_Sonia ._
HOLLIMON-STOVALL
Radioactive fallout
Choosing single motherhood is not a tragedy
Just because it looks like I’m
shoplifting a turkey underneath my
shirt, the whole world’s gone mad.
People approaching me with open
amis aren’t giving me a hug — they
just want to
touch my tummy,
ask me when the
baby’s due and
offer me advice.
Stuff like,
“don’t hold the
baby upside
down because
then she won’t
be smart.”
Sounds pretty cozy, doesn’t it, being
treated like a cherished member of
society because of the miracle going
on inside of me.
That is, of course, until I’m found
out. There are lots of different ways
that my little “secret” is ferreted out.
Some people ask if the band on my
left hand is a family heirloom from
my husband or ask if my husband
really wanted a boy. That’s when I
give them my “madonna with child”
smile and calmly tell them no.
When they lean in for the explana
tion they believe is forthcoming, I
just look them in the eye, smile
contentedly and pat my tummy.
I believe that people would be
more understanding of my being
single and pregnant if I gave them
some sob story about a failed
marriage or a broken engagement.
For some reason, an unsuccessful
relationship is more socially
acceptable than single motherhood.
Not feeling obligated to get
married seems to make me a
member of some dank, undercover
female army, with estrogen out of
control and determined to destroy
the nuclear family.
So far I have heard I am no
longer a role model, and my status
as a single expectant mother has
placed me among the pathetic
masses, those who are destined to
struggle and mourn their ways \
through life.
Forgive me if I don’t see the
future as dismal. If Rosie O’Donnell
is to be believed, I’m downright
trendy, almost as cool as Rosie’s best
friend, the ’80s pop icon we love to
hate — Madonna.
In an excerpt from her “Vanity
Fair” diaries, Madonna states,
“Some people have suggested that I
have done this for shock value.
These are comments only a man
would make. It’s much too difficult
to be pregnant and bring a child into
this world to do it for whimsical or
provocative reasons.”
I don’t anticipate being a single
parent will at all be a trip through
Bambi’s meadow; however, I don’t
think it means I have somehow
failed. Is single parenthood some
thing that must be overcome — like
a bad cold or the chickenpox?
I find it ironic that the people
most critical of single mothers tend
to be women. Michael Jackson
didn’t get a lot of crap when he got
his former nurse pregnant and
THEN married her. (OK, OK. I’ll
take bids on whether or not HE
really got her pregnant.)
Madonna, on the other hand
received crap before she had even
gotten pregnant, just for saying she
was thinking about it, and just for
the record, I’d say she was the better
candidate.
As for the fathers in these
situations, there’s a lot of head
shaking and tongue clucking, but
other than fodder for “Montel,” no
one seems to say much. It’s still the
woman’s responsibility to keep that
nickel between her knees. Divorce,
abandonment, abuse — there may be
a few sympathetic nods in the
direction from those suffering from
those circumstances, but for the
most part, that’s about it.
So instead of allowing myself to
become dispirited or allowing
society to tack a big “A” on my
forehead, I’ll stick with those who
can offer me encouragement. And
because children are the hope of the
future, I’ll consider myself just a big
bastion of hope.
Anyone will tell you you can
catch more flies with honey — I
think the same idea holds true in
life. Why would anyone be tempted
to take advice from those who call
them moral degenerates and slit
their eyes?
The nuclear family as we knew it
— Mom, Dad, Richie and Joni — is
gone. Instead of focusing on what
type of family is best, we should
start supporting families, period.
Soon, my turkey will be done and
while I’m partially terrified, I’m
mostly thrilled. With only one more
month to go, my family is frantically
trying to decide who should have to
hold my hand during labor and
whether or not they should add extra
coverage to their policy for that
period of time. The suitcase will
soon be packed and the baby things
folded with flair and if society snubs
me — guess what? I choose not to
care.
Hollimon-Stovall is a senior
broadcasting major and a Daily
Nebraskan columnist.
u
I believe that people would be more
understanding of my being single and
pregnant if I gave them some sob story
about a failed marriage or a broken
engagement”
Kasey
KERBER
Absolutely ‘fad’ulous
Fashion gods: Armani, Lagerfeld... Hasselhoff?
I m not a fashion guru.
My idea of fashion is finding
something in my closet that doesn’t
smell or matches at least decently
enough that my outfit could become
someone’s ugly
couch pattern.
This is
not to say that I
don’t have a few
opinions on
fashion — after
reading a few
newspapers and
magazines, it’s
hard for anyone
not to.
Case in point — deodorant.
Now I think we’d all agree that
it’s fashionable to use deodorant.
But according to the Dee. 28 Parade
Magazine, students in Romania are
taking deodorant a bit too far.
They’re now wearing it on the
outside of their clothes.
And if this is not bad enough,
listen to the reasoning of this fad’s
founder, Jacob Kurblensky.
“It makes me feel as though I’m
as tough as Bern Jovi and David
HasseUioff combined.”
Huh?
You see, this is how “Baywatch”.
can be evil. Thke one over-aged
“Knight Rider,” put him on the
beach and now you’ve got a few
million Romanian students walking
around with Speed Stick caked
under their arms.
\
Or in other words, fashion has
gotten a bit crazy.
Now I’m not talking about the
fashion you see on the runway.
That’s always been crazy — high
paid models walking around in fish
nets, using barbed wire as bras and
prancing around in what appears to
be garbage bags.
I’m talking about fashion you’re
beginning to see on the street —
which is scarier yet.
Take, for example, body piercing.
I think it’s now conceivable to have
every square inch of your body
pierced—but why?
What’s so fashionable about
having enough metal attached to
your face to short circuit any metal
detector at an airport?
Besides, if body piercing is just a
fad—what are you going to do five
years from now when having your
nose pierced was cool “yesterday?”
You’re going to have holes in
your body and only a fad to explain
it with. At least with bell-bottoms,
mood rings and jelly shoes you could
throw them in some drawer and
forget about them.
But with body piercing — the
damage is permanent. You’ll have to
come up with some pretty weird
stories to explain the holes.
“Yeah it was a childhood
accident involving a sewing ma
chine. Tragic really, but I sur
vived... ”
And you’ve got to wonder where
bad fashion really starts. For many
girls out there, it starts with the
Calvin Klein Jeans Barbie.
Yes, there is actually a Barbie
doll dressed head to toe in over
priced Calvin Klein mini-jean gear.
She even has Calvin Klein under- ,
wear.
What’s next? Black and white
CK One commercials on television
with Barbie saying “It’s for you and
me....” with Ken dancing around in
the background like he's on drugs?
For me, such a Barbie doll can
only spell the eventual transforma
tion of a girl into a woman and from
a woman to a woman with Bustine
Enhancers.
Yes, this latest contribution to
fashion is in the form of two gel
filled cups that you stick into your
bra to “push up (Hie bra size.”
Sure, they do promise to feel
“lifelike,” mold to your personal
bust and your own body tempera
ture, but for me it’s sad.
It’s trying to become something
you’re not — which might very well
describe fashion in general.
Too often we’re conforming to
someone else’s style and not our
own. Whether it’s sticking an
exterior breast implant in a bra or
deodorant on the outside of our
clothes—can anyone honestly
stand back and say that we’re doing
this because it was our idea?
Aakon Srscmmiw/DN
Or are we doing it to join the
crowd?
Whatever the case — fashion
changes, fads cone and go and our
styles of dress will change as the
years roll by.
For me, fashion is a personal
choice.
And if that means clothes that
don’t stink and could become an
ugly couch pattern —
— then so be it.
Kerber is a sophomore news
editorial major and a Daily
Nebraskan columnist
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