Moving up
Purchase helps clear path to writer heaven
You ’re living for nothing now; I
hope you 're keeping some kind of
record.
—Leonard Cohen
I bought this computer, the most
money I’ve ever spent on any one
thing.
A lap top. Everyone says that’s
cool. You blow, a LAP TOP? The
kind of thing that puts you, for sheer
coolness, almost on a par with
someone who’s been to Czechoslo
vakia.
That cool. Or almost. And
everyone wants to be .as cool as
you. All of which has reached
marvelously in me: the money,
the unfamiliar stress of having
scaled the heights of coolness —
I spent the weekend sick to my
stomach.
It doesn’t take a Freudian Junior
Decoder Ring to figure that out —
though a year ago I might not have
made the connection: I am worried/
sick.
I’m not used to being made
aware of the connection between my
body and my self. I was a person
who wanted to live in dreams;
increasingly, I have found myself
reminded that the dreams will be
short in any case: I am mortal.
Socrates and me.
Well, well.
"And spending that much money
(two semesters’ worth in terms of
tuition) on something so
devastatingly cool has quite caught
my breath. Indeed, even now, I am
deep in the throws of nausea — the
feeling of vertigo.
I have suffered for many years —
most of my life — from the terrible
twin fears of spending money and
looking cool.
I know that makes me one of the
buzzards, spiraling ever downward
cm currents of the invisible, de
scending on the corpse that others
killed — neither a mover nor a
shaker.
But I’m catching an updraft, and
I’m ready to try my wings: I am
prepared to brave both affluence
Mark Baldridge
“I have suffered for
many years- most of
my life-from the
terrible twin fears of
spending money and
looking cool ”
and hype if I have to — I’m ready
for my close-up, Mr. Devill. Er, um,
DeMille.
I am flustered, I am giddy. I am
so happy to be here. Got my shades
on.
All in an attempt to synchronize
my thoughts with my writing in new
and better ways.
I work so (expletive deleted)
hard for you people, and it’s not fair
that I have to wait my turn for
computer time with the rest of the
pedestrians. My fine and sensitive
nature demands a more accommo
dating world; hence, my purchase:
I’m only doing it for you.
I don’t mean you, of course. I
mean them. “Them” you.
You know who you are.
This is a secret message. Get out
your code books. I’m writing for
“them” you. Them you who are
reading for me.
I have a bet to settle with the
future and a late start at the gate, but
let me tell you, I’m coming up to -
meet you.
This is a message to posterity:
Come out with your hands up.
I finally realize what boasting is
— it is a message through time to
the future, for the gods who are
remembered from the past. The
immortals. They are there at the end
of time, of human memory, looking
back at us: Shakespeare, Goethe,
Cervantes—who will live as long
as humankind lasts.
Boasting is a shout that tries to
pass beyond those hearers who hear
into history. “I HAVE NOT YET
BEGUN TO FIGHT,” some
schmuck announces, and plunges,
head first, into destiny.
And the devil takes the hind
most.
There are lesser stars in that
heaven, of course, Kafka,
Montaigne, Mishima—and lesser
still. But it is this heaven to which I
aspire, the heaven of writers: those
gods who made the stories from
which we make the world.
Again and again remaking it.
So no, I do not mind a little
phobia, a little terror, a little
mountain of debt (who among you
never wanted for anything?) And I
will NOT believe the hype and I will
NOT be my best press secretary, my
own PR, but I tell you now:
My name is Ozymandeas: Hear
me roar.
And so I sit, sick at home on a
Monday afternoon, tip-tapping away
on my expensive cool new toy,
eating my comfort foods — the
comfort foods of many a poor
starving artist: Kraft Macaroni and
Cheese (a luxury) and sweet soda
pop. Planning my takeover of the
world.
My God, I feel like one of those
little mice—what are their names,
Pinky and the Brain? But I tell you
now, the world will remember this
silly cartoon years into the future
because I wrote it here, now. I will
take them, squealing, by the ear, into
history.
This is a message in a bottle, to
those who stand looking: Send Help
Quick! This era sucks!
Baldridge Is a sealor English major aad
a Dally Nebraska! colaaudst
A HERO!
Powell would bring hope back to America
Will America’s new president be
Sen. Bob Dole, or will we see the
same old stuff with Mr. Clinton and
the queen of espionage, Hillary
Rodham Clinton?
General Colin Powell is a man that
represents exactly what the United
States is in desperate search of, a
HERO!
He is the essence of the United
States, a brave leader who helped
lead an army to stop a crazed
dictator.
General Powell holds the power
to change the way the different
colors, religions and nationalities
interact with each other in American
society.
Our great country is the
multicultural melting pot of the
world, and we act the role with
perfection.
But the races are not one in 1996,
nor have they been in the great
history.
It is Colin Powell’s responsibility
to the world that he run for Presi
dent.
Powell would have been the
absolute best candidate for Presi
dent. It’s too bad he declined to
enter the mad race for the country’s
trust.
Powell, an African-American,
and a’genuine inspiration in the
United States community, also could
be the single most influential man in
race relations this country has ever
witnessed.
