has no right.”
She curls up tighter on the couch.
She looks forward into space.Only she
knows exactly what she is thinking.
“He’s a nurse ” she says. “That’s
pretty ironic. His job is to take care of
people, but he can do something like
this.” She still wants to move when
school begins in the fall. She will not j
stay in the apartment for long.
Her friend has called. They are both
wary of each other’s feelings, but they
are speaking.
He leaves her alone. He speaks to
her on rare occasions, and then as if
nothing had happened. He does not
look at her; he boldly stares. It is
possible he knows what he has done.
Her mother and father have ac
cepted what has happened, although
neither approve of how she handled
herself. She is happy about that, but
cannot turn to them. *
Luckily, her relationship with her
mother has improved. She understands
why her mother acted the way she did.
“She feels guilty,” she says. “She wants
to be able to do something, but she
can’t, so it turns into anger. I’ve gotten
pretty used to that by now, though.”
However, she still does not con
nect with her father, and barely speaks
to or about him to this day.
She has told friends, and a few have
been willing to listen. It is what she
needs the most.
tivery person at least accepts wnat
happened, and for now, it is enough.
Her mood brightens for a moment,
although a tear begins to form in the
comer of her eye. Again, she holds it
back.
“I have this dream of becoming a
star performer someday,” she says. “I
know it’ 11 happen; it’ll happen because
I want it to happen. It just won’t hap
pen the way I want it to. This whole
thing definitely wasn’t something I’d
thought of.”
She closes her eyes and smiles
slightly. There is a music in the air; not
audible, but certainly discernible in
her world.
“There are things I want to do with
my life,” she says, “and if I want to do
them, I can’t let anything stop me.
“Not even this.”*
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Continued from Page 5
“The oolice will ask the victim at that
time it she wants to talk with them and
testify later,” Gray said.
Unfortunately, if a victim chooses
not to receive a rape exam, there’s very
little recourse for her to take later should
she change her mind, she said.
“Rape is very difficult to prosecute
because (without evidence) it is very
difficult to prove. It’s just a matter of his
word against hers,” Gray said.
Receiving most of the referrals from
the Victim/Witness Unit and the
Women’s Center, RSACC provides
single or weekly group counseling, le
gal advocacy, and a 24-hour crisis line,
as well as transportation to safe houses,
if necessary.
Judith Kriss, director of the Women’s
Center on city campus, said the most
crucial thing to watch after a rape was the
victim’s state of mind.
“The important thing is for victims
not to blame themselves,” Kriss said.
Many concerns and problems that ap
pear as a long-term result of being vio
lated may reoccur for several years, she
said.
In addition to counseling, legal ad
vocacy, crisis intervention, and refer
rals, the staff of the Women’s Center
work hard to help students heal from
their ordeal, while still being able to
function on a daily basis and continue to
attend school.
“Many of the students we work
with are facing dismissals from UNL
as a result of not attending classes after
a rape,” Kriss said. “Victims tend to
have a lot of fear and there’s a lot of
avoidance and isolation that occurs
afterwards.”
In fact, according to Gray, about
25% of RSACC’s case-load are college
students who reside in Lincoln.
Many counselors also suggest pro
tection orders for peace-of-mind to
those survivors who are concerned
about coming into contact with the
offender.
Svoboda explained that while a re
straining order falls primarily under the
jurisdiction of the courts, protection
orders are a matter for police to deal with.
“Violating a protection order is a
criminal offense,” she said. “It means
that the person violating it will be ar
rested. Violation of a restraining order
may only mean a judge will hold the
offender in contempt of court.”
However, according to Gray, many
victims do not meet the criteria for a
protection order.
“You either have to be married, live
together, have a child together, be related
by blood, or reside in the same house,”
she said.
Most students going to parties or
out on dates don’t fit under any of those
criteria.
But prevention is always the best
way to deal with the possibility of rape.
Gray said that one answer may be
educating the public that “no means no”
and that rape is not a way to “score
points.”
“There’s an attitude out there that
says ‘If I take her out to eat, she owes
me,”’ Gray said.
Kriss said most rapes by far occur in
situations where women already feel
safe—with acquaintances or at parties.
National statistics on rape report that
one in four college-aged women will
experience some form of sexual assault
by a date or acquaintance in their life
time, Kriss said.
However, she said those statistics
are taken only from the rapes reported,
which is figured to be only 10% of the
total rapes that occur nationally.
Gray also noted the high incidence of
“date rape” as being a major obstacle to
prevention of rape.
“Eighty percent of the rapes that
occur are committed by acquaintances
or dates,” Gray said, “What safety
procedures can someone follow to
prevent someone they know from
hurting them?”
But Kriss said that the Victim/Wit
ness Unit regularly attempts to teach
common sense strategies for rape pre
vention. n;
Safety tips include going out in
groups, not leaving a place with a
stranger, never hitchhiking, and avoid
ing poorly-lit parking areas.
However, Svoboda conceded that
even after following every safety tip,
little can be done to prevent someone
from hurting another person if they
really want to, and that the best protec
tion is awareness.
“Use your head to protect your
body,” she said. “If your partner ap
pears not to be listening to you, or if a
situation just feels unsafe, then it prob
ably is.”
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