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About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (May 1, 1998)
BARB CHURCHILL is a graduate student in saxo phone performance and a Daily Nebraskan colum nist. Better living through chemistry This is what the impotence-fighting drug Viagra claims. Mai who previously wouldn’t have been caught dead admit ting hey can’t achieve or sustain an erec tion are flocking to Viagra in droves. Men who didn’t want to bother with the traditional injections of most otter impotence-fighting drugs. Men who, perhaps, don’t want to have to admit to their partner that they just can’t get turned on in the conventional manner. As Forrest Sawyer said on “Nighlline,” "Suddenly, (wife Viagra) it seems the once private world of sexual performance has come storming out of the closet, not likely to return.” It proves how important lovemak ing is to the average American male. Viagra, by its very nature as a non invasive treatment for sexual dysfunc tion, may prove to be as revolutionary in impotence therapy as Prozac was to the treatment of depression. Viagra is described as “an oral thera py for erectile dysfunction” by its maker, the Pfizer corporation (online at www.viagra.com). Pfizer goes on to say that “Viagra is rapidly absorbed after oral administration... maximum observed plasma concentrations are reached with in 30 to 120 minutes (median 60 min utes) of oral dosing in the fasted state.” The upshot of all this scientific jar gon is, if you’re an impotent man, you can take Viagra about an hour before you want to have sex. Then, if all goes well, you will be able to maintain an Keep it up Viagra is not a miracle drug; use it wisely erection, please your partner and enjoy your sexual performance. For many impotent men, the thought of having successful, fun sex has been as welcome as manna from heaven. But is Viagra truly all it is cracked up to be? Viagra was the subject of a recent “Nightline” investigation, which seems surprising for such a new, unproven drug. Some men seem to believe Viagra is the first proven aphrodisiac, which isn’t quite right (An aside to these men: Follow the yellow brick road to sexual fulfillment It will do you as much good in the long run.) Ah, if only it were that easy. But, I digress. According to the National Institute of Health, “Erectile dysfunction affects millions of men.” Well, this explains why all those doctors quoted in a recent Newsweek are getting cramps in their hands after writing so many Viagra prescriptions. The NIH goes onto say that “for some men erectile function may not be the best or most important measure of sexual satisfaction, but for many men erectile dysfunction creates mental stress that affects their interactions with family and associates.” In other words, men get so damned embarrassed about their erectile prob lems that it keeps them from wanting to get close to any woman, because they know when “the chips are down,” they just won’t be able to perform. And, rather than be embarrassed, they’d just as soon not even be close enough to a woman to have sex in the first place. Nightline correspondent John Donvan interviewed Dr. James Regan, from the Georgetown University Medical Center, regarding die efficacy ofViagra. “John, I can tell you that as a prac ticing physician and dealing with these (impotent) men day in and day out, the ability forme to prescribe a pill and give them a reasonable expectation of success with die pill has radically changed how I practice and radically changed what my patients have come to expect,” Regan said. In other words, Regan believes Viagra offers a real alternative for men who want to have sex, but can’t On March 27,1998, ABC News reported that “in studies of several thousand men, researchers reported that Viagra helped over 70 percent improve their erections.” ABC News also reported that the main side effects appear to be headaches and upset stom achs, although a few men at higher doses reported an odd inability to tell blue and green colors apart. When someone who’s given up on sexual fulfillment suddenly gets a chance at it, don’t they leap, grab and just say “YES!” when they find out they still may be able to enjoy sex after all? No matter what the cost? Come on, let’s face it. The side effects would have to be much, MUCH worse to keep men away from Viagra. We all know how difficult it is to get to the stage in a relationship where sex becomes expected and necessary. Having sex is problematic in and of itself. For some of us, this occurs only on our wedding night For others, it is when we feel sufficiently close enough to our significant other that we dare to share our truest self. Think of all the questions we ask. “Is this the right time? Is this the right person? Does he/she truly care for me? Will he/she respect me in the morning? Will I respect myself in the morning?” Having sex is about die most inti mate thing we can do together. And, if we can’t do it, but want to, that causes some severe psychological problems. Just imagine how difficult it is for a man who knows he can’t sustain an erection, that he can’t please a woman “the normal way.” Yeah, that perhaps leaves a few other things to do. You can date. You can talk. You can