The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current, October 28, 1996, Page 5, Image 5

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    - •■■•'., v':* • • •.:- . t_ . ,:
Sonia
HOLLIMON
f
It’s your c )r shut up
Only eight days until Election
Day. For those of you who can’t
make up your minds or are still
waffling—get a grip. If you don’t
vote, you can’t complain, and four
years is a long
time to keep
your mouth shut.
I’ve been
breathlessly
awaiting my
opportunity to
discuss the
election from the
“Sonia” point
of-view. I’ve
seen the debates; I threw popcorn at
the screen. I’ve read the materials
and faithfully put on my “Choose or
Lose” fake tattoo I got when the
MTV bus came. But now the time
has come. The networks have had
their say, and now it’s my turn.
The “Sonia” perspective isn’t
based on issues, platforms or party
' affiliations, because, let’s face it,
neither is the election. No, there’s a
side to the elections even more seedy
than welfare reform. Picture this: Mr.
Bob Dole cold chillin’ on the MTV
M
If you don’t vote, you can’t complain, and
four years is a long time to keep your
mouth shut.”
Choose or Lose bus with Allison
Stewart, Nautica jacket slightly open,
no tie, telling America’s youth “Just
Don’t Do It” when it comes to drugs.
I hope Nike sues him for copyright
infringement.
Scarier still is the fact that Jack
Kemp seems to be running for VP
based solely on the fact that he
played football a few millenia ago.
Besides, I thought he and Dole
couldn’t stand each other -1 was
really hoping to see the two of them
in “Death Wish 2 — Republican
Revenge.”
Clinton gets points for the
discontinued use of his jogging suit,
as well as for the feet that he hasn’t
done any commercials for the Arch
Deluxe—not to say he hasn’t eaten
any. As for Gore, there’s just not
much to say—he doesn’t get to do
much, he doesn’t get to say much,
but maybe that’s because Tipper
keeps an electronic sensor in his
pants. Maybe Hillary ought to look
into one of those.
Or perhaps she should go raid
Lizzie’s closet and borrow some
black leather — I have to admit, even
I woke up for that. I’m sure that’s the
biggest thrill Jay Leno’s had in a long
time. Or Liz, for that matter.
As for Ross Perot — nah, too
easy.
The fact that our country’s
elections are constantly rife with
scandal, untruths, mud-slinging and ^
badly dressed people with bad catch
phrases that usually turn out to be
blatant lies (remember “No new
taxes”?) is no excuse not
to vote. Remember when you were
young and your mom used to say,
“There are children starving in
Africa” to try and get you to eat your
peas? Well, that holds true for people
in other countries who are starving
for the chance to at least feel that
what they think counts. The chance
to make a choice is one of the most
important chances in life—without
it, perhaps we’d all work for
McDonald’s, and I personally don’t
look good in those little hats.
It wasn’t too long ago that I wouldn’t
have been able to vote. So when I do,
I do it for myself, and all of my
ancestors who didn’t have the chance
to make that choice.
So forget about Bill’s post-flight
haircuts or the fact that Bob Dole
couldn’t win a debate against a sixth
grader—you’ve got the chance to.
make a difference. So choose or lose.
And if you don’t vote, don’t com
plain.
Hollimon is a senior broadcast
ing major and a Daily Nebraskan
columnist.
Anthony
NGUYEN
Faeeit
Be afraid, be very afraid — it’s only natural
Since Halloween is now the
second-largest day for retail sales
after Christmas in America, I’ve
noticed that I can’t get to bed as
quickly with the howling wind
_:_outside and the
shadows that
follow me
everywhere
(don’t read
Lovecraftat
night). Would I
cave in to the
mood of the
season?
- — Would I
follow so many other lemmings who
devote space to this paganistic ritual
which corrupts and possesses the
youth of America by having them fall
under the spell of the Lord of Evil,
the King of Chaos, the Overlord of
All-that-is-Unspeakable—Satan?
