. • " - .
' ■ i ■ \ . ■ ■ . .
' - • • - * -r.i- - • * ' ,1
I By Cliff Hicks I
1 and Emily Wray |
Books give
wise, silly
advice to all
As we sit here, nibbling at our
Chinese food, wondering what time
our deadline was (about nine hours
ago), we talk of books and things.
No. 709. “Deadlines are impor
tant. Meet them.”
Oops.
The books of the week are
“Life’s Little Instruction Book” (1
511) and “Life’s Little Instruction
Book, Volume II” (512-1028) by H.
Jackson Brown Jr. They are Emily’s
choice.
Sometimes these books contain
sage bits of advice. Sometimes the
advice is not so sage. Sometimes we
honestly have no clue where the
author’s coming from.
Here’s an example of a wise re
mark:
No. 176. “Read carefully any
thing that requires your signature.
Remember the big print giveth and
the small print taketh away.” (Ah,
legalese.)
Here’s an example of a not-so
wise comment:
No. 599. “Avoid approaching
horses and restaurants from the
rear.” (Did you know it’s still ille
gal to hitch your horse in front of
any post office in Nebraska?)
We both agree the first book is
better than the second. It seems like
he’s stretching at times in the sequel
—the sophomore slump.
We did have some differences
of opinion regarding these bods.
The conversation went something
like this:
“These are the kind of books
your parents would love, Emily.
They’re filled with wisdom from
their generation that they wish to
pass to ours.”
“These books are relatively
cheap ($5.95 each). Our generation
"might actually leam something.
(Realistically, they’re good for
laughs.)”
“Hmm. Yeah, but occasionally
they can be self-contradictory, over
bearing and outdated.”
“But so can university adminis
tration and organized religion and I
still love them, Cliff.” (She’s seri
ous, folks. No sarcasm involved.)
“Maybe that’s why neither one
of them is very fond of me... Any
how, I don’t dislike the books, but I
think you have to take them with a
shaker or two of salt.”
We did agree the books are
worth the money. They are, how
ever, best read in pairs (people, not
books). You wouldn’t believe some
of the topics that came up while
writing this column.
„ Pick one of these bodes up sc
night and skip going to Burger K;
It’s food for thought—and this
won’t rot your innards.
No. 81. uAvoid sarcastic
marks.”
Well, there goes this colunu
\
Cliff Hicks is a
news-editorial aad English major
guitar
a joaior
i till has
.
By Ann Stack
Senior reporter
She doesn’t claim to be Cupid, but
Katie Miller does her best to hit the
marie.
One year ago, the former UNL jour
nalism major was studying for mid
terms and wondering about her future.
Now she owns her own business,
helping single people meet others.
Miller, 19, is the owner of Chances
Are..., Lincoln’s newest introduction
(she refrains from calling it ‘dating’)
service, 770 N. Cotner Blvd., in the
Gateway Executive Building.
“It’s a great opportunity for
singles,” she said. “You can only bar
hop so much; You can only bump into
someone’s shopping cart at the grocery
store so many times without looking
obvious.”
Miller said she got the idea to start
her business from her mother, who has
been single for eight years.
Her mother tried other dating ser
vices in town, but was never introduced
to anyone. Miller said she didn’t want
others togo through that, so she started
the kind of service she’d want her
mother to use.
Of course, her mother has been too
busy helping her get started in the busi
ness to meet any prospective Mr.
Rights.
Now Miller has more than 100
members. She has decidedly more
women than men because she just fin
ished a promotional offer to attract
more women to the service.
“It’s tougher to sell to women, so
we wanted them to be our target audi
ence,” she said. “If we’ve got 50
women, it’s not hard to get men to come
too.” •
She said another reason for an even
mixture is that women typically have a
tougher time asking men out.
“Men seem to think they don’t need
a service,” she said.
She has members of all ages, with
women ranging in age from 27 to 68
and men from 21 to 62. Physical ap
pearance isn’t as important to members
seeking to meet people, she said.
“Education is one of the biggest
deciding factors,” she said. “Another
a
Men seem to think they
don’t need a service.”
Katie Miller
owner of "Chances Are...”
is whether they smoke or don’t smoke.”
Miller has four employees, all cur
rent or former UNL students, who set
up appointments fen1 clients. Chances
Are... automatically runs a criminal
background check on each member,
and keeps its members anonymous.
Another benefit of Chances Are...
is that it does not match people up by
computers. Members look through pro
file books and choose whom they want
to meet. Members then fill out “wish
lists” of their top six choices, and
Miller handles things from there.
