Being naked
Americans see the human body as dangerous
Last week, tne Rec Center
advertised its expanded massage
therapy program. Because my back
had been aching recently, I made an
appointment for a 25-minute
session.
I would have enjoyed the
massage very much had I not been
asked to wear a sports bra.
Unfortunately, the sports bra made
the work of the otherwise excellent
therapist clumsy and prevented
him from using large, length-wise
movements in my back, neck and
shoulders. The therapist was doing
his best, but it was obvious that
the results were not as good as
they would have been if any extra
clothes were not needed.
Exceptionally shy people should
be allowed to wear sports bras or
even T-shirts if that makes them feel
more comfortable, but why must we
all do the same? For most of us it is
absolutely clear the therapist is a
professional at his work, without
any hidden agendas. If I had any
doubts about the nature of the
massage, I wouldn’t have made an
appointment in the first place.
I’ve been thinking about the
reason for the necessity of the sports
bra, and the only one I’ve come up
with is that this silly rule is just
another manifestation of the difficult
relationship many Americans have
with the idea of nudity.
Another example of the same
phenomenon occurred last semester
in an English class. We were talking
about the “Odyssey,” and some
people seemed to be offended by the
number of naked people who appear
on the book, for instance having
baths in the ancient Greek style.
There were students who apparently
thought of this as proof of the
Greeks’ lack of morals and decency.
I couldn’t agree with them because
the literature of my country is full of
descriptions of baths and saunas,
and therefore also of nude people.
sf'j'The sauna is a wonderful
invention. In Scandinavia, where
winters are long and cold, there’s
Veera Supinen
"As a European, I find it
strange and sad that the
Daily Nebraskan has
more than one ad of
abortion clinics or
adoption services every
day but hardly ever a
condom ad. ”
nothing better than taking a sauna at
least once a week. And because
saunas are such nice places, they are
very popular among young people.
And there we are, all naked and
happily chatting to each other.
Later, we put our clothes on and act
perfectly normal. Of course, we
often have to explain to foreigners,
especially Americans, the distinc
tion between the Scandinavian
saunas and orgies, but we are used
to it. As a matter of fact, nobody
would even think about sex in the
sauna. It is too hot, too pleasant in
other ways, and somehow also too
“sacred” — an excellent place to
meditate.
And naturally, we have to be
naked in the sauna. If someone
would insist on keeping a swimming
suit on, the others would consider
this person extremely weird (it
definitely feels better to be naked in
a sauna) as well as not hygienic. In
public swimming halls, visitors are
supposed to wash themselves and
take off their swimming suits before
entering the sauna.
Curiously enough, the instruc
tions at the Campus Recreation
Center are the opposite — “Be sure
that you wear a proper attire while
in the sauna (towel, shorts, etc.).
This is for health and safety rea
sons.” Most Americans wash
themselves regularly and are
concerned about their hygiene. How
is it possible to argue that a wet,
sweaty towel, often already used at
the gym, could be more hygienic
than a clean human body? An
important factor behind this and
many similar rules must be a
concern for those people who find
naked human bodies disturbing.
I would laugh at the Americans’
prudishness as most Scandinavians
do, and patiently explain our points
of view over and over again. Except
it seems to me that Americans’
opinions on sexuality and nudity are
not just harmless and a little bit
naive but a sign of a more serious
cultural trauma.
In today ’s America, as in
Victorian times, the human body
and sexuality are often considered
dirty, dangerous and shameful. At
the same time, however, the
American media is obsessed with
the subject. Somehow the whole
picture reminds me of a bunch of
elementary school kids who, during
a field trip to a museum, are peeking
at the naked statues.
I don’t claim that the United
States’ many sexually related
problems, such as teen-age preg
nancy, AIDS and sexual crimes are
direct consequences of this some
times twisted attitude many Ameri
cans still have toward their sexual
ity. I do believe, however, a
liberated discussion on sex and a
more natural approach to the human
body could be a healthy way to start
solving these problems. As a
European, I find it strange and sad
that the Daily Nebraskan has more
than one ad of abortion clinics or
adoption services every day but
hardly ever a condom ad.
