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About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (April 1, 1996)
Classified 00s For Sale For sale: pizza oven, hardly used. If interested, call the Subway restaurant in the Nebraska Union. Announcements Meeting for the Eternally Lost has been moved to ... somewhere else. Watch this space for more infor mation. New women’s discussion group forming to discuss the works of Ayn Rand. Meeting tonight in the Nebraska Union. Drugs Off Campus (DOC) has been cancelled for the fact that everyone got some good weed and are just too baked to make any meeting until this buzz wears off. And we need a pizza, dude! Gymnasts for Ayn Rand discussion group. Meeting tonight in the Selleck cafeteria. Announcing a scholarship for a rejected group of UNL students: if you are a rich white male who can barely keep a 2.0 because of too many beer bongs, take heart. There is a scholar ship for you. Apply now in the office of Impoverish ment and Financial Harm. Support group for nudists who enjoy objectivism, the philosphy of Ayn Rand. Meeting tonight at Branched Oak Lake. Wanted Wanted: national champi onship rings. Will post bail. 'DOGBERT, DO YOU WANT TO READ THE COPTICS/ 1 SECTION]? WHY SHOULD I ? I CAN) LAUGH AT YOU AMY m I UAWT. l CO ® a CO ® UL ■O ® c - 3 i o See what everyone is reading. Catch Dilbert® - every day in the comics. Wanted: someone who will love me like none other. Must subject themselves to all other sorts of frivolity. Must enjoy Yoko Ono music. If interested, contact ANUS office. Personals I’m sitting in my dorm room in my underwear, playing with my pet hamster Hugo and we like to talk about death. Respond via person als, e-mail or chanting. We’ll hear you. Non-traditional student seeks ferret to have extra marital relationship with. Must not be afraid of heights and have a love for opera, tapioca pudding and Canadian hieroglyphics. No freaks or Ayn Rand lovers, please. Respond via ESP. I’m an author who is looking for a single, lonely guy who is hip to my philosophy, Objectivism. Call me at 555-6789. Ask for Ayn. Lost and Found Lost: my mother. If found, keep her. Lost: Dignity. If found, call the Gamma Delta Theta Beta Sigma Delta house. Found: Someone’s virgini ty. Left it on my dorm floor. If you lost it, call me. 555 GONE Lost: common sense. If found, return to nearest ‘Nebraskans Against Same-Sex Marriages’ office, please. Lost: sense of reality. If found, see above. *' . •! 4 : • 1 Found: a cheap, safe parking spot close to campus. HA! Did you think I was serious?!? HA! Hein Wanted Peace keeper at home football games. Body armor supplied, U.N. experience a must. Will be responsible for clubbing drunk students. Firearms will be used. Interested? Contact ANUS or the Pathetic Department. Tired of living on the inside of a pot bong? The DEA is looking for dormie drug informants. Rat out your floor mates who are one toke over the line. Experi ence with the ATF and rabid drug dogs a plus. Complete disregard for the fourth amendment a must. Interested? Contact the Cain and Abel Hall resi dence director. Crossword Edited by Eugene T. Maleska No- 0506 _- ■ ■—i „ 1 - I « « hn I 10 Mil \ ACROSS 1 Firmness of purpose 8 Broiled 15 Board the Yankee Clipper 16 Lie back 17 Flighty person 19 Rims 20 Faultiest 21 Dotted, as with stars 22 Hail or farewell 23 Fleur-de 24 -Tin Tin 25 Be inclined 27 St.-fire 29 Let it stand 30 Makes beloved 32 Type of cross or cat 34 First lady 35 Napoleon’s marshal 36 Red headings 40 Muddlers 44 Fencing sword 45 Rows 47 Bovine animals 48 “Gotcha” cry 49 N.Y. winter time 50 Inhabitant: Suffix 51 Apollo’s mother 53 Fla. city 55 Taj Mahal’s site 56 What a chatterbox can do ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE ►9 Blanket 1 »0 Organized body . of knowledge 1 51 Thrift-shop ■ concerns 52 Triggerman DOWN 1 Expand credit 2 Animate 3 Salary 4 Eyes, to poets 5 H.S. chemistry room 6 Witness 7 Matriculates 8 Astronaut Virgil (Gus) 9 Command of a col. 10 Here, in Isere 11 Degrees of attys. 12 “-, egalite, fraternite” 13 Brutus and Antony, e.g. 14 Relaxation of hostilities 18 Decorate 26 Steel-plow pioneer 27 Upright 28 White National Monument 29 Sharp: Comb, form 31 Ancestors: It. 33 Shepherded 36 Land broker 37 Lift from under 38 Fab Four 39 Centuries: Fr. 40 Ingenuous 41 Pressing 42 Track previous steps 43 One of a eager’s pair 46 A son of Isaac and Rebecca 52 Gumbo vegetable 53 Annual theater award 54 "Moses” author 55 Mars: Comb, form 57 Entire 58 Uncle, in Uruguay
