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About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (Oct. 26, 1998)
."V- ... v. V \ $’ ' y 5 fjf f; .? t - . . .'.-He V \ :;v-4 Talking yourself out of an embarrassing situation isn’t so hard AJL. FORKNER is a junior news-ed major and a Daily Nebraskan columnist. For a moment, I thought my prayers had been answered. Last week I was sitting in my usual pub. My favorite bartender, John, had just delivered a fresh, frothy beverage when she walked up. I had turned to talk to my friend Nick when I noticed this extremely attractive woman standing there smil ing at me. No, really, she was. At me. Yes, really. Anyway, then she asked that hor rible question. “Aren’t you (A.L.) Forkner?” Ooo bey, I thought to myself, I guess I’m gonna get capped for hat Amnesty International column after all. Thai I realized it was much worse than hat She used my real name, instead of my initials. In other words, she really knew me from somewhere. “Uh, yeah,” I answered. “You went to Caitral High, right?” “Yup.” By now, I was totally confused. I had no clue who she was. Of course, since she was beautiful^ handled it in true Forkner fashion. I made a fool of myself. “You probably don’t remember me,” she said. God bless America, I fielded that question smoother than Derek Jeter , from deep in he hole. (Ladies, ask your boyfriends. It’s not kinky.) “Fin sorry, I don’t But God do I wish I did.” Aww yeah, move ova Shaft, here’s another bad mother in he house. (Editor s note: Smooth as burlap, and just as chafing.) Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, so die starts naming all of these people I knew in high school. This just served to worry as well as confound me. I felt horrible. A pretty giii doesn’t come up and start talking to me every day. Now that one doesn’t run from me in fear, I can’t remember her to save my life. That’s when she asked the scariest question that a man can hear. “Didn’t you used to date....” With a gulp of fear (and beer) I replied, ‘Yeah, I’m guilty. You’re not her roommate or anything are you?” We’ve all been there. Someone who knows you starts to talk, and you haven’t the faintest clue who they are. When it happens, you do have a few options. Option one: Lie like a White House press secretary. Pretend that you’re glad to see this person. Treat ’em like life-long pals. Helpful lines include: “How long has it been,” and “You still living over on, oh I can see it, what was it called again?” This is the most commonly prac ticed method. It’s usually the safest too. Safest? That’s right, picture this scenario. A girl comes up and starts to talk to you. You’re drawing a blank as to her identity. You decide to tell the truth and admit that you don’t know her. So she pulls a pair of boxers out of her purse and asks, “Remember these? You left ’em hanging from the fire escape last week.” Definite social faux pas. Option two: Feign brain damage. Look at the person blankly and drool. Facial tics are a nice touch, but hard to keep up for long. Helpful lines include: “Heh, heh, you said butt,” and “Neil, did you eat your Chunky soup today?” For some, this will be easier than others. However, it’s a tad demeaning and embarrassing. This is a bad choice if the person ^ \ _ Just cut me some slack, OK? I turns out to be the company represen- Helpful lines include: “I’m not him haven’t seen her for seven years. People tative who interviewed you hours earlier, anymore,” and “Did my editor send do change. Option three: Pretend to be you?” For example, this lady (I won’t exhausted and not thinking clearly. This can be a real tum-on to a lady print her tramp because I don’t want to Blink heavily, and rub the bridge of who likes danger. But be careful. It damage her reputation hy linking hpr to your nose. An imprint of your wrist- might be an ex, and who wants to give me) has changed a little bit watch on the side ofyour face adds a her any more ammunition? I’m sure she’s the same ol’ Sara little authenticity. ^ Final option: The truth. (oops!) on the inside. But on the out Helpful lines include: I m sorry, This is the path for me. Gutsy, but side she went from a 7.6 on the Forkner I’m so tired right now I can’t remember honorable. Look the person right in the scale to a 9.1 rating who I am,” and, if she’s really pretty, eye and admit that you don’t remember (Assuming, of course, her “cool as I ve been putting in SO much time at them. Dennis Miller with-a martini” personal work, I’m beat Why I chose to be a Helpful lines include: “I’m sorry, I ity hasn’t vanished.) surgeon and a lawyer is beyond me.” can’t recall right now,” and “Boy, that I mean, look at all the changes I’ve If this works, you’re either hitting sixth Guinness really did a number on gone through in seven years, on Jenny McCarthy or someone even me.” I’m pitifully single, broke, 20 more stupid. So this method also helps Yes, it probably lowers your chance pounds heavier, and my eyesight’s gone - to weed out the truly brain-damaged. for romance. But it’s better than hook- to hell. Option four: The Witness ing up with a psychotic ex. That’s just my luck. She gets even Protection Program approach. What happened to me? Turns out I better looking and I turn into A1 Bundy. The minute they say your name, was OK The minute she told me her Now if you’ll all excuse me, I’m jump up and get your back to a wall. name I remembered her fully. going to be studying my old yearbooks. Look around nervously and grab a fork The worst part was, I had a crush I want to be damn sure I don’t blow for defense. on her in high school. this chance again. * y Graceful strength _ Scarlets should be given more respect for the demanding role they fulfill TASHA KUXHAUSEN is a sophomore news-editorial major and a Daily Nebraskan columnist Many people believe that the Scarlets are just a variety of cheer leaders. Cheerleaders they definitely aren’t The cheerleaders and the Scarlets are both part of the university