rv/- ' . r
Ode ;y
You’re going to make mistakes — make 'em good
Here at the dawn of a new semes
ter, I want you all to know and remem
ber one inevitable fact until you’re
wrinkled, senile and watching pro golf
on television.
So here it is: “The act of screwing
up miserably is in the human genetic
code.” C’mon, let’s face it, there’s no
way we can keep from making mis
takes—especially in an environment
most of us haven’t seen for three
months.
It’s here at the beginning of the se
mester that I make my “New Year’s
Resolutions.” Why? Well, chances are
by the time January rolls around, my
grades will have already sunk lower
than the Titanic and not even Jacques
Cousteau and his crew could help lift
them.
It’s also here at the beginning of
the fall semester that I tell myself I’m
not going to make the mistakes I made
last year. Yet I, like the masses, get
sucked into the same trap — I make
embarrassing mistakes because I don’t
know any better.
One man who certainly knows my
pain is Isiah Rider. The Minnesota
Timberwolves’ guard was ejected from
a game last March for arguing with
another player. But Rider refused to
leave the court. He verbally challenged
the call until... his mother stood up
from her front-row seat and walked
out onto the court. Upon seeing her,
Rider immediately fled.
Yet, you don’t have to be a multi
million-dollar star to mess up and
make yourself look as intelligent as a
sun-dried brick. Already this semes
ter I’m sure each of us has made mis
takes funny enough that even we laugh
at them.
No, it’s not because we had one too
«
The act of screwing
up miserably is in
the human genetic
code. ”
many dozen Mountain Dews. It’s be
cause we’ve made complete and utter
fools of ourselves and we realize we
could have had $10,000 if we’d just
caught it on video tape.
You know the deal — walking out
of the restroom with a piece of toilet
paper on your shoe, discovering that
the fly to your Levi’s has been down
the entire day or walking out of a gro
cery store to see that your car has
rolled backwards (in neutral) and has
ripped the back bumper off a Geo
Metro in the process.
Oh yes, I’ve been there. Who do
you think had to explain to the Geo’s
owner that her bumper was lying in a
crumpled heap somewhere beneath
her car? And to make matters even
worse, it happened to be an employee
of the supermarket I was just in.
But hey, I, like everyone else in the
world, am human. If you’ve driven the
.2. *» v* ■+'
wrong way down a “one-way” street
in Lincoln, I guarantee you’ll do it
again before you (or the oncoming
traffic) knows it.
The important thing is to learn
from your mistakes, blunders and mis
haps. And also not to let them get in
your way. Too often people make mis
takes and then worry about them so
long that they could have just gone
ahead and corrected the dang things.
If you say the wrong thing to Mr.
or Ms. Oh-My-God-That-One’s-Per
fect, heck, try saying something else.
If you threw one party that was as
much ftin as grave-digging, give it
another shot. If you spilled beer on
your best friend’s rug, well, move the
couch over it and blame it on the guy
sleeping in the comer.
We’re all bound to make a ton of
mistakes we wouldn’t make if we
knew this campus like the backs of our
hands (for example, locking yourself
out of your room when all you’ve got
on is a wet towel from your shower).
But it’s all part of the learning pro
cess, so take it in stride (or in the case
of the towel, small strides).
Hey, it could be worse. At least
none of us are Jordan Lazelle. The
British 18-year-old was hospitalized
after he was stung on the tongue by
his pet scorpion. His explanation?
“Well, I was giving Twiggy his
usual good-night kiss when he jumped
in my mouth and stung me on the
tongue—he had never done that be
fore.”
One would only hope that Jordan
will soon learn how to eat non-solid
foods.
• Kerber is a sophomore news-edi
torial major and a Daily Nebraskan
columnist
J\ICH
WILTGEN
Watch government; It watches you
Right now someone in America
has a loaded gun with your name on
it.
You say it’s not true? You’re not
that type of person, are you? You
don’t associate with that crowd,
right? ^
Wrong. You do. You paid for the
gun. You’ve probably consented to
its use against you.
