' > Opinion Tuesday, February 20,1996 Page 4 Nebraskan Editorial Board University of Nebraska-Lincoln J. Christopher Haiti.Editor, 472-1766 Rainbow Rowell.Managing Editor Mark Baldridge.Opinion Page Editor DeDra Janssen.Associate News Editor Doug Kouma.Arts & Entertainment Editor JeffZeleny.Senior Reporter Matt Woody.Senior Reporter James Mehsling.Cartoonist Slim pickings Student seating also scarce at Missouri It appears that UNL is not the only place where students are relegated to “the cheap seats” by athletic department officials. This editorial appeared in the Feb. 9 issue of the University of Missouri-Columbia “Maneater.” It was written by Jennifer Campbell. Student seating at the Heames Center could be worse, but it also could be much better. Some students are lucky enough to sitcourtside, but most watch men’s basketball games from their seats in the rafters. Something is wrong with this arrangement. The past several years have been sprinkled with cam paigns for better student seat ing. The 1994-95 MSA ad ministration of Steve McCartan and Ryan Gerding made some progress by in creasing student seating in the “A” section. GPC Presi dent Ken Smith is now work ing toward the formation of a task force that will bring stu dents, alumni and the ath letic department together to discuss the issue. Recent progress toward better seating has been achieved by students. The de cision to increase student seating, though, doesn’t be long to the students. That decision ultimately belongs to the athletic department Athletic director Joe Castiglione said better student seating was a department priority, but so far the athletic department has taken little initiative to achieve that goal. Understandably, the athletic department must answer to more than just the students. Alumni donate thousands of dollars to MU’s teams each year, and losing their support would mean the downfall of Tiger athletics. Therefore, alumni are offered prime seating at basketball and football games. Keeping the alumni happy is good. Keeping the students happy also is good. The athletic department, however, seems to have trouble maintaining its double standard. And when one group’s satisfaction is weighed with the other, students get shafted every time. But despite the conflict of interest, the athletic department has made a promise. The department claims it is committed to offering better student seating. Now, it has an obligation to follow through with its claim. Editorial policy Staff editorials represent the official policy of the Fall 1995 Daily Nebras kan. Policy is set by the Daily Nebras kan Editorial Board Editorials do not necessarily reflect the views of the university, its employees, the students or the NU Board of Regents. Editorial columns represent the opinion of the author. The regents publish the Daily Nebraskan. They establish the UNL Publications Board to supervise die daily production of die paper. Accord ing to policy set by the regents, respon sibility for die editorial content of the newspaper lies solely in die hands of its students. Letter policy The Daily Nebraskan welcomes brief letters to the editor from all readers and interested others. Letters will be selected for publication on the basis of clarity, originality, timeliness and space available. The Daily Nebraskan retains the right to edit or reject all material submitted. Readers also are welcome to submit mate rial as guest opinions. The editor decides whether material should run as a guest opinion. Letters and guest opinions sent to the newspaper become the property of the Daily Nebraskan and cannot be re-, turned. Anonymous submissions will not be pub lished. Letters should include the author’s name, year in school, major and group affiliation, if any. Re quests to withhold names will not be granted. Submit material to: Daily Nebraskan, 34 Nebraska Union, 1400 R SL Lincoln, Neb. 68588-0448. COV\E "TO THINK OF \\mii W DO M OF &MWI im. V J Unanswered question Cookies can’t determine the meaning of life I, like all other curious men and women, seek the answer to the ultimate question. What is the meaning of life? The question has been asked since the dawn of time, when Cro Magnon man first began to ask why he was on the planet, what his existence was supposed to prove and why keeping a sabertoothed tiger as a pet was a really crappy idea. Men like Socrates, Newton, Einstein, Ronald Reagan and Bill Gates have asked the question. Reagan and Gates actually discov ered the meaning — Reagan simply forgot the answer and Gates lost track of it while trying to make it user-friendly. Could it be possible for a college student like myself to discover the meaning of life? A guy whose most intellectual accomplishment occurred when he constructed a science fair project that self destructed Well, no... But I’m getting close. You see, I discovered that the secret of life is trapped within a hollow, 1-inch by 1-inch creation of flour, sugar, soybean oil, natural flavors and a mess of long artificial flavors names I’m too lazy to type out. The secret to life is in a fortune cookie. Yes, those of you who recently had a bite to eat at the “Imperial Palace Express” may have thrown away the secret to life without even knowing it. Yet don’t worry — you can buy a NEW secret to life for a mere 10 cents (plus sales tax). As I’ve said before and will say again: “No I’m not on crack, smoking pot or am inhaling a finely brewed mixture of fumes from common household cleaning products. I’m simply going off my nineteen years of wisdom and enough MSG consumed from Chinese food to make even the Statue of Liberty feel bloated. Kasey Kerber “Could it be possible for a college student like myself to discover the meaning of life?... Well, no... But Pm getting close. ” To prove my point, I spent 30 cents (plus sales tax) and now have three fortunes that hold the meaning of the meaning of life. I will now explain how each opens the gateway to divine knowledge. The first fortune says: “Nature, time and patience are the three best physicians.” Uh, okay... Well, we can see that after you’re hurt in a recent “ended” relationship — nature, time and patience are the three best remedies. “Nature” is to age that guy or girl who dumped you into a miserable, shriveled up mass of wasted memories. “Time” is to make sure they don’t forget what they’ve done to you, and “patience” is waiting for them to die!!! Calm dammit! Calm... Okay, next fortune. “You are an individual interested in foreword thrust and the future”. Now here’s a fortune that holds the secret of life! The “foreword thrust” does not mean that the individual is interested in medieval combat or the “Highlander” televi sion program. It means they go forward forcefully and too rashly. Yes, that’s it — all individuals go too quickly into the future. No, wait * a minute ... that would mean construction workers work too fast to create future roads instead of leaning on shovels, sipping Gatorade and waiting for the next “hot honey” to blow past them in a convertible. Crap ... OK fine ... the last fortune. “You will make a profitable investment”.' Ah-ha! Finally, a true fortune! Yes, you will in fact send money to me at my address of “ 1150 Uramoron Drive, Lincoln, Nebraska 68508”. I can tell that you’ll be grabbing for your wallets and purses just as soon as Florida will be returning to a National Championship game, botching this fortune as well. So none of the three fortunes hold the answer to the meaning of life. What does this mean? First, it means that I have absolutely no idea of what I’m talking about and second, it means that the answers to life’s hardest questions are never in black and white. Many of the answers we have to find out on our own and we’ll be just as responsible for the consequences if we don’t discover them as I’ll be if I use one more sweetened food item as a column topic. Life is a grand journey of experiences, decisions, regrets, joys, wisdom gained and wisdom lost. I’m not in the position to discover the “meaning” of it all and neither is the guru who writes for the fortune cookie company. The meaning of life is what you make of it. And I wasted 30 cents (with sales tax) to figure that out... Kerber is a freshman news-editorial major and a Daily Nebraskan colamalst Send your brief letters to: Daily Nebraskan, 34 Nebraska Union, 1400 R St., Lincoln, Neb. 68588, or Fax to (402) 472 1761, or email Let ters must be signed and include a phone num ber for verification.