An American friend of mine told
me —just between you and me —
sometimes after taking a shower he
likes to walk in his apartment with
no clothes on!
I hope he’s not feeling too guilty
about it.
Supinen is a Junior history major and a
Daily Nebraskan columnist.
Career choice
Salesman encounters many odd customers
Aside from keeping chemistry
professors employed, I spend my
free time selling appliances for a
local company. (Editor’s note: I
have spoken with Steve and he has
agreed not to plug his company,
Merchandise Mart, in this
article..er .dammit!)
I’m quite proud of my prowess
with appliance sales and am willing
to bet my life savings (A total of
$62,875 owed to Erotica Enterprise)
that by the time you’re through
reading this article, four out of five
of you will skip class to buy a salad
shooter.
The other person; no doubt the guy
who likes Ayn Rand, will sit there and
wish he were a tortoise. (Confidential
to Ayn Rand guy: Erotica Enterprises
loves me very much, please don’t
shoot me. — Steve)
Here is a typical conversation
between myself and a potential
appliance customer.
Customer: “Excuse me sir, How
many cycles does this dishwasher
have?”
Me: “This particular dishwasher
is still suffering severe emotional
distress from the O.J. verdict and is
not for sale. I suggest you try our
competitor down the street who is
not only cheaper, but more impor
tantly, doesn’t allow his appliances
to watch TV.”
Customer: “Rot in hell.”
This conversation generally takes
place nine times a day and is
accompanied by unusually large
amounts of the phrase “Yo’ momma
fat boy!”
You’re probably thinking you
could do a better job. I’m here to
tell you that selling appliances is
anything but easy.
How would you combat an irate
customer who demands to know
what time you close and how much
something is? I deal with these kinds
of “people” every day.
Steve Willey
“I’m quite proud of my
prowess with appliance
sales and am willing to
bet my life savings (A
total of $62,875 owed to
Erotica Enterprise) that
by the time you ’re
through reading this
article, four out of five of
you will skip class to buy
a salad shooter. ”
Not everything about selling
appliances is evil, however. Being
downtown, my store provides
shelter for all kinds of strange
humans.
Every day, a man named
“Clovis” comes in and shops for a
“Ram-Rod.” (I’m not making this
up.) He has a problem with his
tongue and cannot pronounce the
word “poontang” without getting big
laughs from other customers and
myself.
If I’m ever fortunate enough to
make a sale, I get what is called a
“commission.” Now I’m not
positive, but I think the word
“commission” has French origins.
Charlemene LeReaux, a large
employer in Paris during the late
1800s, is credited with first develop
ing the idea of commissions.
Legend has it, LeReaux was
Europe’s leading producer of rabbit
spit. Because of understandably
small sales, he developed the
commission idea to distract his
employees from realizing they
weren’t making any money whatso
ever.
Customer: “Polly Vou France’”
LeReaux: “We, and I alzo zell
Le’Rabeet Speet.”
Customer: “Rot in hell.”
Here’s a helpful hint. If any of
you decide that a sales career is
indeed for you, to ensure success,
try to remember two simple things.
Either stay in Nebraska, or target
elderly people who think you’re
Boris Yeltsin. The reason I say to
stay in Nebraska is becaufflp I have
discovered a sure-fire sales method.
As long as you say Toni Osborne
has used, recommended or sneezed
on your product, you are guaranteed
an instant sale.
Nebraskans will pay phenomenal
amounts of money for those items.
Rumor has it a man in Elsie, Neb.,
paid $1,300 for a pair of underwear
that was supposedly “christened” by
Tom himself.
Personally, I’m not conniving
enough to be an underwear sales
man. (Which, by the way, is listed as
the third-most conniving job in
America, behind only the Presi
dency and Athletic Director of
UNL.)
I’m going to stick with selling
appliances. I’m not one for quitting
and taking the easy road.
And I’ll bet my chemistry
teachers are thrilled to hear that.
