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About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (March 6, 1997)
Anne HJERSMAN Homeless and fancy-free? Empathy tours trivialize street-life troubles « To walk the same streets as the homeless is not to know the devastation they have faced — the hopelessness they feel.” go-lucky grins reminiscent of a Disneyland commercial. And the caption reads: “Bum ming around.” Talk about adding insult to injury. Have we really become this calloused? Somehow I don’t envision your average homeless person seeing his or her plight as an adventure to be “embarked upon.” And to suggest that all a homeless person does is wander aimlessly from soup kitchen to soup kitchen is ludicrous — not at all laughable, but absolutely absurd. The idea of spoiled travelers slipping their pedicured feet into the shoes of people who know no luxuries (and perhaps own no shoes) and coning out with any real understanding is nothing less than a pipe dream. To walk the same streets as the homeless is not to know the devastation they have faced — the hopelessness they feel. If these tours are to have any real impact, U a few things will have to change: First of all, participants should hand over not only their wallets but the keys to their cars, the deeds to their homes, the clothes in their closets, the food in their cupboards. They should learn what it feels like to be unable to shower or change their clothing for months at a time. They should be given a handful of plastic bags, sent out into the cold winter night and told to “stay warm” — knowing that if they were to get sick, they would have no way of paying for a doctor’s treatment. They should be robbed of their health and their happiness and told they have no worth as human beings. They should experience people going out of their way not to talk to them or look at them, occasionally tossing a tarnished coin or a ragged dollar in their direction. Then they should be sent out to find jobs — to fill out applications leaving the “home address” and “phone” spaces blank, knowing that even if employers were interested in hiring them, they would have no way of contacting them. And the tours should show no signs of ever ending. Then let’s see how quickly those “home less” tourists are able to get back on their feet. Hjersman is a senior news-editorial and English major and the night editor and a columnist for the Daily Nebraskan. Brent POPE Get your motor runnin’ Road trip ‘tips’ for pure unadulterated, zany fun Raise your middle finger if the so called “middle of the semester stress” makes you want to lop off your own head and kick it around the living room like some grotesque soccer ball. If you flipped me off, you probably have what my Uncle Yoo-hoo calls the “screaming heebeejeebees.” And if that’s the case, it’s probably time for you to get ghost, rub some pavement, go splitsville, paddle the beaver (oh wait, that’s something different). (If you’re not down with the lingo, I’m talking about getting the beep out of Dodge, pilgrim!) Unfortunately, taking a buttload of people on a road trip can create situations more volatile than a Russian bartender telling Boris Yeltsfn “I think you’ve had enough to drink.” (Unfortunately, that barteiider is no longer among the living.) So here’s a little travel guide for you and your compadres to follow when you feel the urge to make a run for the border: THE DRIVE This is the most important part of the trip. An unsuccessful drive can ruin the whole excursion. So here are some things to do instead of choking the annoying person in front of you: v 1. Come up with an interesting game to play. For example, drive side by side down the interstate with the other carload of people. (There has to be more than ono car; a road trip with only one car is lame, lame, lamefTThen have someone in the other car leir head out the window while you try ve peanut M&Ms into his or her open mouth. This is a great game, but for the love of Pete, wear your safety goggles (This is always good advice when hard candies aire being thrown at your head while traveling faster than The Flash on speed.) 2. Go to the bathroom at a rest stop and copy all the neat poems in the toilet stalls. This gives you enough witty material to last the whole trip (I never get tired of the one about the guy who’s all brokenhearted). 3. As a kid, we all got a big kick out of making semi drivers honk their horn, but as adults we require a bit more for entertain ment. Pull up next to a semi and try to climb into the cab so you can blow the horn yourself. Sure you may get a big wad of chewing tobacco in the face, but if you actually reach the horn, oh die power! HOTEL BEHAVIOR Nothing says road trip like fitting a dozen people into one expensive hotel room, but there’s a problem. That hoity-toity hotel manager with the waxed Rollie Fingers moustache doesn’t want ANY crazy college students in his hotel, lei alone two carloads. So be sure to follow these yellow brick “road, tips” to hide your real identity as a poor college kid staying in a room so full of people that you have to lube yourself up with 10W 30 oil just to get in the door. 1. Never call down to the front desk and ask for the location of the nearest bowling alley that serves beer. 2. If the bathroom’s full, wait. Don’t just go out the window. (You’re not at grandma’s house!) 