be intimate. But you can’t have sex. This is a problem, and not just for us college students, according to “Nightline.” Joseph Feczko, vice presi dent of Pfizer, Inc., said, “The main study that looked at this from the late 1980s estimated that... as many as 30 million men... suffer some degree of erectile dysfunction.” So, for Pfizer, it looks like they just hit the jackpot The conventional view, which states that men feel incompetent if they can’t perform on demand as sex machines, was brought up by “Nightline” guest Mark Jannot, deputy editor of Men’s Health magazine “I think that men look at it as an opportunity to really make themselves feel sort of better about their perfor mance in bed There’s a huge market of impotent men driving this drug, but the reason that it’s been hyped so much and die reason we’re all talking about it over dinner is because every man in America wants to look at this as an opportunity to be a sexual superman,” Jannot said The more conciliatory view, which says Viagra is only a tool, and shouldn’t be valued too highly OR too low, was brought up by fellow “Nightline” guest Dr. Steve Lamm of the New York University School of Medicine. “(Viagra) is not an aphrodisiac. It’s a facilitator of erection, but it’s not a facilitator of relationships,” Lamm said But it should work, according to Dr. Lamm, if it is used properly. “Relationships will begin when a man has an erection, because there are many, many men who avoid intimacy, avoid dating, avoid contact with women because they are embarrassed by their lack of performance,” Lamm said. So, giving men back their ability to have erections is all that’s needed for a successful sex life? Is that all it takes? Not according to Dr. Renshaw. Men, Renshaw said, want an “instant orgasm” pill, which Viagra isn’t And, there’s another problem. Sexual love. Does it really exist with out the help ofViagra? “Women... are saying ‘is it the chemical, or is it me? Would you be as interested without (Viagra)?”’ Renshaw asked And men, according to Dr. Lamm, truly are different as regards their sexu ality. “There’s a very big difference between sexuality for men and for women. You know, men count their days by how many times they have intercourse. Women count their days as to how many times they get hugged,” Lamm said. But this doesn’t get men off the hook, Lamm said, if they want a mean ingful relationship. “Unless men realize that erections aren’t the first step in an intimate rela tionship, they’re going to be very lonely at the end of taking their Viagra,” he said Amen, brother, amen. The moral of this story is this: if you are impotent, take Viagra. * But don’t forget the importance of nonsexual intimacy, communication and friendship, either. True stories * j Meter maid passion, atheist-bashing ends career MALCOLM KASS is a senior chemical engineer ing major and a Daily Nebraskan columnist Confessions, observations and regrets are the three elements that com posed this columnist’s 5-year collegiate career or anyone’s career. Now that I am leaving the hallowed halls of this institution, I leave you with these antidotes about myself and what I learned in college. Enjoy. Confession No. 1 I, Malcolm Kass, have a confession to make to you, my faithful readers. For die past semester I have tugged on your ears, and pretended to be one of you. Now, I just can’t go on any further liv ing this charade. I love attending all the hot parties, rubbing elbows with the elite socialites on campus, even the extra attention from the girls who wouldn’t look at me otherwise. Now, it has to stop. I, Malcolm Kass, student, beer buddy, friend to all, do not hate the parking meter attendants. For years I have joined you in your little hate circles. I got the ropes ready, die white sheets, plucked die feathers, and heated the tar. Alas, my heart beats to a different drummer. What started as a little voice of con science, like die one that was always trying to keep Magnum P.I. out of trou ble, now has grown to a scream of real ity in this columnist’s head Someone has to stop this madness. Therefore, I beg this university to admit it and stop the hate. Don’t be shy. Finding parking during those times is about as easy as talking to your fourth grade teacher after her fifth cup of cof fee. It’s a war out there, people. We want them on that line. We need them on that line. I, for one, am terrified of a world that tries to live in the anarchy that those meters prevent There you have it I confess. Now I’ll be able to look at myself in the mir ror, and also hang up all of my clothes with all the new space that is my closet The next time you see our parking enforcers creating a better world with each five-dollar ticket, hug them. Hug them and say that it’s from Malcolm. I would like to thank my Conflict Resolution negotiation group Steph, Jon, Andy, Eric, and most of all, Jacob Beard for giving me the courage to face and defeat the demons inside. Confession No. 2 I faked crying in my farewell address in this year’s ASUN installa tion. Confession No. 3 I like the Spice Girls, but you prob ably already knew that Confession No. 4 Even though many of you have adopted the KKK policy of ridiculing Roman Catholics, I am still proud to say die Pope