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Love, devotion abcund
in same-sex marriages
ByEhinSchulie
Senior Reporter
It was a non-traditional wedding.
The betrothed chose for their wedding at
tire matching black jeans and jewel-colored
satin shirts, one fuchsia and one purple. They
both wore engagement rings — one adorned
with a pearl and the other an Alexandria. Theme
colors for the wedding were shades from the
I rainbow.
p More noticeably, the couple to be wed was
| made up not of a bride and a groom, but a bride
t and a bride.
Ignoring laws that say gays and lesbians
cannot marry, Janyss Ballard, 30, an employee
I of UNL’s food services, and her wife, Patti, 44,
£ were married by a licensed minister from the
• Universal Life Church last October.
| Though the marriage is not legally bind
Iing, Janyss and Patti say they consider it bind
ing in every other facet of their lives. They
I expressed their commitment and love for each
other in the personal vows they wrote for their
k ceremony.
I Solemn vows
^ “I told Patti that she was my laughter, my
[ hope. That she was my home,” Ballard said.
^ Between the two of them, Ballard and her
{ wife have three divorces, three children and
* one happy marriage.
Both were married to men, and both di
| vorced after six years. Patti, who asked to be
9 referred to by her first name only, then married
I a woman. Then she met Ballard at a PFLAG
m meeting.
• Ballard says die didn’t “steal” Patti from
| her former wife. She says she wasn’t the cause
t of their divorce, which came in the form of coun
cil with a clergy member, but when Patti asked
. her out, she stole her heart.
1 tell in love ngnt away, tsanara saia. we
£ were platonic friends, but lost touch and I didn’t
* hear from her for a long time.
I “Which was OK, because it hurt when she
g was with somebody else.”
| Out of the blue
£ But a call out of the btae erased all that hurt
. in an instant, and by their second date, Ballard
1 said she was ready to make Patti her wife.
£ “Ever heard that lesbian joke?” Ballard
a
I told, Patti that she was
my laughter, my hope.
That she was my home. ”
JanyssBaiiard
UNL food services employee
' .
second date? A U-Haul!”
The two proposed to each other, and were
married last fall. Although some lesbians opt
for the one-in-a-tux, one-in-a-wedding-gown
formal theme, neither Patti nor Ballard ever
wears a dress. So they went casual for their
outdoor wedding, at which they had 30 guests.
The guests were mostly friendsfas their fami
lies aren’t very accepting, Ballard said.
“My mother came to the ceremony, but she
sat really stiff and clenched her teeth and prac
tically cried—not tears of joy,” Ballard said.
“She slipped away afterwards, and she didn’t
even speak to us. »
“My sister didn’t show up at all.”
After die ceremony, guests showed up fit
a three-tiered formal wedding cake at a rain
bow-themed reception at the Super 8 motel.
Home and hearth
When the time for that infamous U-Haul
came, the couple moved something more im
portant than their furniture into their home—
their children. Ballard has one elementary
school-aged daughter; Patti has two teen-age
girls.
Although Lincoln is a fairly accepting town,
Ballard said, the two do not touch each other
in public for fear of being assaulted. They say
that can be difficult at times, so they are v&ry
affectionate with each other at home.
“We have a rule in our house,” Ballard said.
“We won’t be closeted in the house.
“If (the children’s) friends come over, they
have to be prepared to tell who we are. Their
close friends know that we’re gay.”
Ballard said if any gays or lesbians are in
terested in getting married, their best bet would
be to call the Unitarian Church in Lincoln,
which, after extensive pre-mantal counseling,
marries same-sex couples. The Metropolitan
Community Church, she said, is also primarily
a gay and lesbian Christian church.
Please see WEDDING oiH4