Willey is a Junior ag-jourualism major
and a Dally Nebraskan columnist
Lenient parents add
to teen-age behavior
Here’s another entry for Bill
Bennett’s Index of Leading
Cultural Indicators: The 26th
annual survey of high-achieving
teen-agers — those listed in
Who’s Who Among American
High School Students — reveals
that cheating is common in their
schools, whereas studying hard is
not.
These kids are not members of
minority groups, nor are they
disadvantaged—arguably, they
are too advantaged. The vast
majority are suburban, white kids
who attend public schools,
reports The Washington Times.
Eighty-nine percent said cheating
is common at their schools, and
76 percent admit to cheating on
tests themselves.
If this is true of the highest
achieving high school students,
what does this tell us about the
average kid?
There’s more bad news in this
survey. The kids paint a picture of
home life that is, if not quite
Sodom and Gomorrah, certainly a
very, very long way from “Father
Knows Best.” Three out of five
teen-agers who said they had sex
did so at home when their parents
were away. And one out of three
said their parents were aware that
they had “guests” at home in the
parents’ absence. One out of five
said they drank at the homes of
friends with their parents’
knowledge.
in otner words, parents are
willfully looking the other way as
their children cheat on tests, have
sex in their bedrooms and drink
alcohol. Only 13 percent of these
high-achieving high school
students said his or her parents
were “very strict.”
The lenience with which they
are familiar at home extends to
the classroom as well. “Too many
teachers are afraid to call kids on
cheating because they’re afraid
they’ll be sued,” Paul Krause,
publisher of Who’s Who, told the
Washington Times.
Apparently, they’re also afraid
of demanding serious work from
their charges. Fifty-four percent
of those surveyed said they spend
seven hours a week or fewer
studying. Contrast that with
reports from the A.C. Nielsen
company, showing that the
average teen-ager spends 21
hours a week watching television.
As much as I blame teachers,
unions and school bureaucrats for
dumbing down the curriculum in
the past 30 to 40 years, it is clear .
that they would not have been
able to get away with this theft
from the young without the tacit
collaboration of parents.
When teachers are afraid to
punish cheaters for fear of being
sued by irate parents, the tacit
compact between adults in the
community—the agreement to
socialize the young together —
has broken down. The image of
American schools that emerges
i—
Mona Charon
“Are we raising a
generation of spoiled
brats? Would you want
your children to attend
a school where some
kids get away with using
the f-ivord to their
teachers?”
from this survey is of warehouses
for understimulated and
underchallenged kids, kids who
are not learning right from wrong
but are probably internalizing all
the wrong lessons about their
“rights.”
A few years ago, The Wash
ington Post ran a story about my
neighborhood school system in
Fairfax County, Va. Teachers are
forced to endure ugly profanity
from their students on a regular
basis, the story said, because
parents decline to support the
teachers when complaints are
raised. The kids in Fairfax
County schools are from all over
the globe and represent many
races and religions, but it is fair
to say that a majority are white
and upper middle class. Fairfax,
with its huge complement of
federal workers as well as
lawyers, consultants and lobby
ists feeding off nearby Washing
ton, D.C., is one of the wealthier
counties in the nation.
Are we raising a generation of
spoiled brats? Would you want
your children to attend a school
where some kids get away with
using the f-word to their teachers?
Parents seem all too eager to
turn over the job of civilizing
their children to the schools. But
unless there is true cooperation
between parents and teachers —
unless teachers know that they
will be supported by parents if
they must discipline a child — the
job of inculcating basic values
like honesty cannot go forward.
Still, the news from the Who’s
Who survey is not all bad. Asked
to name the things that are “out”
among high schoolers, the
respondents listed “O.J. Simpson,
cocaine, and Bill and Hillary.”
OK, they also listed “Newt,” but
that just lends more credence to
the idea that they’ve been
neglecting their studies.
© 1996 Creators Syndicate, Inc.
The Daily Nebraskan will present a
guest columnist each week. Writers
from the university and community
are welcome.
Must have strong writing skills and
something to say.
Contact Doug Peters c/o the Daily
Nebraskan, 34 Nebraska Union, 1400
R St., Lincoln, NE 68588, or e-mail at
letters@unlinfo.unl .edu.
Or by phone at (402) 472-1782.