The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current, November 01, 1996, Page 4, Image 4
EDITOR Doug Kouma OPINION EDITOR Anne Hjersman EDITORIAL BOARD Doug Peters Matt White Paula Lavigne Mitch Sherman Anthony Nguyen Campaign *96 ENDORSEMENTS Vote Clinton America can stomach presidents'policies Spinach or brussels sprouts. Voters in this presidential election year should have some newfound sympathy for children faced with that choice. Ross Perot and the other various unpal atable third-party candidates aside, Ameri cans have an equally unenviable decision in choosing who will occupy the White House for the next four years. On one side, there’s former Sen. Bob Dole. Like cooked spinach gone cold, he’s still got a fair amount of substance and grit, but his ideas lack cohesiveness and he lacks presentation. it ii _ _ • i r*_• i _ , m*. - _ wii uie uuici mug — r icmuciu v_innuii. The brussels sprouts he has to offer may leave an equally bad taste in the mouth, but they at least hold their shape over time, and Clinton seems to have a decent recipe on how to spice them up. By most accounts, Clinton has performed better than expected during his first term in Washington. He has met the traditional cri teria Americans place before their presidents — not with flying colors, but with solid marks, nonetheless. Crime has been held in check. Clinton has made good on promises to add thousands of police officers to America’s streets and to crack down on violent crime. He has been instrumental in passing the Brady Bill for handgun control, and he has signed legisla tion to take assault weapons off the streets. Under Clinton, the economy has re mained solid and grown at a steady rate. Unemployment is down, ahd job creation is up. Inflation is low and interest rates are steady. Wall Street is stronger than ever, and the federal budget deficit is falling. Clinton should also be commended for his proposals to strengthen higher education. His plan would offer families making under $100,000 a year a $1,500 tax credit and up to $10,000 a year in,tax deductions to help defray the costs of attending college. Clinton recognizes the importance of educational loans for college students. “We must make two years of college just as uni versal in four years as a high school educa tion is today, and we can do it,” he has said. Most important, however, Clinton is sim ply presidential. Minus a few lapses early in his term, he has become die moderate leader Americans seek. He possess the diplomatic poise to earn respect from America’s allies and demand it from enemies. His foreign policy successes in Bosnia, Northern Ireland and the Middle East have overshadowed his missteps in Somalia, Russia and Iraq. Clearly, there is no “best choice” this election year. But President Clinton is the better choice, and for that, the Daily Nebras kan believes he deserves a second term in the White House. So suck it up, eat your brussels sprouts — and hope that dessert is on the menu in 2000. Editorial Policy Unsigned editorials are the opinions of the Fall 1996 Daily Nebraskan. They do not nec essarily reflect the views of die University of Nebraska-Lincoln, its employees, its stu dent body or the University of Nebraska Board of Regents. A column is soley the opinion of its author. The Board of Regents serves as publisher of die Daily Nebraskan; policy is set by the Daily Nebraskan Edito rial Board. The UNL Publications Board, es tablished by the regents, supervises the pro ■ duction of the newspaper. According to policy set by die regents, responsibility for the editorial content of the newspaper lies solely in the hands of its student employees. Letter Policy The Daily Nebraskan welcomes brief let ters to the editor and guest columns, but does not guarantee their publication. The - Daily Nebraskan retains the right to edit or reject any material submitted. Submit ted material becomes the property of the Daily Nebraskan and cannot be returned. Anonymous submissions win not be published. Those who submit letters must identify themselves by name, year in school, major and/or group affilia tion, if any- Submit material to: Daily Ne braskan, 34 Nebraska Union, 1400 R St Lincoln, Neb. 68588-0448. E-mail: letters9urilinfb.iml.edu. ■ri Nit UKl CORDS ; AMD mti r\ .1 Steve WILLEY Cafeteria Catholic I’ve lost my taste for guilt In case you couldn’t tell by tbe hidden religious themes in my previous columns, I used to be a devout Catholic. I grew up in a Catholic home, attended a Catholic church and was an altar boy in my Catholic church. I say I “used to be” a Catholic because I am currently serving a 30 year suspension from the religion for “gargling” with the wine during a Mass back in 1988. Now that I think about it though, my dismissal was probably a blessing in disguise. The Catholic faith was just too constric tive for people like me. Unfortunately, there’s probably little chance that the Church will loosen up either. That’s too bad. Historically, the Catholic faith has always been rigidly stem. Early records indicate that the religion was founded by a man named John Lustivoli, who later became the religion’s first pope. laisuvuu was sumcwuai oi an outcast at die time and was well known throughout Italy for bopping strangers on the head with loaves of unleavened bread. John was said to have been extremely unsatisfied with his current religion, mainly because he was having trouble finding other people who were likewise interested in worshipping armadillos. So to entice more people, Lustivoli created a religion that would make people feel guilty no matter what they did. In his 84 A.D. diary, John wrote, “Whosoever in my religion committeth a sin against thy heavenly Father shall be made to feel solely < responsible for all the sins of the world. And robed female angels shall - ’ descend from the heavens and striketh the sinner on thy knuckles with a wooden measuring stick of some kind.” (Of course it’s obvious now that the soothsaying Lustivoli was referring to nuns and rulers.) In no time at all, John’s religion Im.. _mm & a s « I say I ‘used to be’ a Catholic because I am currently serving a 30-year suspension from the religion for ‘gargling’with the wine during a Mass back in 1988.” spread wildly, attracting thousands of people who were, for decades, feeling absolutely wonderful about themselves. The Catholic faith would change this of course. As its popularity increased, the Catholic faithful began flexing their religious muscles and by the 1200s, they were forcing people of other faiths to convert to Christianity. People who remained faithful to other religions were tortured, sometimes until death, by the Catholics. (Now that’s what I call strict!) This persecution came to be known as the “Disposition.” (EDITOR’S NOTE: That’s “Accusa tion,” you idiot! As in the “Spanish Accusation.” Jesus Christ!) During both the Roman and Spanish (Accusations?), one of the * most popular forms of torture was to have the sinners led into the pope’s chambers where they were forced to listen to his pet basset hound sing “Ave Maria” for hours. One historian wrote that the pope’s basset hound, with its horrendous voice and alternate lyrics, was personally responsible for the conversion of thousands of non-Catholics. Today these strict teachings are still enacted as Catholic schools across the nation hold their own “Interpositions.” So many of us who have survived Catholic schools still “hiss” like frightened cats whenever we see a nun. I still have the telltale physical indentions of a plastic ruler across my forehead from my Catho lic-schoolin’ days in Mississippi. m my ^arnoiic scnooi, we were forced to wear uniforms. Now, I realize that many schools nowadays require uniforms, but our uniforms were actually miniature pope costumes—only, for some reason, we were required to wear our sash vertically. My school was so strict, the students were collectively referred to as “Demon children.” Nuns are always so realistic about life, you know. I remember honestly being told by Sister Mary, in grade school that I was “too fat to be an astro naut.” It was, for me, just another push in the back away from the religion. Who knows, maybe one day I’ll return to the religion I was baptized in. But it probably won’t be until the Catholic powers that be relax their policies a little bit. Telling me I won’t have any time in purgatory, for example, might be just enough to bring me back. Former Bishop Steve Willey says the first thing he’B do when appointed pope is to install a “mayonnaise-style buffet” inside of the Vatican.