The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current, October 10, 1997, Page 5, Image 5
Wusses of the world, unite! Fighting can be hazardous to your health STEVE WILLEY is a senior news-editorial major and a Daily Nebraskan colum nist. While some Nebraska fans slept after last Saturday night’s football game, I spent the evening tooling around downtown O Street. I had made the rounds at the bars and had slapped five to numerous overjoyed fans. It had been a great night, and an even better win by the Huskers. On the way back to the car that evening, my friends and I decided to stop at La Bamba, a Mexican restau rant that promises to serve - and this is no joke ■- “burritos as big as your head.” I’d be damned if I didn’t have to see this for myself. • Fortunately, the burritos were not as big as my head; they were bigger! They were closer in size to a propane gas tank one might find at a family farmhouse. That was all right with me. For you see, when it gets to be about 2 a.m., I don’t care what the food tastes like. All I care about is that I’m given a portion capable of satisfying four gorillas. And I guarantee, if you order the “Super Burrito,” you’ll be hard pressed to finish the sucker. Hell, I'd bet the entire state of Montana could n’t eat two of them. I know I had a bslHlva jbnae getting down six. Everything was turning out to be part of a grand evening. But as I did my best to choke down the last burri to, I overheard something I just hate overhearing: A fight was brewing over by the counter. It seemed that a few Nebraska and Kansas State fans were jawing back and forth about something, probably whether Curly was the best Stooge. Now had this been three years ago, I would have been loving the verbal exchanges. Every time a / guy would have said something, I would have been right behind him: “Ohhh, MAN! You gonna take that?” And even if the insult would have been about the other guy’s team, I would have found some way to turn it into some lewd comment about the guy’s mother and Don Rickies. \ That was the kind of instigator I used to be. And it’s not that I don’t under stand fighting. My dad always told me, “Sometimes young bulls got to lock horns just to be locking horns. Hell, ain’t no harm done, boy.” But what my dad was too hard headed to realize is that the potential for harm is always there. I, of all peo ple, should know that. You see, one night while I was living in the dorms, I had this “brilliant” idea to smart off to Fred Pollack, now a 1,800-pound starting lineman for the Huskers. I was drunk and pissed because I had just had a fight with my girlfriend at the time - something to do with buy ing foreign cars over domestic ones. And though for days later I bragged that Fred “didn’t want none of Big baddy,” I knew things that night could have ended badly. And by badly, I mean I could have suffered serious brain trauma from being ^ hurled down six flights of stairs. I’m alluding to the type of head injuries that cause people to talk with perma nent lisps and unintentionally relieve themselves whenever someone uses a lordless phone. Now I look back on that night with great thanks thaft Mr. Pollack utilized his sense of human decency. I just hope he forgives my stupidity. And I should also thank my friends who convinced Fred that - though they couldn’t think of a good reason at the time -1 should be allowed to live. Maybe I’m just getting older now. (Notice I don’t use the words “more mature.”) I just don’t get the same things out of being a jerk as I used to. Frankly, I’m surprised that I would even attempt to pick a fight with Fred. I’ve never been good at throw ing down. It terrifies me, primarily because I’m essentially about as effective in a fist fight as a pillow case. Even though I grew up with two older brothers who used to - as my dad put it - “kick the crap out that boy,” I never learned to defend myself. My whole fighting technique consisted mainly of burying my face in my brother’s stomach, hanging on for dear life and repeatedly shouting the mantra, “I want my MOMMY!” - I had even gotten to the point where I could successfully use the family dog to shield my brothers’ blows. (Only thing is, I didn’t have of Skippy dog with me the night I decided to anger a rather large foot ball player.) But you know, we all do stupid things like that in life. So what the guys at La Bamba were doing was, in my opinion, forgiv able. And I was willing to let it go and, being true to my journal istic nature, crouch in the corner like a frightened piglet and observe. But when 1 heard the “let’s take it outside” phrase, something came over me. For some crazy reason, 1 felt like I needed to intervene. Matt Haney/DN So I eased in between the two groups and nervous ly hung my fingers into my thighs. I tried to settle things the best way I knew how. But when the belching competition failed to produce the sat isfaction of a knock-down brawl, 1 resorted to words. And you folks know.wjtqt? They worked - or at feast I thipk.they did. Sure, maybe nothing would have happened anyway. All I know is that things sure calmed down after 1 spoke to them. I told the Nebraska dudes to relax. I said that as spokesmen for the University of Nebraska, they knew better than to act like that. Besides, the Kansas people were just sore because they lost. And when the Husker fans left, I apologized to the Wildcats. I told them they played a good game, and that I was sorry for the problem. They were all actually pretty nice peo ple when they weren’t A yelling at each other. I didn’t care how the almost-altercation start ed. I just didn’t want to see one. Thankfully, I didn’t. And I left La Bamba that night feel ing as though 1 had done sometlftrtg^ really good^p !