You don’t remember any of this?
Probably not Chances are you’ve
never seen this gun. But it’s there,
waiting to be used if you decide to
push its owner too far.
Who owns the gun you suppos
edly paid for? And who would want
to use it against an innocent person
like you?. .v *
It’s your own government. Don’t
believe me? Tty refusing to pay all
of your income taxes sometime.
You’ll see die gun soon enough.
, OK, so if you pay your taxes,
there’s nothing to worry about,
If you are subjected of something
as petty as growing marijuana plants
in your home, you have plenty to
worry about. Never mind whether -
you’ve ever actually used, grown, or
even seen iUegat drugs in your life.
On Oct. 2,1992, a “task force” of 27
men smashed into Donald.Scott’s
home in Malibu, Calif., and shot
him to They claimed he was
growing marijuana—on the basis
of a false report from an anonymous
informant
Fact is, there is an “invisible
gun” behind every other government
tax and regulation too. It may not be
the physical gun you might see if
you don’t pay your taxes or if you ’re
the victim of a baseless drug raid,
but the threat of physical force
hangs over you every day. fost try
resisting any law long enougt—
whether the law’s just or not-—and
eventually the government will have
to use some sort of violent force to
ensure your compliance.
Sickeningly, both the Democrat
and Republican parties endorse this
type of government behavior as a
means of engineering society to their
whims. They, along with their
liberal, moderate, and conservative
supporters, want to use government
force (also known as “regulation” or
“legislative reform”) to make you a
pawn in their quest for power and
control.
The liberals are armed robbers.
They point their gun at you, take as
much money as they can, and
proceed to distribute it “fairly.” Then
they tell you how compassionate
they are. They’ve paid for TV and
radio programs that are “above”
seeking voluntary financial support.
They’ve funded their favorite forms
of art and “culture” with your
money. They've created a destitute
underclass and made them so
dependent on government welfare
checks that only a strong few can
survive on their own effort.
The conservatives are also armed
robbers. They point their gun at you,
take as much money as they can,
and proceed to distribute it “feirly.”
Then they tell you how good they
are at cutting big government. They
subsidize any industry that curries
their fever, thqy coddle their
constituents with unnecessary pet
projects. They waste billions of
dollars arresting and imprisoning
people for victimless crimes to
perpetuate the superficial,
unwinnable “War on Drugs.”
The moderates are the accom
plices. They try to reach some
awkward “compromise” on how
much money either side can take
from you, and they give a consenting
nod to any regulations either side
may propose.
Whatever money or happiness
you still have after this double
robbery is stretched to the limit
because of the costs imposed by
government regulation.
Almost every aspect of business is
now regulated by a government
agency. The government credo is:
you are not responsible enough to
make informed decisions; you are .
not intelligent enough to make cost
benefit analyses. So they take your
money and do it for you based on
their whims and preferences.
Whether you are single or
married, childless or not, you will
have to pay extra for your next
television purchase, because the
government has ordered TV
manufacturers to put the “V-chip” in
every set. Are you so incompetent
that you can’t decide whether you
want a V-chip in your TV set? No,
but our elected officials think they
need to make that decision for you.
Alan Greenspan once said, “At
the bottom of the endless pile of
paperwork which characterizes all
regulation lies a gun.” A gun with
your name on it. Are you a better
person for having a government gun
pointed at you? Or would yon be
better left alone by government and
fine to make decisions based on your
values, your preferences, your
judgment? v
Wiitgea is a juaior broadcast
ing aad meteorology major and a
Daily Nebraskan colamaist
• Twin Mattresses ‘ Desks • VCR’s •
Dorm Size Refrigerators • Economy
Bookcases • Shelf Stereos • Chests
Of Drawers • Portable TV’s
-
3
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13 MONEY-SAVING H£S NO. (f UNGOW ON HWY 77
Accepting Our Bodies**Accepting Our Selves
^^^^^^Eatin^isordei^ducatio^Grou^^^^^^
Group discussions/presentations
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UHC Counseling & Psychological
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