KLAUS MARRE is a
senior broadcasting
major and a Daily
Nebraskan columnist.
Students like slogans.
They’re always telling you to
“Get Involved,” or “Do Your Part.”
Actually, “Get off your asses and
start caring about what is going on
around you instead of sitting on a
couch all day” is much better, but is
not used as often because it doesn’t
fit on buttons and bumper stickers.
I don’t believe these slogans
work, at least not at this university.
As a whole, our student body is
lame and apathetic.
Think of one thing that really
pisses you off about this university.
Now think of the actions you have
taken to change whatever it is you
don’t like. If your answer is any
thing better than “not enough,” then
this column isn’t targeted at you. To
everybody else: You are pathetic.
I disagree with many of the
groups on campus every day who
try to recruit me for cults or organi
zations, such as “League of Pet
Molesters” or “Burr Hall against
Todd Munson” (although I’m not
really against their cause), but at
least these people are doing some
thing.
One of die reasons I don’t like
“Get involved” is it implies to get
involved for the sake of getting
involved. That’s a bunch of crap. If
you are perfectly happy with your
life and the university, then you
should just continue as always. But
if there is even one thing you would
like to change if you could, then you
should go out and try it.
Last week Todd addressed the
issue of having a wet campus. He
offered students the possibility to
vote on the topic. We have had a
stunning turnout of four votes (our
editor is not done counting them,
but you will have the results in a
couple of weeks).
Now, if I were an administrator
or on the NU Board of Regents, I
would laugh in the face of four stu
dents who ask me about changing
the UNL campus from “dry” to
“wet.” I would still be laughing if it
were 40 students or even 400, but
I d probably get more nervous.
I believe this lack of student
support is the reason why the
Association of Students of the
University of Nebraska is so inef
fective. Last year the voter turnout
was an amazing 9.8 percent, or
2*175 students. The year before, it
was only 8.4 percent. These num
bers leave all those hard-working
people ofASUN totally powerless,
because they show students just
don’t give a damn about what is
going on. They would have more
clout if 80 percent of the students
would show they care by voting.
If20,000 of us were behind an
issued would be hard to overlook
the voice of the student body.
Administrators would have to listen
instead of laughing in our faces.
There will never be any changes
unless we make them happen. And
what if we would not just voice our
opinion, but act accordingly? What
if those of us who are upset by not
having the choice of non-alcoholic
beverages stopped buying over
priced Pepsi products? Maybe
somebody would change a policy
that benefits the university but not
the students.
Here is another good one: stu
dent tickets and the seating arrange
ments. The student section has been
getting increasingfybad seats over
the years to make a bigger profit for
the Athletic Department.
Wouldn’t it be great if one day
the players would stand up for their
fellow students, just as we are
standing up for them every
Saturday, and demand we keep our
seats or they sit out one game. What
are university officials and Bill
Byrne going to do then? Get rid of
the football program or tell the team
to go to hell? I don’t think so. We
would get exactly what we want,
and the student unity would
increase a great deal.
So many things in this university
seem to screw students, and all
these policies will remain in place if
we don’t start trying to change
them. ASUN elections are March
11, and the deadline to enter the
race is not for another two weeks. If
you want to change something, now
is the time. You don’t even need a
platform to run, just one issue you
care about. If enough students feel
the same way, you might just get
elected and be in a position to start
changing things.
Another good way of making
yourself heard is the fantastic con
cept of civil disobedience. I can
think of some pretty good places to
park your car to protest certain uni
versity policies. Also, if you want a
wet campus, go to the chancellor’s
office and chain yourself to a keg of
beer. Hell, Gandhi did it, and it
worked for him.
Critics out there are probably
asking what 1 have done to change
things, or why I’m not running. The
answer is simple. First of all, I’m
not going to be around long enough
for a full term. But more important
ly, I am just as pathetic as every
body else, or at least I have been.
This column is just as much an
apology to the student body as a
challenge. I challenge every student
to care about this university and to
change the policies that are unfair to
students. On the other hand, I apolo
gize for not having done so earlier.
During my first two years here, I
put up with the things that were
wrong at UNL, knowing I would not
be here forever. I urge you not to
make the same mistake.
We owe it to ourselves as stu
dents of a university to see things
are wrong and try to change them.
We also owe it to all former students
who have tried to make our lives
easier.
Most importantly, we owe it to
the next generation of students, who
will thank us for making UNL a bet
ter place to live and learn.