\4/ "•because usually when I’m intoxicat ed and leave restau rants, I feel like I have done something illegal. As far as Fm concerned, 1 could n’t be happier if I never saw another fight. I don’t even want to see people wanting to fight. It really scares file now how quickly some people are tyrllmg to hur| each otherovLgrnoth^ •• ..7,So. does itHfejHi&Ke me a wuss^l$ You bet it does, at least as far as my lJt dad is concerned. But it also makes me (and every other wuss who’s smart enough to walk away) a wiser and cooler wuss. And most importantly, we’re wusses without lisps. DANIEL MUNKSGAARD is a sophomore English and philosophy major and a Daily Nebraskan colum nist. Back around the beginning of my freshman year, I ran into a friendly acquaintance 1 knew from high school. Glad to see a face 1 knew after being swarmed by 20,000 faces I did n’t know, I asked how she was doing and where she was living. She gave me an odd look, then aaiu, i wiuw yuu ic piuuauiy guuig to look down on me for this, but I’m living in a sOrority.” Now the fact that she was in a sorority didn’t surprise me. But what did surprise me was how quickly she assumed I’d think less of her for it. I’ll admit that I don’t have a great track record as far as respecting the greek system goes. I’ve put in my share of jokes at the expense of drunken greeks, and my own experi ence with a few of the fraternities on campus has been, shall we say, less than positive. I’m referring specifical ly to the fraternity members who beat the living daylights out of me a little more than two years ago because I “looked like a fag.” But that was an isolated incident, andmost of my crit icisms of greeks centered on the fact ip v \ . <* Greeks vs. geeks Both sides can learn from each other that they just seemed odd to me. Innocent enough. On the other hand, I was living in the honors dorm at the time. Who’s easier to look down on: Hoards of young women clapping and singing in unison for bizarre induction rituals, or dozens of computer geeks screaming at each other while playing video games that are hooked up to speakers so large the floor literally shakes? We’ve all got social habits that can easily be looked down upon by others. In the end, I figured greeks and geeks only have a one-letter differ ence, so where was the tension com ing from? The tension, it turns out, is com ing from, on one side, a rather vocal segment of the student population that has had a bone to pick with the greek system for a long time. And on the other, we have a greek system loyal to its ideals and willing to defend itself. Some of the grievances are philo sophical, but a lot of them have turned personal. It’s easy for the folks in the (pseudo) intellectual crowd (a group I fuHy confess to being part of) to tar get the greeks as an example of mind less conformity. And they do raise several legitimate issues, ranging from such minor but annoying mat ters as the incredibly tacky sight of house after house covered in toilet f ■ \. u— We ve all got social habits that can easily be looked down upon by others. In the end, Ifigured greeks and geeks only, have a one letter difference, so where was the tension coming from? ” , __- ' ' ' ' - •' V, * - _ paper, to the much more serious issues involving the homophobic, sexist and even rape-encouraging atti tudes displayed by certain, and I emphasize certain, fraternities. But instead of approaching these problems by working together with and respecting the members of our fraternity and sorority groups, most critics have degenerated to inflamma tory name-calling and even crying for an end to the greek system. This last part, in particular, is self defeating. First of all, every one of the problems attributed to greek houses, specifically binge drinking and sexual assault, occur all over campus. If we’re going to eliminate prob lems by cutting off the oiganization factor, we may as well shut the uni versity down. Second, fraternities and sororities are far too active in the university to shut them down - not without raising some serious issues. And before someone suggests that booting them out of the student government would be a good thing, let me say that 1 understand the frustration expressed by people who notice that the Association^ Students of the University of Nebraska representa tives are almost entirely greek, despite the fact that greeks are a minority on campus. But guess what folks? That’s because they vote. If the non-greek majority of the student body doesn’t take part jh the elections, it’s their own fault. The voter turnout at ASUN elections the last few years is nothing short of pathetic. I don’t like it anymore than you do, but if the greeks are the only ones who care enough to take part, then they’ve earned the right to run the stu dent government. Again, I’ve never had a particular fondness for fraternities. I really doubt there’s one I would fit in to, and that kind of thing just doesn’t appeal to me. But that’s me. Just because I have no reason to go for that doesn’t mean someone else shouldn’t. 1 can really understand why people would want to have a place where they can be immediately surrounded by friendly faces and a definite social structure, as opposed to striking out into a faceless and largely unsympathetic student body. Religious organizations know this, which is why you can't swing a dead cat without hitting some salvation preacher during the first week of classes. And it’s that unsympathetic stu dent body that probably has the most to answer for. 1 know it’s hard to expect unity with such a large number of students, but I know of universities even larger than ours that have better attitudes. Before we start attacking the one group on campus that seems to have some sense of unity, let’s try and offer up a viable alternative. They may have their flaws, but we could proba bly stand.to learn something from them. . ' > Up: