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Mark
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What’s the matter with kids these days?
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If any reasons exist to chop the
support ropes of the swaying
generation gap bridge, I saw them
zombieing around Edgefest two
months ago. Garbed in head-to-toe
f-*--- nihilism, they
seemed hardly
the types to bop
to Semi sonic or
The Refresh
ments—I
couldn’t blame
them for that.
But they tended
to cluster
- together, their
mascara-framed gazes comforting
each other amidst the gawks of
people whose closets actually contain
colors other than black. And on the
backs of some, in a rare flash of
nonblack, was their raison d’etre “I
am the God of—•”
I’d better not finish that sentence,
but it ends with a word that begins
with “F” and has a “K”, a “C”, and a
“U” somewhere in it.
Marilyn Manson is the inspiration
for these people. Marilyn Manson
scares the living hell out of me, and
that’s why I’m ready to disassociate
myself with the upcoming genera
tion. But there's a problem with
disfranchising the generation directly
behind mine on the basis that
Marilyn Manson is freakin’ spooky
—and that is that Marilyn Manson is
*imygaeration.
As we know by the rules of
generation-bashing, the attributes of
one member of a generation are the
H
Because I’m new at marginalizing
people, I will use the ‘Baby Boomer’
method of reducing entire generations
to overused stereotypes.”
attributes of all members of a
generation. So to avoid insulting
myself and other members of
Generation X, I will concentrate my
barbs on Marilyn Manson’s fans (or
minions as they like to be called)
who are mostly members of the
Millennium Generation (or the
Freakin’ Spooky Generation, as they
also like to be called).
Because I’m new at marginalizing
people, I will use the “Baby
Boomer” method of reducing entire
generations to overused stereotypes.
First, is the Millennium Genera
tion lazy? Do they lack a healthy
work ethic? Of course they do. Most
are under the age of 16, so they don’t
even have jobs. Their lives are
consumed with loafing around their
parents’ homes all day. How lazy can
you get?
Second, do they have no sense of
civic duty? Do they lack a unifying
cause for which they will lie down
and be trampled by police horses?
Their sense of civic duty is finding
out what bands are coming to Omaha
Civic Auditorium and informing their
friends. Scathing, isn't it?
Third, does the Millennium
Generation whine? 1 don’t know, I’ve
never talked to one.
Fourth, does the Millennium
Generation have no wars to fight nor
any to dodge? For this I will offer
them some leeway. Most are not
military age yet, so they couldn’t
possibly have proven or disproved
themselves on this ground. Also, they
need to rely on their elders to create
a conflict to thrust them into.
Speaking as a card-carrying member
of the X Generation, I pledge that we
will indeed make a situation in which
they can prove their mettle. Probably
something with a Middle-Eastern
theme.
All this cuimudgeoning over
younger people has given me a great
sense of satisfaction. I beam with
pride at having been bom at the
moment in time I was—the glorious
1970s. Criticism of youth has, for the
first rime, put into perspective that
that 10-year span is truly the greatest
in die history of the universe. How
divine!
Maybe I shouldn’t limit myself to
bashing only younger generations. Cer
tainly there is plenty wrong with people
older than me and my age, and point
ing out their flaws will only further
unveil the importance of Gen-X.
I’ll have to come up with a means
other than the “Baby Boom Method”
with which to criticize the Baby
Boomers, as they ate the wily
creators of that particular tactic and,
undoubtedly, will be unaffected by it.
One possibility would be to associate
every word that rhymes with
“boomers” to that generation. For
example, all Boomers wear bloomers
underwear. Or all Boomers spread
rumors about other generations. So
far it’s pretty accurate.
Generations older than the
Boomers will be much easier to
accost, as they are mostly dead—
which affords them little opportunity
for rebuttal.
The Beat Generation is the easiest
generation to be stereotyped, as they
are all exactly like my parents. They
may attempt to deny it. They may
cling to their imaginary differences,
but their gig will be up when it is
revealed that they believe a beatnik
orbits the planet somewhere between
the moon and Sputnik and that a
“goatee” is an adjective describing
an object of goat-like quality.
Those crazy, misinformed
SOsomethings.
Albrecht is a junior philosophy
major and a Daily Nebraskan
columnist
Nathan
Editor*! note: This guest
column was written ami submitted
by Nathan Dudley, a freshman
sound production major.
I have stuttered my whole life. I’ll
admit it, speech impediments do
sound funny on occasion. Even I
make jokes about the way I talk
sometimes. If I'm having trouble on a
word, I might say, “If I don’t get this
word out, we’ll be here all night.”
But f wasn’t always this confident.
When I was young, I was very,
shy. I wanted to hide the fact that I
stuttered from everyone—even my
teachers. I would always sit in the
back of the class, hoping no one
would see me back there. If a teacher
asked .me a question, I would act like
I didn’t know the answer.
I was angry with everyone: my
monvand dad for letting me stutter,
my peers for all the jokes. I was even
mad at God for making me stutter. I
mean, why didHe have to give me
this? Why couldn't he have given
this stutter to someone who sits
behind a computer all day and never
speaks to a soul?
I didn’t want to stutter—I have
too much tosay. I wanted to talk all
u---—
I didn’t want to stutter—I have too
much to say. I wanted to talk all the time,
but my speech got in the way.”
the time, but my speech got in the
way.
My social attitude toward my
speech made my personal life pretty
miserable. Since I did not know how
to cope with my speech, I was very
angry with myself. I wanted to be
alone, just for the fact that I stuttered.
1 also got the impression that no one
wanted to hang around with me.
When we were in grade school and
junior high, image to us was every
thing. One flaw could rumour whole
reputation. ’ r •: Mi*
K then, when I wash freshman in
high school, I came to the realization “
that the reason I didn't have oodles
of friends was not becausej stuttered
but because of my attitude toward my
stutter. It waSbecaupeofmy attitude
toward other people who poked fun
at my speech. Jherewillajwiysbe
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those people who will make the jokes
or the smart remarks. I realized that I
had to get beyond my temper, beyond
the jokes, beyond the people who
don’t know how to handle something
different —a and beyond my attitude
problem.
After that, 1 started making more
friends. I had more dates. I was
invited to more parties. My grades
and my self-esteem skyrocketed. f
Probably most in3portantly. my —
speech started to improve. I finally "
was where I wanted to be inmy life. ±
I was happy, and I had some control
of my speech, instead of my speech
having control ofme.
Now I am at peace with my
speech. I love to ask and answer
questions. I’m probably tooconfi- J.
dent for my own good. I speak my .
mind whether it takes tnejhpefc_
seconds or three hours. I don’t blame
anyone—not even myself. I do not
think of my stuttering as being a
nightmare but as a symbol of what
makes me unique. Some days my
speech is good; some days my
speech is bad. I just have to deal with
it.
‘ Someone asked me once, if I
could stop stuttering, would I do it?
At this point and time in my life, I
really don’t know. I have been
stuttering my whole life. It’s the only
way I know how to speak. Oh well, it
happens.
Throughout the years, I have
learned to take my stuttering with a - f ^
grain of salt. I still have my moments
when my speech gets so bad, I can
hardly understand what I am trying to
say myself. But I guessI jtiS hoVc io
deal with it. I just can’t let my stutter
get me down.
I have grown and have learned
from my stuttering. It always reminds
me that I’m not perfect. In a way,
stuttering makes me want to talk
more. So ifyou want to talk with me,
that’s great Just don’t make any
plans. The conversation might take
awhile, ' ''