The beautiful people
Sex appeal beats talent in entertainment world
MALCOLM KASS is a
senior chemical engineer
ing major and a Daily
Nebraskan columnist.
Taste.
From what I hear, it’s the noble in
the noblest, the tact in the tactful, the
holy in the holy. However, we as a
society ignore it and acutely despise
it. We know it, but we don’t care.
That’s why we watch Jerry Springer,
read tabloids and view vegetarianism
as socially acceptable.
My fellow humans, the strongest
of us cannot resist our animal
instincts. Our waking moments are
filled with crap dancing in our
heads. *•
Even I, as perfect and highbrow
as 1 may seem m the public eye, am
delicate. My delicate psyche stems
from an eroding environment of
musical seduction. My soul, which
Satan himself wouldn’t even bother
to own, is depreciating at an ever
heightening rate. I, Malcolm John
Kass, son of Paul, am a fan of the
devils of intellectual thought and the
spirit of goodness.
I love the Spice Girls.
Posh, Baby, Sexy, Scary and
Sporty have transformed a boy, full
of hope and promise and eager to
accept the world as his own, to a
wretch. Wrought with evil, 1 have
drunk from a venom that plagues this
society today — the nectar of sex. I
have accepted one of life’s undeni
able forces: sex sells instinct. My
god, does it ever sell.
I don’t know why these five
Medusas satisfy my musical hunger,
but I know I am not alone. I only
wish others are willing to acknowl
edge they are under the same hypnot
ic spell as myself. Musical merit has
no meaning. We cannot fight back.
lastejust sucks.
. What you are about to read is of
. grave,importance, sbpQtorijy Ml I
write it in English, but in the liberal
arts native tongue of baby talk. For
the majors of the little minds, poo
pou ba-faon-gaba sabla tou feee j
dasw xzmo uy j roolou, Solo. (I don’t
know why I bother doing this, the
only response given is “Re lafd kxal
gabgab,” meaning, “Wipe me.”)
For the rest of us, the Spice Girls,
Celine Dion, Fiona Apple, Eddie
Vedder and Gavin Rossdale all con
quered the top of the music kingdom
with one common trait: sex appeal. If
it was true these artists became
famous for their musical talent,
where are the 300-pound Janet Reno
singer/songwriters? If Celine Dion
looked like Shamu, would you hon
estly think she would be as revered in
the music industry? Do all musical
prodigies happen to be smokin’ hot
ana give impressions oi being
promiscuous like a pom star?
People, these artists are not world
renowned because they are deep,
pensive and methodical. They’re
famous because they show through
music, posters, magazines, etc., one
common theme — “Hey, I’m hot and
easy. Get on me!” And we lap it up
like dogs. I actually admire the Spice
Girls. They at least don’t hide the
fact that breast size is directly related
to the amount of dollar signs.
Why do we allow big business to
ruin musical beauty? Because we
want our celebrities to be attractive.
This also applies to guys, to a lesser
degree, as well. Think of all the top
male rock stars. Now, which of them
is fat? John Popper is the only stud
who I believe fits that category.
Now don’t misunderstand me, all
of these people have fabulous musi
cal talent. Even the Spice Girls won
three American Music Awards. But
what made diem famous, a.k.a. rich,
is that sex sells, and they capitalized
on that fact like the entrepreneurs
they are. Sarah McLachlan sells
albums by being a sex beast, and
Marilyn Manson, well, we buy his
albums for a sweet little reminder the
normal ones of us don’t have differ
ent-sized pupils and pray to Satan.
All of these artists succeeded
because they had the intellect to suc
ceed exceptFionaApple. I can’t : x
un<^rst^id
Apple remembers how to dress her
self, much less be well on her way to
the Mount Olympus of rock ‘n’
roll.
Let me explain. Miss
Apple had a concert in the
Mancuso Convention
Hall at Omaha late
last year where
the Daily
Nebraskan
quoted her as saying,
“I’m not
going to get up
here like the
Spice
Girls
Rock!.’ I jwB
mean, girls n
do rock, but w
guys rock ^
too .’’Thanks ^
for sticking up
for guys, Fiona. As
if the Spice Girls
are calling out to
appeal has America’s jaw hanging so
low that maybe we needSpice Girls >
representatives for common world
problems. Instead of the
Fidel Castro, maybe Pontiff Spice
and Commie Spice should dukgjt
<*i|,Js*aeli Sjbtffe and PPS^SbiceN.
could sway peoptet^ome togemel
in the West Bank.~Presi3ent Clinton
knows all about Lewinsky Spice.
The possibilities are end
less! -
I