_Sonia_ -
HOLLIMON-STOVALL
Parting shots
Reflections on cdumn; graduating senior bids adieu
It’s amazing how a rebellious
freshman turns into a grateful,
reflective senior. It’s a long process,
unfortunately, but long processes
seem to be the only kind that teach
, us lessons.
When Doug Kouma, the DN
editor, asked me if I had ever
thought about writing an opinion
column a year ago, I never thought
that it would be such a rewarding
experience, but it’s an opportunity I
never would have passed up —
although I wonder what it was that
prompted him to ask me in the first
place. Must have been my big mouth
in that class we had together.
One of the most important
lessons I’ve learned is that asking
for help is a sign of strength, not
weakness. I’ve asked for a lot of
help this past year, and to everyone
who gave it, thank you. I especially
want to acknowledge Peter, my
philosophy teaching assistant.
I’ve written about a lot of subjects
over the past year, and what I had to
say wasn’t always popular but guess
what — sometimes I wrote stuff just
to make you mad. And it worked! So
thanks for writing in — suckers!
When I entered the College of
Journalism and Mass Communica
tions in — oh well, the year really
doesn’t matter, does it? I was ready
to take on the world. Fight every
sexist remark and rock the collective
world.
At this point in time, I’ll be
grateful just to make it through
finals.
Don’t misunderstand, there are
still worlds to be rocked and I still
plan to get to them, but now I have a
different perspective on how to go
about it. I mean, you don’t need a
water gun for everything...
I can’t believe that this is my last
column. I feel as though I’ve been
writing to a few thousand friends for
the past nine months, friends that
have a pretty good idea of who I am,
because I think we’ve shared quite a
bit. I hope that when you read my
column you were able to relate to at
least a few things I had to say. I
hope you nodded your head in
agreement or laughed at what a
witty girl I am. If you didn’t do
those things, you probably tossed the
paper aside in disgust — that
happens when you read the DN
sometimes, anyway, but you know
what I mean.
If you’re a freshman, or new here
and just starting out, you have an
idea of what you think is going to
happen while you’re here. The babe
of your dreams you hope to meet, the
grades you’re going to earn. Here’s
some free advice.
Things don’t always turn out the
way you think they will. Not the
most profound statement you may
have ever heard, but still, it’s the
troth. When I was a pipsqueak
moving into- Smith Residence Hall a
millenia ago, I never thought it
would take me so long to get out of
here, or that when I did, I would be
doing it holding a baby carrier.
But then I think, if I hadn’t taken
so long to get done, I may never
have had that class with Doug, and
then I wouldn’t have had the
opportunity to broadcast my humble
opinion to you all.
You lucky cats, you.
Before I make my grand exit,
allow me to rub something in — I
have a job! I have a job! I have a
job! And guess what? It pays for
child care. Hot dog!
Thanks, UNL. I hope that
because of our acquaintance, neither
one of us will ever be the same.
Love, Sonia Ayanna Marie
Marguerita Hollimon-Stovall.
Sonia Hollimon-Stovall is a
graduating broadcasting major
and a Daily Nebraskan columnist.
Good luck in life.
u
When I entered the College of Journalism
and Mass Communications in — oh well,
the year really doesn't matter, does it? I
was ready to take on the world."
It’s that time of year; flowers are
blooming, pollen is painting the
sidewalks and the birds are singing
away.
It’s also the time when love is in
the air.
But it’s not all rose petals, poetry
and body chocolates.
No, summer also exposes the
breed of men and women that can
only be called... the “X.”
Ahh yes, those reminders from
our past when love was somehow
lost. When hearts were trampled,
feelings tattered and restraining
orders issued.
It happens to all of us at some
point or another. It’s almost an
unwritten rule that you must be
dumped at least twice to find a
decent relationship.
And if you want a “great”
relationship, then make it four
times. Oh, and for a relationship
with “the one”—you must be
dumped more times than a dump
truck can dump in a week.
Now that’s a tongue tw'ster: “Can
you be dumped more times than a
dump truck can dump?”
Anyway, with each “dumping”
you are left with something far more
Kasey
KERBER
Somewhere out there
Spiteful vengeance blossoms from lost love
than a crushed heart. You are left
with a mortal enemy.
Well, most of the time. Some
people manage to leave relationships
as friends, but very few. The rest of
us experience what I like to call
“The X Factor.”
Now if you’re not sure if you’re
experiencing “The X Factor,” ask
yourself these simple three ques
tions:
1. Did someone dump you or did
you dump someone?
2. Do you avoid this person at all
costs?
3. Did you key his or her car,
place a strip of sandpaper under his
or her car door handle with scotch
tape and write “Pimp Daddy” on the
windshield with a permanent
marker?
If you answered yes for the first
two questions, you’re experiencing
“The X Factor.” If you said yes for
the third question — I’M GOING
TO GET YOU DANG IT! IT STILL 1
HURTS TO TYPE AND I HAVE 1
TO LOOK THROUGH “PIMP”
EVERY TIME I DRIVE TO <
CLASS! i
When it canes to “The X ]
Factor,” there are three ways to <
handle the problem between you and !
your ex. ]
First off, you can get along with
limited contact. Next — you can get 1
back together. Lastly, you can kill
him or her and hope that no one 1
discovers the body.
And since the last two options are
either taboo or illegal, I advise the
first option.
But be civil about it. “Limited
ontact” doesn’t mean prank phone
alls at 3 a jn. that say nothing more
han: “Who’s the plastic gal lying
text to you?”
Let’s face it, if you make a phone
all like that then you’re simply,
veil... SICK! YOU’RE SICK AND
’M GOING TO GET YOU ONE
)F THESE TIMES DANG IT! OH
JURE, HIDE BEHIND YOUR
:OOTBALL PLAYER BOY
FRIEND NOW, BUT HE WON’T
PROTECT YOU WHEN FOOT
BALL STARTS UP AGAIN! HA
BA HA!
Oh yeah, the main point: Lost
Love.
• •
Well, basically I look at lost love
as something we all have to put up
Matt Haniy/DN
with to reach the final goal of true
love. If we break a few hearts, have
a few hearts broken or have to dodge
a few cars that pull up onto a
sidewalk, then that’s part of the
“healing” process.
But the point is to keep going:
even if you don’t manage to dodge
too well.
Love is around the comer —
somewhere. Just make sure she or he
doesn’t know where you park, live
or eat.
Then you’ll surely be safe.
At least until football season
starts.
Kerber is a sophomore news
editorial major and a Daily
Nebraskan columnist
