Image provided by: University of Nebraska-Lincoln Libraries, Lincoln, NE
About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (Jan. 23, 1998)
'I KLAUS MARRE is a senior broadcasting major and a Daily Nebraskan columnist. The opinion editor asked me to write on foreign affairs, so I dedicat ed two hours of my life to recap the events which led to a romance between me and Maria, a married Spanish woman. Next, I got hit in the head and somebody explained the real mean ing of foreign affairs to me. Well, excuse me. So much for me telling you about how close Barbara Bush and Iran’s Ayatollah Khomeini really were. The one big question I have about international politics is this: Why is the world run by a bunch of old men? All due respect to the elderly - they are second to none in playing bingo, but running this planet? A few examples will illustrate the point. One of the big events this week was the papal visit to Cuba, where John Paul II (age 77) will hang out with my man Fidel Castro (71). My own country’s Helmut Kohl is in his late 60s, about the same age as Russia s Bons Yeltsin (but let s not forget that Boris is trashed all the time). In China, another world power, Deng Xiao Ping died last year at the age of 92 and was replaced by Jiang Zemin, whose 70th birthday is only a memory. Well, compared to Deng, he really is fresh blood. Domestically, you have Strom Thurmond, senator of South Carolina, who will be more than 100 years old by the time he completes his term. He was bom in 1902. People didn’t even know about air planes or the wheel back then (although I admit that my research on that is kind of shaky). When Bob Dole ran for the presidency in 1996, he was already 72 years old. So what’s the point of all these numbers and names? Well, old peo ple shouldn’t run the world. Take a long, hard look at your grandfathers and imagine them being president or pope or ayatollah. It just doesn’t work. They are probably really nice, old men who give you candy and tell you stories about the good old days, but they also forget where they are at, Out with the old Elderly should give way to young leaders who you are, and what the hell is going on. Running the world takes a lot more than being wise. The concept of the oldest person being the leader probably originated in some cave, and there it really made sense because the elders knew more and their knowledge could only be passed on by word-of-mouth and not written down or stored in any other way. There is no denying that a certain life experience is required to become president, and the Constitution pro vides us with the rule that any person running for office has to be 35 years of age. Why isn’t there an age limit on the other side of the spectrum, when physical limitations become apparent, memories get fuzzy, and the brain slows down? Remember Ronald Reagan in the Iran-Contra hearings? I can still hear him saying “I don’t recall this” and “I don’t recall that.” I always thought that he was a liar, but I’m looking at the events differently now. Maybe he didn’t lie to Congress; what if he simply couldn t remember because Alzheimer’s had reared its ugly head? There is another point which is even more important than the physi cal and mental limitations. In 1948, Strom Thurmond ran for the presi dency. The Cold War hadn’t even started, World War II just ended and there were no signs of a civil rights movement yet. He was governor of South Carolina in 1947, which means that he was the head of a state gov ernment that supported segregation. This just doesn’t sound right. Does this mean that Sen. Thurmond changed all of his views and aban doned his prejudices to better serve his constituents? I don’t think so. These political dinosaurs have simply been passed up by a society that is changing more rapidly than ever. I don’t want a 90-something making decisions in Congress on issues that he probably has no clue about (the Internet, for example). The old men who run this country and the world probably base many of then decisions on some kind of ancient value system that probably worked fine in their time but is outdated now. Experience is certainly a good thing, but carrying around too many memories can prove to be an obstacle in the process of making good deci sions for thousands of people. Maybe our governments aren’t: getting anything done because they are stuck with ideologies that don’t work in today’s world. During the week of Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday, I would like to see leaders who were children when King talked about having a dream rather than a bunch of old men who were in office when segregation was still around. Maybe all the sessions in Congress take so long because the congressmen keep forgetting each others’ names, talk about the good old days too much or forget where they were going halfway through speeches. Some call it filibustering - I call it senility. 1 can just see Thurmond approaching the podium in the Senate to present his “No taxation without representation” speech, which would probably be filled with anecdotes from how it was in the Battle of Bunker Hill. Everybody would look down, ashamed, because they wouldn’t want to tell Strom that America has been a free country for more than two centuries. Well, I everybody would be ashamed except * the other 80-plus-year-old senators, ' who would give Strom a rousing, standing ovation because they have also forgotten about America’s inde pendence. It would be nice if all these old men would realize that their time has passed and they should step down to make room for a new generation. They have done their share of good and bad for their respective coun tries. Unfortunately, most of them don’t realize this; they hang onto sen timental Votes and stand in the way of progress. ’’ ’ ' :1 i Maybe it is time for an amend ment that sets an age limit for public; officials. There should be a retire ment island for former heads of state where the old men can sit in the sun, wear funky-looking pants up to their armpits and play shuffle board all day, just like my grandpa, and talk about the glorious times when they were on top of the world. Robb Blum/DN Who to tattoo? Legislature must not assume parental responsibilities r—— .in __ ^ JL MALCOLM KASS is a senior chemical engineer ing major and a Daily Nebraskan columnist. I daydream. I absolutely LOVE daydream ing.*! must admit that I can waste b(tll)9RftMfllih^$ta900tfWimming -i 3 Jiffi«ftat of Old Style with Ani - DiFranco, Julia Louis-Dreyfuss (a.k.a. Elaine off “Seinfeld”), Ariel from the movie “The Little Mermaid” and Harry Caray. This fiveplay happens in a backdrop of a weeklong concert with Sotindgarden, Fugazi and the Spice Girls (I’m drooling right now). But lately I have been having another type of daydream, a dream I would never wish upon any of my fellow humans. The name is Montana Kass, the fastest drunk in the Old West. wnne naing my trusty steed, I decided to stop in the Unicameral saloon to wet the throat. Flaunting my tattoos and body piercings for - all to see, a woman bartender, Elaine “State Senator” Stuhr, said with a mean grin on her face, “I’m a bad son-of-a-bitch!” I said, “That’s my line.” Then she shot me in the head, then I was dead, so her face turned red, and she said, “I’ll kill an 18-year-old or younger with a tattoo or body piercing, even ones named Ted!” OK, that was a very dumb dream, but there is a point. (I actu ally thought I was dead once - then introduced Legislative Bill 1166. LB 1166 would prevent anyone 18 years old or younger from receiving a tattoo or body piercing without parental permission. This bill was prompted from parents in her district who com plained about children as young as 13 coming home with tattoos. Why a 13-year-old would want to take the first steps in looking like Marilyn Manson, I don’t know. And while Sen. Stuhr’s heart is in the right place, her bill may do more harm than good. First, let me say that I believe that the majority of tattoo artists would never tattoo someone who appeared to still be in high school. But just like any profession, there are money-hungry pigs who would _ sell their children to clone-doctor Richard Seed so that he might cre ate a superior race of identical beings. Off the subject time. Dr. Jekyll, do you really think you are fooling anyone? How stupid do you think we are? Do you believe we just forgot about Hitler? Yeah, like the world really believes that you psychopaths keep on popping up! Where was I? Oh yeah. This is why I can certainly sympathize with the pleas of Sen. Stuhr. Let’s face it, kids don’t know crap. I was guilty Of this, you were guilty of this, and certainly 13-year-old kids with tattoos shouldn’t even get to face a jury. Teen-agers have no capacity to understand that, at age 40, the only people who have tat toos work at county fairs. Teen-agers are damn capable of bringing irrationality to a zenith. Just ask those teen-age, big-game hunters who shot cattle for fun south of Lincoln. Even believing that the Association of Students of the University of Nebraska has a purpose makes more sense than killing a cow standing still. Man, that has to be exciting to shoot a cow that is trying to avoid every shot by standing in place, sleeping. You can almost hear the adrenaline flow. When I think of 13-year-olds getting tattoos and the adjectives used to depict them 15 years from now, words such as “priest,” “nun,” “drug-free” and “law-abiding citi zen” do not come to mind. Descriptions fflHHpSmi1 I AC/DC shirts in their high school seniorpictures” and “the Innocents Society.” I can see the letters now: Mr. Kass, We is good! Signed, The Innocents P.S. Mortar Board sucks. While my heart goes out to LB 1166, my reasoning does not. Although I agree with the bill’s intentions, more laws that govern the family household are just not needed. Such laws de-emphasize the most crucial responsibility of being a parent - parenting. The last thing our developing children need is to provide political battlegrounds for Nazi conservatives and Nazi liberals (Yes, you liberals that are so far left that you’re Republican are fascists, too). When it comes to our children, it’s laissez-faire, baby. I realize that Sen. Stuhr views LB 1166 as a step in protecting our children, but parents need to learn from these mistakes to prevent i future protfOiMjMWlttitakc their parenting style isn’t exactly going to place their kid on the fast track to becoming the pope. Even though I have no child of my own, I know parenting is diffi cult. But it needs to be difficult if our children are to possess the most important trait of all: becoming competent parents themselves. In the least, good parents will .. produce sound Jedis to fight for the rebellion against the evil Dr. Seed empire in the Clone Wars.