*1 *1 Family, friends support new mother “There's nothing you can't tell your parents. Sure, they're going to get frustrated and angry, but at the same time, they're always going to love you no matter what." '• ' ^Sp- ' 'Kim Coffeen - GRACE from page 7 what was best for Kim. “We fight. We all talk at the same time. We scream and yell,” Buchan said. “But we really, really love each other. Deep down, we love each other.” Driving it home That love was about to be tested. “I knew the one person she did not want to hurt in the whole world was her dad,” Marcia said. “When we got down to the hospital, I didn’t know what his reaction was going to be.” On the way down, the family dis cussed plans for the baby. Marcia ini tially sided with adoption. Carla even offered to quit her job and raise the baby for Kim. And both said Bob would not let go of his own flesh and blood, saying, “She’s a Coffeen. And we don’t give Coffeens away.” They brought their inhibitions, anxiety and shock into the hospital room to greet a very pale, and very scared, Kim. Then Katherine Grace was brought in. “Kim and I just started bawling,” Marcia said. “My only child, my baby, just had a baby.” Marcia, though moved by the sight of her granddaughter, made it very clear to her daughter that if she wanted to keep the baby, her mother would help, but Kim had to raise her. Kim’s decision wasn’t cemented, however, until she brought her father down from the pedestal on which she kept him and freed the bounds of un conditional love. Marcia and her sister left the room. Pride without prejudice ~ Bob Coffeen’s father grew up dur ing the Depression. Bob said his father taught him early what it meant to make the best of a situation. As a young man with a pregnant wife, Bob was laid off from his job at Union Pacific. He turned to his and his wife’s family for help and also learned early the value of family. “Kim and Marcia have been my whole life,” he said. “Everything I’ve done has been for them.” Bob had high goals for his daugh ter. He said he always trusted her to do the right thing. His pride in Kim’s going to college in Lincoln was vis ible by the walls of Husker parapher nalia in the basement of the family’s home. His pride in his daughter also was evident in the way she held him in such high regard. And his pride did not waver in that hospital room. He reassured his daughter he would support her in whatever decisions she made, and that her health and well-be ing were his primary concerns. But he was still disappointed. “I think I’ve failed as a father if I put that much pressure on my daugh ter if she couldn’t have come to us,” he said. “That’s my disappointment. That I’ve been that kind of father, for whatever reason, my child felt she couldn’t come to me.” Knowing his daughter held him high on a pedestal, Bob brought Kim up from her well of fear and taught her how a family can build. “I can’t put two boards together. I have no talent with my hands,” he said, “but I fix things. “This is just another opportunity for me to fix a situation.” Bob admits getting a phone call dial his daughter just had a baby forced him to take a softer approach to die situa tion than if Kim would have told him in September that she was pregnant. “The conversation would have started with, ‘What the hell are ycnr doing? You can’t raise this baby,’ but the shock would have worn off. “... We wouldn’t have thrown her off each wall of this house ... no way in the world would we say, ‘You’re out of the will. Get out of here. We’ll never see you again.’” The news of a baby should be treated with joy, and, as such, Bob said he en joys being a grandparent. He calls him self “grandpa” and jokingly banters with his wife, whom he now calls “granny.” Bob came from a small family. His parents are deceased, and his immedi ate family is now small, he said, so he was excited for a grandchild so soon. An extra stocking on the mantle or an extra plate at Thanksgiving fulfilled his desire for a larger family, he said. “Just think how fun the holidays are going toiler’ he said. Two for one Bob’s family may have to buy two. Christmas stockings instead of one, though. In addition to a granddaugh ter, he may soon have a son-in-law. On Valentine’s Day, Clete slipped an engagement ring on Kim’s finger. The ring had belonged to Kim’s grand mother. Clete just turned 24, and Kim will be 19 in June. They plan on marrying in June of next year. But with family support, they’re trying to build their own family. Without Clete, Kim and her secret were alone. Their telephone conversa tions calmed her, she said. But one phone call wasn’t as calm ing. Clete was working at Sutherlands in Omaha—where the couple met two years ago — on the Saturday morning after the birth. Kim called him at about 7:30. She had a baby. She was keeping it. He had to come down and sign pa ternity papers. “I was in a world of shock,” Clete said. “I was paranoid, and I didn’t want to tell anybody.” On the phone, Clete told Kim, “Well, that’s your problem Kim. I want nothing to do with this baby,” and said he wasn’t coming. Clete’s driver’s license is suspended. To get down to Lincoln, he would have to tell his mother. Instead, he went to a basketball game with his nephew. “I did not accept being a father at that point, because I felt like I was los ing my life,” he said. “I saw my entire life flash in front of my eyes, thinking all the things I’ve never done I’ll never do.” After Marcia threatened to call Clete’s mother, Darlene Spencer, Clete went to face her himself. Clete’s father passed away last Oc tober, and he said he wasn’t looking forward to throwing any more turmoil into his mother’s life. Darlene;said she was obviously shocked, and scolded her son for not being responsible, but they wasted no time in getting on the road to Lincoln. She said she did not know why her son or Kim — who she said she treats as4 her own daughter — did not tell her earlier. “I would have been there for them,” *' ■ she said. “Both families have so much to give.” ^ Bob said Clete “initially didn’t come to bat” ^ -r A; :f ;^m thought he wasn’t going to ^^^itemity,” he said. “Thatwas >' “JB8amom didn’t say, ‘We’D get a lawyer and fight thisthing,’ or kick him put^e was cordiU to ton,” and Clete Now Bob, Kijtn and Marcia say Clete’s deniatwasonly a lapse. - Clete sayQ^pgpse ended when he walked into the hospital room and saw “I looked at her and I thought, T can’l; give her up.’ I just decided it was time to stop being stubborn.” j Sitting next to his fiancee on the