3. Never attempt to sneak your buddies into the hotel by draping them in black crepe paper and making them try to pass as your shadow by crawling on the floor behind you. 4. Never go downstairs for the free * Matt Haney/DN continental breakfast and try to take the whole pot of coffee or. the entire tray of blueberry muffins. 5. And last but definitely not least, never run through the hotel lobby yelling “bring on the bitches!” THE DRIVE BACK I just have one tip here: Use any excuse possible to avoid driving home. I don’t care how you do it: Pretend to be drunk, asleep, insane — whatever ensures that you won’t be behind the wheel. Only losers drive home. * . So there you go, all you meandering folks who feel the need to blow this hot dog stand we call Lincoln, even if it’s just for a week end. Follow these instructions, and I promise you this: You’ll have more than Chevy Chase ever did on any of his vacations. Unfortunately, you also won’t get naked with cousin Eddie. Pope is a senior broadcasting major and a Daily Nebraskan columnist There’s a good lesson in the idea of walking in someone else’s shoes. I truly believe that. But there’s a lot that goes along with that philosophy, and I was aghast when I read in Newsweek that a charity group in Amsterdam is offering tourists a chance to “be” homeless for a day. In its March 10 issue, Newsweek is running a small blurb about “Voila,” the group that designed these daylong tours of the homeless scene, which are guided by “street people.” “For $24, visitors can surrender their wallets... and embark on a day of soup kitchens and aimless wandering,” the magazine reports. The writer of the short article couldn’t resist throwing in a tasteless, tongue-in-cheek parenthetical “changing into rags is op tional.” A photo just below the story shows three portly tourists downing a full meal of “homeless people’s food” and wearing happy ( Jessica KENNEDY Whatis the frequency? With that one pause, I became Jess Willard. After all, who am I to counter him? It is his show and, as far as I’m concerned, his world. ^ He is Rockett, the enigma; lion and lamb, loved and hated. At 5:30 Monday morning I embarked on one of the more interesting encounters of my broadcast career, stepping into the shoes of news/weather/sidekick babe— That Girl Charlie. And for 90 minute?, my voice reached more than three-quarters of Nebraska’s population and a good chunk of Kansas and Iowa. Encouraged by a friend’s urgings, I decided to audition for a special guest on “Rockett in the Morning” while That Girl Charlie was off on her honeymoon. With nothing to lose, DJ experience under my hat and the fact that everyone who had auditioned up to that point sucked, I went for it. “Sweet 98 ... this is Rockett in the morning... ” We talked some. I read a little piece out of Time and that was that. The after audition banter was cut short by the arrival of Channel 3 news anchor Michael Scott. That was last Wednesday. I was a little nervous, the women who auditioned after me were talented and familiar to Rockett. So, on Thursday, I sent Rockett and company a goofy little fax that basically said, “Pick me! Pick me!” On Friday, I received a call from Louis de Jardeen, the morning show producer. I was on! I was doubly excited because not only did I know Charlie from an earlier gig we had together, but also because we’re distant cousins. I was hoping that the Sweet 98 magic ran in the family. By 5:40 a.m., with a single breath and a twinkle in his eye, Rockett transformed me from Je: sica Kennedy, the girl from Lincoln, into Jess Willard — who 1 later learned was an old-time bare-knuckle boxer. Heading into the show, I’d heard all sorts of things about the infamous Rockett; he’s rude, he’s nice, he’s awesome. That’s radio: The DJ, and in this case Rockett, is anyone you want him or her to be or is whatever you perceive him or her to be. Not knowing what to believe, I went in with few expectations. I was the new girl, the unknown variable. There was no way to guess or predict how Rockett would receive me. My perception? Rockett is intensely focused on producing a quality show. And his no-holds-barred honesty could be perceived as rudeness, but for the most part he’s not out to get people. In the end, I had a great time. The “goober gallery” made me feel right at home, and it was fantastic to work with such a talented announcer as Rockett. And most importantly, I held my own. I went to bat in the big leagues and I didn’t strike out. One of the more comforting things I realized Monday (other than the knowl edge that Village Inns are hot open at 5a.m.) is that radio is still fun. After an eight-month hiatus from the air waves, my experience on Rockett renewed my love for radio and announc ing. It was great to see the in-studio banter, the off-air preparation and the incredible dedication to radio. So, my radio’s now tuned to Sweet 98. I’m a convert who’s going to try to deal with the music, just to get her daily dose of “Rockett in the Morning.” Kennedy is a senior advertising and broadcasting major and a Daily Nebras kan columnist.
