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About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (March 13, 1997)
Brent POPE f * March Madness, Baby! Important tips before dipping into the office pod Even if you’re not a basketball fan, you can smell it in the air: horsehide burning through nylon, whacked out fans and coaches screaming, players sweatin’ and talkin’ trash. Of course I’m talking about The Big Dance, Hoops Hullabaloo, Cager Craziness (ya know, the NCAA basketball tournament). And no other event makes people want to break into the piggy bank and contribute to office pools more than March Madness. But to those of you who don’t watch a lot of basketball, a warning: There are freaks out there (like me) who do virtually nothing BUT watch college hoops. And some of those people (like me) will taunt and antagonize people watching the tournament who aren’t quite as informed about all the nuances of basketball. But have no fear, your friendly neighbor hood columnist is here to at least give you the appearance of an experienced fan. Here’s some things that happen all the time during b-ball games and what these things may mean. The star player dribbles between his legs. He: A. Is showing off for the NBA scouts. B. Is trying to break down the opposing team’s defense. C. Really should get that checked out by a doctor before it gets worse. Several players run into each other and one guy falls to the floor. He is either: A. Suffering from some type of injury. B. Looking for his contact lens that fell on the court. C. The latest victim of a Rodman-ectomy. One of the coaches starts frantically giving hand gestures. He is either: A. Telling his players what defense to play. B. Showing the refs how he really feels about that last charging call. C. Warning his players: “We’re ahead by too much, start shaving points now or there’ll be no free pizza from the bookie!” The referees sprint off the court at halftime. They are running because: A. The fans are booing them. B. “Seinfeld” is on and, damn it, they just don’t like missing “Seinfeld.” C. Those pre-game beefy burritos with extra jalapeflos are gonna leave some skid marks if they don’t make it to the bathroom pronto. The crowd boos the janitor that sweeps the court at halftime. They are booing because the custodian: A. Was blocking the crowd’s view of the halftime dance-squad show. B. Missed a big sweaty spot on the floor. C. Forgot the popular basketball tradition of dropping his pants at halfcourt. The players sitting on the bench start clapping loudly when the other team calls a timeout. They are cheering because: A. Their team has the momentum. B. It’s the only time they get to stand up during the game. C. They are so close to the court that they can see right up the cheerleaders’ skirts. A naked man runs onto the court scream ing. This fan is either: A. Excited that his team won. B. Drank too many of those “March Madness Margaritas” before the game. C. Representing the small College of Rumpley, whose mascot is “Chester thejfuck Naked Fat Guy.” So fill out your tournament brackets, sit back with a cold beverage of your choice, and watch the games unfold with the knowledge that you are now an informed basketball fan. Oh, and I almost forgot — here’s some phrases you can yell out during the course of the games to impress your buddies: “Get a T-0 baby, put it up, give him the squirrel brains, get him off his back, count it, run Forrest run, he’s camping in there, his feet weren’t set, watch out for that bar of soap, feed the big man, come on stripes, I don’t do that on the first date, give him a suitcase, over the back, lick the Popsicle!” (Actually, not all of those phrases are part of basketball lingo, but it IS called March Madness, so who the hell’s gonna notice?) Pope is a senior broadcasting major and a Daily Nebraskan columnist. I Matt Haney/DN Guest VIEW At the crossroads Incident enough to make one wonder about life An interesting thing happened to me last Friday. At about 10:30 a.m., I was riding my bike home on R street — heading east. At the intersection of 18th and R streets, a white ’80s Mustang rolled through a stop sign and almost hit me. I started yelling, “Whoa!” several times to get the driver’s attention. Maybe someone was looking out for me, but what ensued after this is the reason I’m writing. I stopped at the opposite comer and looked back. The young woman driving said something that definitely was not an apology. Perhaps it was the rush of adrenaline — or more precisely that I was almost killed — but I replied to her verbal observation of the incident with my own choice words. Those I can assure you were not complimentary. I also pointed out that legally I had the right of way. She responded with words I gathered weren’t very pleasant either. I thus felt the need to reiterate my original rejoin der. True, it wasn’t very classy, but I was in - the right and was almost killed. As she sped away she decided to take the argument to a level that wasn’t necessary. She used a word that had no business in the context of our disagreement. She called me a nigger. Mind you she did this as she sped away, like most cowards who would use this word, black or white, would do. I wasn’t as upset as I was surprised that someone would actually use this word to try to demoralize me. I know it happens; this isn’t a new experience by any stretch. Yet it was a surprise nonetheless that the word would come up. Was this young woman so angry, flustered, simple-minded etc., that this it Sadly, she tried to rob me of any dignity that I might have by using that word. That's the power one word contains." was the best way she thought she could win the argument? Did her particular emotional state excuse the use of the word? “Does it matter?” would be the more appropriate question. Did the color of her or my skin play a part in the incident whatso ever? My concern is not so much how that made me feel, but how many other white students at this campus would ascent to using such a word where it is not warranted? Not that I’ve found any such incident where the word is warranted at all. How many white students would have voiced dissent if they were at the scene and the word was used? Wouldn’t “asshole” or “dickhead” have been adequate enough to express her anger? The word nigger is a word used to describe, denigrate and dehumanize black people as a whole. This goes for ANYONE who uses it. Other words can often describe people’s behavior at a specific moment or maybe their personality. “Nigger” has a special meaning. It is a word of power, overt repression and severe hate. Did that situation warrant the calling forth of such extreme loathing? By using that word she tried to categorize mine and all black people’s existence into one of complete subhuman stagnation. All this because she ran the stop sign. I think many bike riders would have left the situation, cursed a little under their breath, been happy they were alive and moved on. I don’t think they would try to categorize the driver as some sort of animal, unworthy of even a semblance of human respect or dignity. If riders did this, they’d be spending quite a bit of time hating drivers. That would be a great expenditure of energy. What would I really like to get out of this? Not much really — an apology, I think, would be appropriate. I apologize to you, the driver, whoever you are. It must have been an accident. What do you think? Was I right in cursing at her? No, not really. Was she right in running the sign or being mad at me for her mistake? No, not at all. The thing is — and this is really the heart of the matter — if she wouldn’t have said that last word I would’ve forgotten about it. I would have chalked it up to another near death experience on my bike and went on my way. Sadly, she tried to rob me of any dignity that I might have by using that word. That's the power one word contains. This I refuse to $ let her do; my dignity does not rest on blithering ignorants. Even in this writing, I still don’t understand why she said it. To the driver, you know who you are. You know that according to traffic laws I had the right of way. I only hope that maybe some where in your mind and in your heart you know that what you said was wrong. If not, then I fear for all of us. Doug Nading is a senior secondary education major. Wmw Hft\ Aaron SteckelberoDN