weekend revenues for the film.
You’re welcome, Oprah.
Thank goodness the opinion
editorial party was that night.
God knows I needed a drink.
(Which I didn’t get. I was dri
ving. Talk about your poor plan
ning.)
When I got there (after one
wrong building and two wrong
apartments) I found that one colum
nist lad brought 13 of his
groupies. Things started to get really
ugly when one got her bee-hive hair
do caught in the ceiling fan.
As she spun aipupdl her stiletto
P*': r
Lee/DN
, ,-f heels hit,..
w® oneofthe/m?
bottles of Jack
Daniels at the party,
sending it flying directly
at yours truly.
And I don’t even like
JD.
Some of it got spilled bn a
columnist who accused me of trying
? tp set her onfiT
I wasjitft
dpmk, not ’
jus^don’t uhdbrstand. j >■
creepy when the Philosophical
Columnist began hallucinating after
playing video games.
“No, don’t shoot him. No. Hoop
scoop da poop. Hey man, there are
places here.”
When the fight broke out
between Col. GOP and The One
Democrat Female Clinton Hasn’t Hit
On, I thought it might be time to go.
Good thing I didn’t.
I still had yet to witness the Chief
squirming along the floor like a
worm because his limbs wouldn’t
work.
{upiruun euuurs note: uammu,
those legs of mine had gone gelati
nous by that point, and I’m standing,
or rather crawling, by that theory!)
Finally, there was the Mellow
Columnist who was utterly fascinat
ed by CD covers. “Whoa, pretty col
ors man,” which took him approxi
mately fifteen minutes to say.
Seriously. :
I casually sloped out and made
my way home. The party there |>ad
broken up. Unfortunately* rny collec
tion of Sad Elvis Clowns had also
been broken up.
Sunday: Screw you. I’m staying
in bed and watching “Friends”
videos all day.
What the ... All right, who the
hell taped over my “Friends” videos?
Aw no... It can’t be ... It’s not. It
feveryone Loves You. ExceptThat^1 —
Grad Student Over There. He Loves
Everyone.”
“Gloom, despair and agony on
me."
'£*. S#A.#
Public perception of Palestinians riddled with misinformation
CLIFF HICKS is a senior
news-editorial and English
major and the Daily
Nebraskan opinion editor.
What was originally supposed to be
a discussion about the movie “The
Siege” rapidly advanced into a lesson
on Palestine history when I spoke with
my Palestinian friend last week.
See, I have a very close friend,
whom we’ll call “Bela Isim,” who has
spent the majority of his summers in
Israel. Tins hasn’t been easy for hiny
though, because he’s, well, Palestinian.
Over fee past few years, we have slow
ly begun to see recognition of
Palestine, though not as an independent
state yet
According to the 1997 World
Almanac, it was AX). 636 when the
Arabs invaded and conquered
Palestine, which had existed long
before. But things start, for my ptnpos
es anyway, in 1948. In 1948, Bhtam
and France moved out of Palestine, dis
pelled the country, forced Palestinians
into exile and crated Israel for the
Jewish people of the world.
Here’s where my opinions start get
ting into trouble.
The Palestinians had their country
destroyed, had hundreds of villages lev
eled and were turned into a nomadic
people by the British.
“For as long as there were maps,”
Bela Isim told me, “there was
Palestine.”
A country that had existed in one
state or another for over a thousand
years was broken down and tom asun
der by countries who had no real
authority other than “might makes
right”
In its place, another country was
erected: Israel.
Israel has existed less than peace
ably during its 50 years. It has been in
arguments with all of itsneighbors.
Its harsh tactics when dealing with
Palestinians caused die formation of
the Palestine Liberation Organization,
which is led by a revolutionary who is
more well-known than most Yasser
Arafat
The PLO has fought for many
years to re-establish the country of
PalestineL It wasn’t until recently that
they began to get a real foothold on
reestaMishmenfc The Palestinians aren’t
allowed to call it a “state” - it is merely
an “entity” withinlsrael.
Which leads me back to “The
SicgG**
1 went and saw this film with little
history cm theconfUct,andao Headed
to perceive k with die same wide eyes
as most moviegoers. For those of you
unfamiliar with die movie, the premise
is that terrorists start to cause panic m
New York by blowing up people. First
it% a bus, then more.