spirit squad, and both groups are very talented, but very different. The Scarlets are a skilled dance team and probably are some of the most athletic and finely toned women in all of the university’s athletics. Most people realize athletes work very hard to stay in shape and at die peak of their performance. But a com mon assumption is that the Scarlets don’t have to work as hard as other athletes because, well, they’re not ath letes. Wrong answer. The 16 women on die Scarlet dance team each work hard to be great athletes. I know how much time and dedication goes into being a Scarlet because I live with one of the women on the squad, Sarah Reichmuth. Every day, Sarah is either at prac tice for two hours, lifting weights, in aerobics class or spending extra time at the Campus Recreation Center. I have to admit that even though I know how much time and energy Sarah devotes to die dance team, I didn’t fully understand the difficulty of being a Scarlet until I tried out myself last May. I Was nervous, but hopeful because of my gymnastics and dance background. Boy, was I surprised to see about 60 women show up for the first day of tryouts. There were women practicing leaps and turns I had never even tried. Some women were bending their bod ies in ways that my body wouldn’t allow me to, even if I had wanted. The tryout was an experience to say the least. The talent in that litde room was tough. Many Of the women had taken dance lessons for more than a decade and had been dance camp instructors for years. So, as you probably guessed, 1 couldn’t compete with their experi ence. I was cut the first day. It had been a dream of mine since I was lit tle to be a Scarlet, so I was disap pointed that I wasn’t to be one of the squad members. But I can definitely say that I now know a small part of what it takes to be on the university’s dance team. . Each woman devotes a lot of time to the Scarlets, like any other athletes would to their sports. So what really bugs me is that the Scarlets don’t seem to get much recognition for all their hard work. Because the university dance team isn’t an NCAA sport, it often is unrec ognized as an athletic team by news papers, students and the university as a whole. For instance, I bet that not many of you know that last year the Scarlets didn’t get to enjoy their spring break in Florida or South Padre, but instead spent their week here in Lincoln. The week was devoted to preparing for the National Competition in April. Tony Gonzales, the Scarlets’ choreograph er, came all the way from California to help die women perfect their two minute dance, for about five hours a day, all week. Gonzales only helps the dancers for a few weeks out of the year. In between his visits, the Scarlets make 15) their own dances. They work on their national routine for weeks before he arrives. s At die National Competition in Daytona Beach, Fla., the Scarlets had their sights set on the championship. Only one day of the trip was spent at the beach. The women practiced every moment possible until their perfor mance. “We practiced in a parking garage, at the airport and on the bus,” Sarah told me. With an almost flawless perfor mance in the fiiials, the Scarlets fin ished three-hundredths of a point behind Brigham Young University. Though the women were disap pointed, second place is hardly some \ tiling to scoff at The Scarlets have seen a steady rise in their finish at the competition every year. Three years ago they finished 10th. Two years back their finish was third. Last year brought the second place trophy to the team. All that’s left is number one in 1999. Even though the Scarlets display poise and talent, they don’t always get to perform at athletic events. When the Husker football team traveled to play Oklahoma State in Arrowhead Stadium, the dancers barely received last-minute approval to perform at the game. Once the Scarlets were allowed to attend the Oklahoma State game, they were informed that they had to find their own rides to Kansas City. I feel that transportation should be provided for the dancers to every game because the Scarlets are part of the university’s athletics. According to the women on the squad, dancing is an athletic perfor mance that is emotionally demand-. ing.The Scarlets learn new dance rou tines at every practice. Not only do they have to remem ber every dance, but they must be able to perform each one without many days’practice. I once took three weeks to learn one dance that I performed in high school, and it still was far from per fect. I really admire the fact that the Scarlets are able to learn quickly and remember so many dances. Dancers also have to be very flex ible and have very good control. On top of all that, the Scarlets always have to look good. They must always remember to anile, and keep their bodies straight and tight while per forming. But I doubt that anyone would argue that the Scarlets don’t always look good. Hillary Johnson, a third-year vet eran of the squad, says the Scarlets have worked hard to change their team image at games and around campus. “After we got third place at Nationals in 1997, we decided to change our team image so that people would notice how good we are,” Hillary told me. The Scarlets began by throwing out their outfits that included skirts. The dancers wanted to be set apart from the cheerleaders as another part of the spirit squad. Now the women wear black pants whenever they dance. The Scarlets are one of the best dance teams in the nation, if not die best this year. We need to appreciate them for more than just “a bunch of good-lookin’ women,” as I have heard so many people say. Their talent is amazing, and their dedication never-ending. So don’t laugh the next time someone says that dancers are athletes. The Scarlets are some of the best examples of fine collegiate athletes. They deserve recognition for being skilled dancers, and once that’s real ized, it isn’t so bad for people to appreciate their good looks too.