Sonia_
HOLLIMON-STOVALL
Changing parts
Birth, spring means out with old, in with new
I broke out the Calvin Klein jeans
the other day, but after five minutes
of debate, I put them right back in
the chest they came out of. It’s only
been two weeks, so maybe I’m
pushing it a little
bit.
I have to be
careful not to
speak to people
in that sing
songy baby voice
that I use for
Samaria. I have
two job inter
views this week
and I’m afraid I’ll say something
like, “Mommy is really interested in
this position — YES, SHE IS!
Mommy thinks her skills would
really be an asset in this position —
THAT’S RIGHT!”
I used to be cool, but the times,
they are a-changing.
Now my identity has been taken
over by this third person “Mommy”
— Sonia is somewhere on vacation,
I guess, because the last time I saw
her, she was in labor. Well, I guess
she deserves it.
My mother has become a guru in
my eyes—where did she learn all
of this stuff and can I possibly order
the book?
I have to exert a certain amount
of self-control these days and make
sure I don’t take a comer of my
shirt, snag a little saliva and reach
for the closest dirty face around me.
As my DN co-worker Ann Stack
says, “Mother’s saliva must be
magic or something. Got sane rust
on your car? Here, let me get that for
you.”
Another thing I’ve learned is that
Bill Cosby was right. About every
thing. I knew I should have taped
that show when I had the chance.
To misquote the Beatles, “Sud<?
denly, I’m not half the girl I used to
be — I’m more like a walking dairy
farm.”
The best part is, I’m also a secret
weapon. If you make me mad, guess
what — I’ll squirt ya. That really
makes me laugh.
Since springtime is usually hailed
as a time for new beginnings, it
seems fitting that my life is chang
ing right now. New baby, graduation
and for the first time ever, I have na
run out and bought the latest cute
little dresses in die new spring line,
but never fear — I’ll be out showing
off my sexy gams in no time flat.
Most people really don’t like to
change, and, in the past, I was
definitely one of them. College, for
example, has been such a safe
harbor; the idea of leaving used to
throw me into a panic — where
would I go, what would I do? Who
would give a damn?
Someone wise told me once that
if you think of change as a constant
part of life, then it isn’t as difficult
to deal with. It’s true, if you think
about it. At least then, if things
aren’t going the way you hoped, you
WrSjm*
MattHaney/DN
can count on your circumstances
changing.
Embrace change with open arms
this year during this season of joyous
transition — I look forward to my
body changing back to normal, to
my daughter sleeping through the
night and to the adventures awaiting
me in the wonderful world of work.
Hollimon-Stovall is a senior
broadcasting major and a Daily
Nebraskan columnist.
Kasey
KERBER
System error
New technology demands quick university action
Last week, we learned that UNL
will be the last of the University of
Nebraska campuses to receive
“Lotus Notes” e-mail technology.
To be exact, the DN printed an
article on the
“Lotus Notes”
situation last
Wednesday ...
which also
happened to be
around the same
time I read
“View the
schedule of
BIGRED
lYaining Classes?” for the 2,683rd
time.
And it was also on Wednesday
that bigred told me “Your Password
Will Expire May 1” for the 1,892nd
time.
Oh, and I almost forgot — bigred
also said I had exceeded my “user
disk quota” and gave me an ultima
tum of seven days to alleviate the
problem.
And as I leaned back in my chair,
I thought to myself: “Gee, and I get
to see all this before I read my e
mail. How could anyone be upset
about keeping bigred?”
Anyone with a pulse that is.
Although I’m pretty sure that the
dead would also be upset with
bigred, too.
I can just see Elvis typing away
in the union computer lab at 3 a.m.,
cursing honky-tonk because bigred
told him his “PeanutButterand
BananaSandwich” password has too
many characters in it.
But beyond the occasional
sighting of Elvis beating up a
computer with his guitar, it is the
world of the living that must put up
with bigred.
And “putting up with” is pre
cisely the right phrase to use when it
comes to bigred.
Now, before some of you get
those pens and papers ready for
“Letters to the Editor,” I will say
that bigred provides a valuable
service to students for no additional
cost.
But I will also say that there are
few students who wouldn’t cough up
the necessary two bucks to gain an
e-mail system where they can be
known as their name and not
0020838638383662819@bigred.unl.edu.
Let’s be honest—who the heck’s
going to remember your e-mail
address when it has nearly as many
numbers as a grocery market UPC
code?
But with “Lotus Notes,” you can
customize your name (to a certain
degree for the creatively wicked).
Kent Hendrickson, associate vice
chancellor of information services,
wrote a “Letter to the Editor” last
Friday explaining that the tiresome
numerical e-mail address system
will be replaced when Lotus Notes is
finally used.
But as Mr. Hendrickson talked
about the “cumbersome numerical
system,” I noticed that another set of
“numbers” was strangely absent
from his eight-paragraph letter. A
date of when Lotus Notes will
actually be available to UNL
students.
Let’s be honest — if the univer
sity keeps up with technology as it
has in the past, we’ll be passing our
bigred accounts on to our children.
Technology just doesn’t happen
fast at UNL. Just look at the crap,
eh, computers, in the residence hall
computer labs or the dearth of
computers in the student union.
Or the grandaddy of them all —
the elimination of UNL’s modem
pool.
The main line—we’re not
gaining ground when it comes to
anything computer-related. And
bigred is certainly included.
But if the university wants to do
students a real favor, it will install a
Matt Haney/DN
quality e-mail program like Lotus
Notes and it will do it fast.
Until then it will gripe about the
costs and the inconvenience it will
cause and will claim that what we
have “really isn’t that bad.”
But anyone involved with
computer technology knows that it
changes fast.
And they also know one effec- '
tively blunt fact, which is: If you
don’t give a damn about technology
today, it won’t give a damn about
you tomorrow.
So give a damn UNL—and
today.
Kerber is a sophomore news
editorial major and a Daily
Nebraskan columnist.