Under panic and the demand of the
people of New York, martial law is
declared, and the army moves in. They
round up all Arab males aged 13 and
older.
The abuse of Arabs gets only worse
from there.
A couple of things really stood out
about the movie, which is why Bela
Isim and I had our talk. The first was
that the terrorists were portrayed as
Palestinians. They wore the traditional
white-and-black-checked scarves of
the Palestinian people.
I asked Bela Isim about it, because
terrorism as a concept has always dis
turbed me, as I think it has most
Americans. This is what he told me:
“Having the U.S. act as a sort of
police in our country is going to cause
hostility. I think it’s a reaction to that
(Terrorism) certainly shouldn’t be the
first option, and it necessarily isn’t the
oest option, it s a lashing out. 1 he
object is to make them feel raped and
s we dp,” he said “TJutgpes
fori
Arabia/
ed to make sense tome. I mean, Id
always really known deep down why
terrorists hit the public -1 think I just
didnXwant to admit it to myseUllie
problem is that the military is too heav~
ily guarded Like in guerrilla warfare,
you hit what you can get at, because
opportunities can be very rare.
Another thing that bothered me
about the movie was feat the FBI
detains a man for having money hidden
in the bottom of his suitcase. He says
this money is a dowry. The FBI finds
this suspicious.
Bela Isim assured me that dowries
are still very common among Arab cul
ture.
“It’s the same as when an American
gives his daughter or son a wedding
present It’s to help them get started in
their new life.”
So, as a concept, carrying a dowry
into a country isn’t that unbelievable.
As for it being hidden, Bela Isim told
me stories of carrying his money con
cealed on or in all sorts of things,
because he was afraid of corrupt secu
rity forces detaining him and “acquir
ing” some of that money.
The parallels he and I drew
between the FBI and the Mukhabarat
Arab security forces were a little more
eerie than I was personally prepared
for
He told me the man detained in the
movie “used the word Mukhabarat to
describe die security forces following
him. But that word doesn’t really mean
internal security. Where we come from,
Mukhabarat are spies, people watching
their neighbors, people who can’t be
trusted. They don’t have to live by the
same rules as the rest of us. If you’re
not afraid of the Mukhabajat^ypu dpo’t
know what they are br ^ou art ilbbl.”
It’s finny, but that’s often how I !
kind of pictUtetheFHL
Now, I have a great dealof respect
for FBI agents and most of the work
they do.
But people leave from foreign
countries to come to a piaoe they
believe is safer, with less abuse of
power, fewer problems, less secret
police aad more freedom. And what we
offer them isn’t always what they’re
expecting. Maybe this is an example of
the FBI being portrayed unrealistically
for movie license, or maybe we need to
keep a closer eye on what America’s
quiet guards are doing.
Bela Isim also made a very good
point that stuck with me long past our
conversation.
“If the writer had called for a group
of Jewish terrorists, let’s say they were
unhappy with die United Stated “aid”
of the peace process, this movie would
never have been made. The film would
have been shut down before Denzel
Washington and Bruce Willis even
heard of it”
There still isn’t a lead Arab actor I
can name off the top of my head. The
same is true for Asian actors as well
(not including those horn Hong Kong).
Hollywood still hasn’t really begun to
reflect what the rest of the world does.
And die peace process and conflict
between Palestine and Israel is far from
over.
Dcm imjii luiu me 11 wouiu uc mtc
to have peaceful coexistence, but that
means they still live on our lands.”
Itls not a problem that ;s going to go
away, and films like “The Siege” that
use thoughtless stereotypes aren’t
a^a^|dlra^thej*^y^5has
starting to moving towards an eventual
resolution of some sort.
My friend did ask, however, that he
get the last word here.
“Peace be upon you and the mercy
of Allah and his blessings.”
“Beta bim” mams «without
name,” and we spoke under condition
of anonymity so that he would not suf
fer repercussions from his comments.
So, my thanks to him, my good friend,
for spending so much time in getting
this column well-based. His assistance
was invaluable.