One more bonus of the service is
that memberships don’t start until a
client is introduced to someone and has
a date, Miller said.__
; ' \
The membership fee is $150 for a
year. Anyone can come in for a free
consultation, she said, which includes
an overview of the business, an expla
nation of services and an opportunity
to check out some of the members’
profiles.
Her goal, she said, is to help people
find someone to spend the rest of their
lives with.
“An introduction service is a great
way to meet quality singles,” she said.
“Chances are, we can introduce you to
that someone.”
Chances Are... is having a grand
opening Oct. 19 from 9 a.m.to3'p.m.
Regular hours we weekdays from noon
to 9 pjn. and Saturdays from 9 ajn. to
3 pjm._ ■ ' ' : - ' -
Punk band delivers frenzied show
Bt Bret Schulte
StaffReporter
OMAHA — A spotlight rapidly
scanned the bouncing, frenzied heads
of those paying homage to the garage
gods of surf-punk and science fiction.
The foursome walked on stage at
Sokol Hall Monday night dressed in a
variety Of flight suits, thick glasses and
the occasional Speed Racer safety hel
met.
Projected B movie images and
dated audiovisual equipment cluttered
the stage as Man or Astro-Man?
promptly sped through four instrumen
tal surf-punk songs without saying a
word
After establishing this alternative
universe where Godzilla still has prob
lems with the Japanese and humans
plan their first visit to the moon, Man
or Astro-Man? spoke.
It may have been Star Crunch, or
maybe Coco the Electronic Monkey
Wizard who made the first grinning
m KJ
snide comment, “Lots of science up
here, lots of math.”
He continued to grin, his face illu
minated by two video monitors, one
shaking with sporadic electromagnetic
waves, the other beaming 1950s sci
ence fiction B movie clips into the
crowd.
“These people seem sedated; I think
they need a little wheat-based inspira
tion,” he aiid.
And then die crowd was suddenly
being pelted with bread and Man or
Astro-Man? had broken into song
again — this time including lyrics.
Birdstuff, at the drums, was briefly seen
as he leapt onto the drum set, his head
poking through the ceiling, blindly
flogging the snare.
The show continued in this frenzied
fashion. Coco the Electronic Monkey
Wizard, Star Crunch, and Dexter X fre
quently stood front-stage, synchroniz
ing their guitars in in an automated
Devo-esque fashion. The sound ofthc
three guitar necks siowiy sueicnea
across the audience in sync, until one
broke rank, unable to control its enthu
siasm.
Visions of bouncing electrons and
dancing astronauts in space illuminated
the backdrop for the duration of the
show. After twenty or so breakneck surf
songs, Coco the Electronic Monkey
Wizard decided it was time for the fi
nale.
He popped up from the flow with
a blazing cardboard TV set on his head,
his smile beaming brighter than the
flames erupting from his cranium. He
spun around fw a few minutes while
the crowd, illuminated by the flames,
stood in awe.
His antics brought to an end, Coco
was eventually extinguished and sud
denly the universe had dissolved. The
audience was back in Omaha, and had
to go home.
Fw those wishing to make a jour
ney into the unknown, catch Man or
Astro-Man? in Milwaukee next week.
Their most recent album, “Experiment
Zero” is now being sold at any Homer’s
location.
Local celebs
serve drinks
for donations
From Staff Reports
Jax Restaurant and Lounge, 27th
St. and Hwy. 2, will have several of
the community’s familiar faces —
and voices —• serving as bartend
ers between 5 and 8 tonight.
The drinks may take 20 minutes
to make and may taste like battery
acid, but it’s for a good cause. It’s
the second annual Celebrity Bar
tender Night to benefit the Nebraska
Arthritis Foundation. All tips made
by Lincoln’s notoraries will be do
nated to the cause.
Some of the celebrities include
radio personalitites Tim, The Ani
mal, Johnny Royal and Sparky of
KIBZ 106.3-FM (The Blaze), Kristi
London of KFRX 102.7-FM, Keith
Allen and Carol Thmer of KZKX
96 Kix, Eric Johnson of KKNB
104.1-FM (The Point) and Joe and
Timmo of KTGL 92.9-FM (The
Eagle)._
Mariachi music to enliven Crib
From Staff Reports
Tonight, ifispanic Heritage
Month comes alive at the Crib with
live mariachi from 8 to 10 brought
by MASA, the Mexican-American
Student Association and sponsored
by the University Program Council.
Mariachi Zapata, who play tra
ditional Mexican music, will be die
center of the event tonight, as they
perform in the Crib. Traditional
Mexican dancing will also be fea
