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Borderline
U.S., Mexico relations
aflkxtdnig trafficking
From The San Diego Union-Tribune
It was no coincidence that threats by
Mexican drug mobsters to kill a U.S. cop
came at about the same time as an American
decision on whether to certify Mexico’s anti
drug efforts.
Nobody would benefit more from in
creased antagonism between the United States
and Mexico than the drug dealers, and that
means no one would have benefited more from
decertification than they would have. Re
cently, President Clinton wisely decided to
continue engagement with Mexico.
The drug dealers’ threat to kill an Ameri
can law enforcement officer is clearly de
signed to sway American public opinion
against Mexico and therefore lead to disen
gagement between the two nations. Increased
friction between the United States and Mexico
would mean more chaos on the border, and
chaos is the best setting for the drug trade.
Mexican drug lords are brutal and cyni
cal enough to try to cany out their threat.
That’s why American law enforcement agents,
from San Diego police to FBI agents, need to
be extremely careful, especially if they’re trav
eling in Mexico.
At the same time, the American public
needs to understand that building walls —
literally or figuratively—between the United
States and Mexico plays right into the hands
of drug dealers. Anybody who thinks the
United States shouldn’t have such close ties
with Mexico would find a sympathetic ear
among the drug lords.
Criminals don’t want scrutiny and atten
tion. Mexican drug lords prefer to bribe gov
ernment and law enforcement officials in se
cret. Although the drug cartels may seem to
be acting with impunity in Mexico, some pres
sure is being put on them by Mexican offi
cials, with help from American law enforce
ment and die news media.
If rapprochement between Mexican and
American leaders receded, so would pressure
on the drug dealers. And that’s exactly what
they want.
Implicit in the threat by Mexican drug
gangs to kill a U.S. agent is the message that
meddling in their affairs may be dangerous.
In other words, if we leave them alone, they’ll
leave us alone. But that’s the last thing we
should do.
It would be the same as kowtowing to
terrorists. Instead, the United States needs to
step up pressure on Mexican drug lords by
increasing engagement with Mexico. By
pressing for continued political and legal re
forms there, we can make it harder for the
drug cartels to do their work.
Granted, the depth of political corruption
in Mexico is outrageous. But since there’s no
wall high enough to prevent Mexican drug
dealers from supplying U.S. demand for ille
gal drugs, we have no choice but to continue
working with Mexico to lessen corruption
there. The threat by drug cartels makes it clear
that U.S. and Mexican pressure is hurting
their business. And that’s exactly why pres
sure must be increased.
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Mehs ling’s
VIEW
Yoo
toi im
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Michael
DONLEY
American eyes a’smiling
Irish or not, drink to the day!
Once again my favorite holiday is
upon us. ST. PATRICK’S DAY! Roll
out the kegs and the green food
coloring, and let’s party! I called the
Psychic Friends Network, so I know
what you’re thinking.
“Hey, isn’t Donley the guy who
usually talks about ‘important stuff,’
like politics, the death penalty,
responsibility, etc.?...”
And you are right, but I do have a
shamrock tattooed somewhere on my
body—a very long story—so it
falls upon me to explain all of the
intricacies of the American version
of St. Patrick’s Day.
As always, if we don’t like
history, we can just rewrite it. So I
looked up all of the historical facts
about St. Patrick’s Day and rewrote
them so we can celebrate the holiday
how we want to. '
St. Patrick was bom in England
where he perfected the recipe for
green Jell-0 shots.
St. Patty was captured by Irish
raiders and forced to work as a slave
herdsman in Ireland for six years
where the Irish forced him to wear
really cheesy plastic hats with
shamrocks on them and lie to his
friends about knowing Irish tradi
tions.
Pat was ordained a bishop and
promptly went out and got drunk to
celebrate.
Because St. Patrick was a humble
man, he refused to live in the
townhouse provided by the church
for him, as a bishop. He instead
lived in a cave where he had his
private brewery and stockpile of
ugly green shirts.
St. Patrick was a “shabby and ill
dressed man suggesting a rustic
simplicity.” He needed this disguise
to hang out in vaguely “European ”
pubs, like Iguana’s, so the alcohol
ics there wouldn’t find out he was a
bishop.
Thus ends Americanized Irish
History 101.
You may say that there are some
similarities in how the Irish and
Americans celebrate this wondrous
holiday, and I agree.
The Irish —
Sing traditional songs.
Americans —
Get drunk and sing “Y-M-C-A” at
the top of their lungs.
The Irish —
Go to church to pay homage to the
blessed St. Patrick.
Americans —
Go to the bar and pay Trevor, the
bartender, for anything green and
alcoholic.
Again, I know what you are
thinking.
“We couldn’t have taken a
perfectly good religious holiday and
polluted it,” (like we did with
Christmas). And once again, you are
correct. Our particular version of St.
Patrick’s Day also has some grounds
in history.
A few centuries after St. Patrick,
some of the Irish began using March
17 to plant their crops. According to
superstition:
To make cabbage seed grow,
Sow it in your night clothes,
on March 17th.
I’m not making this up. Sometimes
fact truly is stranger than fiction.
People centuries ago actually
believed going out into their cabbage
patch and performing a sexual act
would help their crops grow.
This does not surprise me. What
surprises me is that Americans have
not taken this tradition to its logical
conclusion.
Jason Gildow/DN
I can hear it now, the newest
pick-up line: “Hey, babe, you want to
grow some cabbage?”
Funny as it may sound, it brings
new meaning to “Cabbage Patch
Kids,” doesn’t it?
Well, I guess I’ve had enough of
making fun of American tradition
for one column.
But seriously, remember that
there will probably be more inebri
ated people out tonight than during
a prom chaperoned by Boris Yeltsin.
So whether you are rubbing the
doorman’s green hair for luck at
Decadance, or if you are at Bodega’s
Alley enjoying the free food, green
beer, basketball combination — I’m
still not sure how those components
relate—above all, be safe.
If you find yourself in a cabbage
patch, I hope you have the time to
drink a toast to the real St Patrick.
Donley is a sophomore philoso
phy major and a Daily Nebraskan
columnist.