(Just kidding.)
No, instead let’s talk about how
this season of ghouls, ghosts, and
goblins (geez, doesn’t that just roll
right off the tongue?) adds to the
bottomless abyss in my psyche
«_ known as FEAR. Turn on the telly
(I’ve been listening to too much of
the BBC) and what you’ll see this .
week is a glut of slasher/occult/
supernatural movies.
But the seed of FEAR was
implanted before I started watching
“The Omen,” “The Shining,” and
“The Exorcist” (a horror movie
without the definitive THE just
doesn’t cut it). Rather, last weekend
when I woke up groggy from a
raucous night with the mother-of-all
headaches. 1 wait out onto my
apartment’s patio to get something
66
If I had to choose between running down
■ :
O Street naked during rush hour or being
in a room with a roach, trust me, you'd
see the fastest Asian alive tomorrow *
from the storage closet. Digging
around in the junk I’ve proudly
accumulated*! felt something prickly
on my right shoulder.
I ignored it, thinking it was
cobwebs or the wind. But the
sensation just kept getting.stronger
and stronger. So I used my left hand
to brush it away. Then the “itch”
- moved. I looked down. The last time
I screamed that loud was when I was
a kid and fell off the seat of a bicycle
onto the bar.
What did I see? A cockroach. Not
just your garden-variety cockroach,
but a big black one that was 2 feet
long, with saliva dripping from its
mouth, antennae waving menacingly
at me. Why, Icould see its bloody
grin.
OK, maybe it wasn’t exactly like
that, but it was one big cockroach. I
hate cockroaches more than any
thing. If I had to choose between
running down O Street naked during
rush hour or being in a room with a
roach, trust me, you’d see the fastest
Asian alive tomorrow.
Like most normal people, I’m
afraid of a lot of things. .<
I’m afraid of failing to do any
thing relevant in life.
I’m afraid of turning on the
television and seeing HBO’s docu
mentary on fetishes — ‘til the day I
die, I won’t forget the naked guy with
his head in the toilet being whipped
by his “Mistress” andenjoying it..
I’m afraid of growing up, growing
old, and growing out-of-touch with
my fascination of the universe and
the wonders it holds.
I’m afraid of running out of toilet
paper at that “critical moment.”
I’m afraid of cemeteries ‘cause I
have no ambition of “checking out
my future place of residence.”
And I’m afraid of dying... and nol
knowing I’m dead.
Of course, there are some things
that don’t strike me with FEAR.
I’m not going to be one who holes
up in a dilapidated shack in the
middle of “God’s Country” with an
AK-47 and expect that it can fend off
the worldwide “conspiracy” of the
U.N. to take over the U.S. with
Chinese and Russian troops hiding
just across the Canadian border.
I’m not going to be the one who
thinks the government is in cahoots
with aliens, ‘cause if all aliens want
to do when they ’re in our comer of
the neighborhood is to abduct “Joe
Bob” for sexual “things,” then I’d
rather not meet them anyway.
And I’m not going to believe the
world is gonna end in less than four
years, ‘cause it’d put a real crimp on
my ability to pay back student loans
(well, actually...).
Reading this you might think I’m
some wacked-out, paranoid freak,
but believe me, I’m not. Halloween’s
just reminding me of some fears. It’s
good to let yourself have some fears
... only a foolish person would have
no fears. Fear helps you to recognize
your limitations, but then it also tells
you that you can overcome these
limits. Some people just can’t shake
their fear and end up letting FEAR
control than.
Sure, I’m still queasy about
roaches, but I don’t let it rule me. It’s
a little thing in the vast tapestry of
life.
_
So, while I’m curling up with a
good scary book this Halloween,
imagining I can hear the pitter-patter
of cockroaches, I’ll keep in mind that
I can live with my fear. Besides I’ve
got a shoe next to my bed.
Nguyen is a senior biochemistry
and philosophy major and a Daily
Nebraskan columnist