is cool with me. Observation No. 1 I, and I believe I am speaking for all in the engineering college, know that we engineers are your intellectual supe riors. Do any of you honestly believe in that right brain, left brain crap? We all heard die story, left brainers are analyti cal and math-oriented and right brain ers are creative. What a bunch of lies. Letfe put it this way, if all the engi neers transferred to any liberal arts department, or vice versa, die average GPA in that department would be 3.95 and the average GPA in the engineering college would be -5.61. Just face the truth, engineers are just better than you. I recommend the rest of you worship and erect temples in the good name of engineering so we might contemplate granting you mercy. Observation No. 2 f The Irish broadcasting majors make damn fine roommates and friends. Observation No. 3 Letters to the editor and the people who write them. You really touch us columnists and have valid points describing our ignorance. Oops, what I really meant to say is that I hate all of you! (Except Curt Ruwe.) Do you believe that any of us or . anybody in readerland cares about your nonsensical garbage (except Curt , Ruwe)? I guess it makes sense that these letters usually are from the worth less liberal arts section of town. We are just columnists who are writing a bunch of crap, but we actually get paid. But you people with your pathetic lives take time out to prove to the rest of the university that you’re an idiot (except Curt Ruwe). Just shut up and get a major that actually creates brain waves (except Curt Ruwe). Observation No. 4 Atheists. Just because you were picked on in high school for wearing black all the time and carry around a book of stories from Edgar Allen Poe doesn’t mean there is no God. Freaks. Observation No. 5 Psychology is not a science. Pointing out that common sense occurs in society does not put you on the same level as Albert Einstein and Isaac Newton. I realty don’t need the latest research findings to know that if some one sees 200 people get mowed down by a machine gun that he or she will have mental trauma. Observation No. 6 Conservatives are funnier and more fim than liberals. Observation No. 7 You can’t BS your way out of an Air Pollution project. And definitely not senior design. Observation No. 8 " Dillon Bloedhom, Terry Crawford and Tim Elge need female companion ship more than I do. Observation No. 9 That loud-mouthed and obnoxious people from France give up and run away better than any other nationality. In World Wars I and H, they just gave their country to Germany and waited for everybody else bail them out Anybody with even a slingshot can become the new Emperor of die French people. Why do you think they invent ed the Concord, because it quickens world travel? No, they have brought wjftiping out and running away to a whole new standard. Observation No. 10 Hands down, Latino women are the most beautiful women in the world. Watch die movie, “From Dusk to Dawn,” and you will know exactly what I mean. Observation No. 11 Portuguese women are the second most beautiful women in the world. Observation No. 12 Women are smarter than men. Observation No. 13 Women are more evil than men. Observation No. 14 Alpha Phi is the best greek house on campus with the coolest chicks. Observation No. 15 If you want to learn how to run a newspaper, join the Daily Nebraskan. If want to learn about life, join ASUN. Observation No. 16 You do not obtain an education in die College of Arts & Sciences, you get recess. Observation No. 17 When I first set foot on this cam pus, my first endeavor was as a tuba performer in the Comhusker Marching Band, and I can honestly say without a doubt... die band sucks. Observation No. 18 East Campus is better than City Campus. Observation No. 19 The Pepsi Beverage Alliance was a damn good idea. To the idiot columnist who wrote, “I want to thank the admin istration of selling out time and time again, most recently to Pepsi, to show us students what real-life capitalism is all about UNL officials have taught me a great may lessons, most often how not to run things”: Let’s just mention that a large sum of the money given from Pepsi is ear marked for scholarships. Not to men tion that some of these scholarships will be based on financial need. I hardly think the administration and Pepsi are being capitalist pigs with this contract This just shows that sometimes even columnists don’t have a clue what they are talking about. Observation No. 20 Listen and love your parents, they know what die hell their talking about RegretNo. 1 On a Saturday night never drive east from Lincoln on Highway 6 with Todd Munson just “looking for some thing to do.” RegretNo. 2 “Laughing in Miami” is an episode in my life I should have never told another life form about RegretNo. 3 Not telling Curt and Amy that they were the bestASUN pres and vice-pres in my lifetime, in college that is. RegretNo. 4 Probably writing this column. RegretNo. 5 Not becoming the Pope. That would be sooo sweet >. Well, that’s it From Paul, Frances, Mike, Matt, Mary, Ken, Lauren, Martha, Ben, Suzanne, Steven, Sarah, myself and from all in the Kass clan, goodbye to all and to all a good night See ya on the flip side.
