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About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (Jan. 24, 1997)
Couples modify vows to fit their feelings Wedding promises up for debate in context of modern marriages BkObgcMadsn SktfRepartar To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, till death do us part. Those words cause many of us to immediately think of wedding bells and a traditional matrimonial service, com plete with a church, attendants and a reception afterward. But for some soon-to-be-married couples, the traditional wedding, along with traditional wedding vows, has become a thing of the past. Genelle Campbell, a senior psychol ogy major, said she and her fiance, Brady Kerr, a second-year medical stu dent at Creighton, were contemplating a different approach to tying the knot. “Right now we’re trying to decide between eloping to Jamaica and hav ing a traditional wedding,” she said. Eloping would mean no public reci tation of vows, but Campbell said if they decided to have a wedding, their vows would not be traditional. “We’d write our own,” she said. “Probably just because it would mean a lot more to us if we were picking out what we wanted to say, and if it were coming from our hearts rather than just someone else’s words.” Bryan Gark, senior pastor at Lin coln Berean Church, said the recitation of vows is a vital aspect of a wedding ceremony. “A wedding ceremony is meant to be a covenant before God,” he said. “The wedding vows state the details of the covenant. It specifies what each person is committing to.” Campbell said that if she and Kerr did decide to elope, they would have a short blessing at a church and a small reception of about 50 people. Whatever decision Campbell and Kerr make, she said one thing will be certain concerning their vows. “I would definitely not have the r ^ 475-£9£9 1 £19 P. Street — ■— to*lhHlfa>l « IfcWTiMlM ... . __. 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The biblical example of marriage, Clark said, comes from Genesis 2. Many people today have aban doned that view of marriage, Qark said. “For many people, marriage is like signing a contract and saying: 'if I don’t like it I’ll fix it later,’” he said. “I would say it’s a devaluing of truth al together.” Otis Young, senior minister of the First Plymouth Congregational Church, said the word “obey” isn’t included in wedding services at First Plymouth. u I would definitely not have the word ‘obey ’in my vows. I just don’t think that’s what a marriage is all about. I think it’s about compromise, not obey ing each other.” Genelle Campbell senior psychology major But he said most couples are still open to more traditional vows. “We haven’t had any problem with commitment,” Young said, “We sug gest that you promise that you stay married as long as you both shall live. Realizing of course that sometimes you can’t keep every promise you make, but that is the intent.” Campbell said it wasn’t a lack of commitment, but a lack of time and money that was preventing a traditional service for her and her future husband. “The reason we’re thinking about not having a wedding is that my fiance is in medical school and I’ll hopefully be in graduate school* next year. That and the money issue make it really hard.” __ you celebrate!!! 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