Patrick
MACDONALD
The great beyond
Purpose of death is to make life more cherished
As a parent, one of my most
difficult tasks is to explain to my
children why things happen. I can
fall back on my considerable
knowledge of science to help me
deal with questions like “Why is the
sky blue?” or ‘Why do leaves fall
from the trees in the fall?”
Now I have to face the challenges
of answering questions like “Why do
people act the way they do?” or the
most difficult question of all “Why
do things have to die?”
I was confronted with this
question recently in dealing with the
loss of a pet. Like any other member
of the family, pets share in your
good moments and help comfort you
in more troubling times. This
particular pet was a cat that had
lived with us for almost 10 years.
She shared in the good times and the
bad and provided comfort to every
member of my family. She will be
sorely missed.
My son is taking this loss
especially hard. Sure, he has seen
death on a limited scale in the loss
of a fish or an occasional hamster,
but they don’t really survive long
enough to create a lasting bond.
They don’t rub up against you,
purring and meowing, begging for
attention. They don’t respond to
your emotions and jump into your
lap or lick your hand to lend moral
support.
So how do you explain to a child
the concept of life and death? How
do you comfort him when he feels he
has lost such a close friend?
Like anyone else, I would draw
on my past experiences. I would
study my feelings regarding death
and try to establish a means to
explain why this had to happen and
what good will crane from it.
I remembered my maternal
grandmother’s painful death to
cancer, a close personal friend dying
of a heart attack while serving in the
Navy and the lost pets I cherished as
a child. The experience that helped
me deal best with my son’s feelings
was the loss of my favorite pet to a
fire.
I remember vividly the firefighter
apathetically carrying my friend by
the tail from our burnt home and
dropping her lifeless body on the
ground. I spent several stunned
moments pondering why this
happened, then got to the task of
giving her a proper burial — one
that a good friend would truly
deserve.
Had I known then what I know
now about Viking funerals, I would
have carried her body to the creek
that ran behind our home, built a
small raft, placed her lovingly on the
raft, set it afire, then prayed that she
would welcome me as a Valkyrie
when I someday made my own way
to Valhalla.
As it stood, I had to settle for
burying her in my backyard,
muttering some magic words to
release her spirit and spending
several hours crying beside her
crude grave.
Realizing how much these simple
actions had helped me deal with my
own loss, I now approached my son
to explain death. I try to tell him
about the cycle of life and how
everything that lives must die
someday so that they can move on to
a better place. I tell him about Cat
Heaven, a place where cats are never
chased by dogs, the food and water
are always plentiful and little sisters
aren’t there to torment them or pull
their tails.
Most important, I have to
understand his feelings and let him
have the time to grieve. Like my
own situation, he will never truly get
over the pain or the feelings of loss,
but he will learn to accept them,
someday. Until that day comes, all I
can do is listen to how he is feeling,
provide a shoulder to cry on and
support him as any parent would.
So, why do things die? Well, son,
things die so that they can be
remembered and praised by future
generations. Death is necessary to
free our loved ones from pain and
suffering and allow them to move on
to a better place where the food and
drink are plentiful and debates are
on a friendlier scale. But most of all,
death is necessary so we will
appreciate the value of our own
lives.
To my pet, I hope to see you in
Valhalla someday. Rest in peace.
MacDonald is a freshman
electrical engineering major and a
Daily Nebraskan columnist.
U-:
So how do you explain to a child the
concept of life and death ? How do you
comfort him when he feels he has lost
such a close friend?”
Aaron Steckelberg/DN
Jessica
KENNEDY
Women’s Club
Responses varied on the meaning of what <md> is
Calling to order the first meeting
of the Real Woman Club — a club
dedicated to advancing acceptance
of the non-Cosmo woman.
Women who walk to the beat of
their own drum. Females who are
comfortable being themselves and
resist society’s attempts to fit them
into neat and tidy little categories.
Real women stand up for what
they believe in and aren’t afraid to
cry in public — if that’s what they
want to do. Nor do they have to put
down men and masculinity to be
strong. Real women are strong
because of their essence and the
experiences that have shaped them.
In an attempt to truly represent
what makes up a real woman, I
solicited suggestions from female
friends and family. As the responses
rolled in, I was amazed and
humbled at the breadth of experi
ences that these women have had.
Experiences that have shaped their
life philosophies and outlooks on the
world.
The best came from Mom, who,
as always, is a fountain of inspira
tion.
She writes, “A real woman is one
who doesn’t get pissed when her
preppie daughter mocks her jean
dresses and Birkenstocks in a DN
column.”
Point well taken, Mom.
I’d like to share some other
tidbits of real women wisdom. The
thoughts that follow come from
women like you and me, from our
mothers and aunts, teachers and
bosses. Take them either at surface
value or read them for more.
“Real women don't deny their
femininity for the sake of participat
ing in a male-dominated society.
Real women are capable, strong
beings who can admit they’ve
learned their grandmother’s recipes,
as well as their grandfather’s love oj
hunting or football. ’’
“Real women are masculine,
feminine, bitchy, kind, proud,
humble, opinionated, quiet, the
cheerleaders and the players — all
at the same time. ’’
“A real woman doesn’t worry
about how messy her house is when
her mother — or mother-in-law —
drops in. ”
“A real woman doesn’t need to
claim credit for every ‘good deed’
she does or helping hand she gives. ”
“A real woman knows actions
speak louder than words — she
backs up her words with actions. "
"A real woman accepts the color
of her skin, the color of her hair, the
size of her body without trepidation
and with open arms. ’’
One real woman writes, "As I
write this, I have not shaved my legs
in exactly five days; the glare from
my white legs blinded another
person on O Street this morning,
and no fingernails impede my
speedy typing. ”
"As far as I’m concerned, a teal
woman is someone who continues to
love unconditionally, even though
she finds that few people are willing
to love her in the same manner. ”
“A real woman knows that she is
a queen — that despite her outward
appearance, her emotional flaws,
her intellectual shortcomings, she is
and always will be a queen above
all. "
"I think what makes us all real
women is that we have fragile self
esteems — the biggest road block to
our happiness. ’’
"I think all strong women have
an innate knack for loving, and it’s
other people who choose not to see
us as accepting, forgiving, loving
HUMAN BEINGS."
«
Real women stand up for what they
believe in and aren’t afraid to cry in
public — if that’s what they want to do.
Nor do they have to put down men and
masculinity to be strong.”
Real women know the difference
between love and sex "
“Real women aren’t afraid to buy
birth control, are familiar with their
bodies, say no to sex if they don’t
want it and know who is important
in their lives."
“Real women don’t wake up in
the morning with perfect hair or
skin. ”
“I think I’m a real woman
because when I need clean under
wear, instead of doing laundry, I just
buy more."
“A real woman decides, after
much thought, what her priorities in
life will be and will let no circum
stance or person twist them. ”
For my mother, her priority was
family. She didn’t work outside the
home; when society told her she
should be a working woman,
juggling power suit and spatula, she
continued to bake cookies and give
out kisses.
“A real woman knows the
difference between the love of her
life and the man she s going to
marry. ”
Real women pledge—to
themselves and other real women —
to leave time to discover who they
are, to celebrate what they’ve
become, to refuse to be pushed and
pulled by society’s demands, to
celebrate in the truths they’ve
discovered.
Real women are just that: real.
They know when to roll up their
sleeves, use a little elbow grease,
when to ask for help and when to do
it themselves.
Kennedy is a senior advertising
and broadcasting major and a
Daily Nebraskan columnist
