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About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (Nov. 2, 1998)
> ' • ___ - • A smart-ass commentary l life, love, classes and Steve McQueen junior news-editorial major and a Daily Nebraskan colum nist Greetings, gang. It’s your friend ly neighborhood columnist again. And I’m one stressed puppy. See, I’ve been registering for classes for next semester. Personally, I think it’s way too early for registration. But the admin istration assures me that it really is time. And, like many of you, I’m hav ing a hard time selecting which classes to take. I’m getting sorta close to the end here. So I want something that I can pass with mini mal effort. Well, after countless hours (OK, it was 20 minutes) of studying the class schedule, I finally filled my semester. as 1 sat there massaging reeling back into my NRoll-numbed fingers I had a great idea. Wouldn’t it be great if someone assembled a list of the easiest classes available? Besides, it has to make a more interesting column than listening to me bitch about being single. Doesn’t it? (Editor s note: Anything does.) Hmm, where to begin? I guess most of us have an English requirement to meet. Let’s start there. English 213, Twit Lit. This class covers all of the clas sics, from Dr. Seuss to pop-up ‘books. , This semester should be really exciting. I’ve been told that Waldo from the “Where’s Waldo” books will be guest lecturing. If they can find him.. Foreign language classes can be TIM SULLIVAN is a third year law student and a Daily Nebraskan colum nist, i Something odd happened in the fall of 1993, and again about two weeks ago, but before I tell you what happened, you need a little background info: he yfiffldPgB) zi ii bne t3i3ii sib uoy ydw V* EUfTTIjB fTR . ejj ► If all stalled on the morning of August 25, 1993. It was a Monday morning I recall vividly. Fue el dia en que yo comence a aprender esparto!. (It was the day I started to learn Spanish. Now, I may have just slaugh tered that translation horribly, but oniy my former Spanish teachers and I know'for sure, right?) At 7:30 that morning, I walked into the classroom on the northwest comer tYt MtltMMMtHlIlt ' » « / M I tough. So to ease the stress factor here’s a nice light class. >*' Spanish 180, Cervezas and Margaritas. I found this class to be invaluable - in preparation for my trip to Key West It’s an intense study in the vari ous methods for ordering cervezas (beers) and margaritas (duh) in Spanish. » The lab is particularly stimulat ing. There is a minor lab fee though - $15 for a Jimmy Buffett Greatest Hits CD. Computer Sciences 410/810, False Identifications. Cross-listed as a graduate level course, this lab course teaches prac tical uses for scanners, color printers and laminators. A favorite of sophomores, this class fills up quickly. Unfortunately, this is the last semester the course will be available. The department recently suffered a shortage of qualified TAs. Not to mention the loss of prime laboratory space. inoi to worry muugn, mere win be new, and exciting courses to fill the empty chasm. Classes like... Health 450, Alcohol Tolerance. We’ve all heard that binge drink ing a growing problem in college.— This new class is being offered to try to combat this malady. Students will learn to hold their booze and build up an alcohol toler ance. This class is great for begin ners. It starts out with light beers and wine coolers, then works up to ille gal shots and grain alcohol. Classes are Friday and Saturday, 10:30 p.m. to 1 a.m. at Iguana’s and , Sandy’s. One word of warning. As easy as the class sounds, the final is a real bearcat. You have to out-drink the professor, and he’s from Mississippi. This class is a requirement in die journalism college. Healtb452, Collegiate Sex Education. ~ \ This is another new class offered this semester. It’s being taught in the hands-on lab method. Classes are held Friday and Saturday 1 a.m. to 1:07 a.m. in Abel Had. A less popular section is being offered Keller Plan. You study at your own pace, then take the tests by yourself while proctors watch. Luckily, you have five chances to pass. I hear there’s plenty of space left tiie cake classes. I’m sure there are several more out there. One guy can’t figure them all. So I’m calling on you, the all knowing, all-seeing student body. I need help (obviously). Send me your choice for easiest class. Be sure to include the instruc tc id course title. ui course, you’ll also have to provide adequate evidence and rea soning to support your choice. As incentive, I’ll buy the best entry a frozen yogurt at the city union bakery. Just write your suggestions down on a sheet of paper and drop it off at the Daily Nebraskan office. Please write “Attn: A.L. Foikner, opinion desk” at the top. Or e-mail them to letters®unl info. un 1. edi 1 The best selection will receive the aforementioned frozen yogurt (your choice of flavor), a photo of me and the winner and an auto graphed copy of this column. All entries in crayon will receive five bonus points. (Not the editor s note: This offer is in no way supported or conducted by the Daily Nebraskan. All deci sions will be made byA.L.,some friends and a Magic 8-Ball. All deci sions are final, sort of. No DN staff or family [sorry Mr. Klinker, Mrs. WimmerJ are eligible. Bribes will not be tolerated, but will be accepted. Thank you, and have a nice day.) c ' """dbbLjee/Dn]_ Every cloud has No hay mal que por bien no venga of the second floor of Oldfather; took a seat in the back row and waited. Already there was Carol Klucas, who didn’t know it yet, but was to become my Spanish 101 instructor. My decision to go to college had been a spur of the moment one. 1 approached her before she started class, and asked about getting an over ride. Because I had made the decision on Friday to quit my job and to start classes on Monday, I needed an over ride to get into Spanish 101, as all sec tions were lull. She told me to wait until she took roll and to talk to her again at the aid of class. iComo estas? iComo te llamas? (How are you? What’s your name?) Me llamo Tim. (My name is Tim.) snoflfifti oJ Jr .psqqsri ob ^ariJ.TI w frnrtfrrrhww Sir Timoteo as yaurname. Hola. Me llamo Timoteo. (Hello. My name is Tim.) Newly christened with the name “Timoteo,” I was off to general registra tion for new students, and I tried to reg ister. My first attempt failed miserably. I had forgotten one minor little detail - getting myself readmitted. Still pondering whether or not I liked mi nombre nuevo (my new name), oflF to Admissions I went. 7 Vy?T ' TW V WV V V*r Y'r V i An hour or so later, I?m back in line at the union, but this time things clicked, and I was suddenly a full-time estudiante (student) quien asistia la universidad (who was attending the university). • Something strange happened in the weeks and months that followed. The clothes I wore became mi ropa. My car was mi coche. Spanish class started a las siete y media de la manana, rather than at 7:30 a.m. tPuedo llamar a un abogado? (Can I call a lawyer?) No, probably not. I asked for it Not only did I ask for it, biit I went at it con mucho gusto. (With much pleasure.) Marcela van Olphen was my next profesora de espahol. Recibi urn “A+.'’ (I got an A+.) Spanish 201, which I took in the first five-week session of the Summer of 1994, wasn’t so easy. Dr. J. Augustin Fasten B. (I never did find out what the -‘B.” stood for) saw to that He scared a bunch of peo ple into dropping during the first week. But I hung in there, even though it was one of only two times I have opted for pass/no pass. (iMe van a molestar por ser * - '* • V* * 1 '* t • » - * * * * » * * 4. * * * * * 4 * 4 humano? (Am I likely to be harassed for being human?) The guy was the 201 coordinator and reputed to be the toughest Silvia Martmez-Gonzalez was my pnofesora for Spanish 202 in the sec ond five-week session. She was from Mexico. Cantamos condones. (We sang songs.) Recibi otra “A+.“ (I got another A+.) Mis pmfesores de espanol wanted me to take higher level courses. I was just glad it was over. That is, 1 was glad until a couple of weeks ago. A TT UlJ aiiUUg vll U pui XV I/VUVIA m front of the Laundromat I go to when two girls drove up in a car with in-tran sit stickers in die windows. ■ _The girl driving tried to park the car in a parking space. Her friend got out and tried to poinlM^f^iMl the wheel, etc., hut the girl driving'just couldn’t seem to park die car in a park ing space without hitting cars in the adjoining spaces. She must have tried seven times. Both of them were smiling and laughing. 1 was rolling. Finally, the girl driving got out and said “Could you help me, please?” I stopped laughing long enough to say “What, park your car?,” and she said “Yes, please!” So I got in her car and guided it safely into the parking space. It turned out she had been driving for only a couple of weeks and was still ^ learning to drive. I gave her my phone number and found out her name wasYwieny. She actually called that evening, much to my surprise, j. The great thing about meeting Yorleny is that she. has become mi amiga nueva (my new friend) who is* helping me re-lear&my Spanish. It’s coming back muy rapid). (Vary quick ly) Because she came here from Costa Rica only three months ago, I’m work ing with her on her English. And learn ing a lot about Costa Rica, too. Until now, I never considered it useful to nave fulfilled my Spanish requirement So as you drudge through your m-.. guage claWUM MMflfthaTit may be worth it some day whenyou. least expect it Your language classes may help you bridge cultural gaps that could reap huge rewards for you. Dichoyhecho. Te amo,Yotieny. ' (Editor's note: Spelling and gram matical errors are the sole responsibil ity of the columnist. Spanish professors should grade and return this column to him. Not me. My skills in Spanish are legendarily bad.)