We neejd somebody real. Powell
is a real man, he is an American war
hero, upholds a stable family, and is
a minority.
As much as his skin color should
not matter in the race for president,
the reality, sad as it may be, is that it
does. The reason being is that so
many of people in our society have
an intolerable ignorance. It’s truly
Bob Ray
“It is Colin Powell’s
responsibility to the
world that he run for
President. ”
ugly!
The impact Powell could make
would be tremendous. It’s about
time that the American public stops
voting for a generation of World
War II veterans. That entire genera
tion is trapped in the mind-set that
WWII was just yesterday and things
shouldn’t change. I’ve got a big
wake-up call for those gimpy old
men: Sit down, find your remote,
turn on the television and retire!
If Powell would run for presi
dent, he could win, and the monoto
nous tradition of lawyers and
millionaires would come to an end
on Capitol Hill. At least for the time
being.
The cynical mustard gas that has
invaded our great country is holding
us back, and the international world
is realizing that our society needs a
serious tuck.
The United States comes to
everyone’s aid, what we need to do
is concentrate on our own people
first, set a new example for the rest
of the world, and begin setting the
tone for the way this globe works as
we did in the past.
Does anyone remember when Cal
Ripken Jr. played his 2,130th game
just this September?
If you watched the pre- and
postgame, you’ll know what I am
trying to say. Almost all of America
watched this man, a professional
baseball player, walking around a
stadium filled with an emotion that
literally seemed to glow out of the
television and into our hearts.
I mean it, not only myself, but all
of the people around me were
seriously moved by this moment.
And that is the essence of
America. We are a people in search
of a glorious hero, an individual,
whether male, female, black, white;
yellow or whatever.
Our society is lacking a hope, a
hope that America was founded on,
the future. We need to regain that
incredible feeling and excitement.
The last thing we all need is
another old fart reading from a cue
card and smothering the public with
promises and statistics.
You know what, just get the
damn job done, speak to us from
your heart and take some risks. If
American politicians can’t perform
those tasks, then I suggest they go
into another profession, like selling
used cars!
We have to get our hope and
optimism back; we need a restora
tion period of sorts. A time to re
evaluate our thoughts and morals.
We need to recapture America’s
youth and spirit, and despite what
the cynics may say, it’s never too
late, we all need to remember that!
Ray b a seal or broadcasting major and
a Dally Nebraskan colnmnlst
U.S. budget problem
intensifies politics
WASHINGTON — Unless
you believe that the Russians are
still secretly messing with our
weather, it is clear that the gods
are angry. The great East Coast
blizzard of ’96 — which made a
routine three-hour return trip from
the Republican presidential
debate in Columbia, S.C., a three
day ordeal — is proof enough of
that.
Standing at Dulles Airport in
Northern Virginia, late on the
third night of the adventure and
almost within reach of home, I
joined a milling crowd of weary
travelers being sorted into
occasional taxis by two very
overworked and harassed
dispatchers. Their system was a
fine one in theory. When you
reached the curb, one dispatcher
gave you a number between 1 and
100. When a taxi showed up, the
other dispatcher would call a
number and then fill the cab with
other travelers — irrespective of
number — headed for the same
general destination.
I’m sure the system seemed
efficient to the executive — in a
warm office — who designed it.
But by the time one dispatcher
had sorted out the claims of the
five people who desperately
wanted to fill the “one seat to
Bethesda” in an imminently
departing cab, he had forgotten
which number was next. Every
one bellowed out his own as the
right answer and the dispatcher
chose at random.
An Englishman, standing in
the slush after a much-delayed
trans-Atlantic flight, looked over
and remarked, “You Americans
do have a knack.”
Well, it’s true, we do. And if
the Dulles taxi lottery doesn’t
convince you, the budget negotia
tions and the presidential primary
system certainly should. We
Americans have produced a
system for running our govern
ment and choosing our top leader
that no other nation can match.
Luckily for them.
The basic task of a budget is
simply to finance the operations
of government for the next year.
Budget-making is largely in the
hands of Congress, but in our
Constitution, the president,
through the veto power, is part of
the legislative process. Since the
1920s; when a statute allowed the
president first crack at presenting
a spending plan for the year, that
role has been enhanced.
In 1995, President Clinton
took a pass on that responsibility.
The budget he submitted ignored
the need, which he had previously
acknowledged and the 1994
elections had clearly reinforced,
to move the government toward
ending deficits. So the congres
sional Republicans went ahead on
their own. Periodically, and not at
all helpfully, Clinton would pop
up with new budget suggestions
of his own, progressively closer
to the Republican plan.
Meantime, however, he was
vetoing appropriations bills, and
the Republicans, instead of
revising them sufficiently to meet
his objections, as is normally the
case, held them hostage — thus
forcing two partial shutdowns of
government.
David Broder
“We Americans have
produced a system for
running our
government and
choosing our top leader
that no other nation can
match. Luckily for
them. ”
Having scrambled matters as
thoroughly as the Dulles taxi line,
both Clinton and the Republicans
now watch nervously to see which
of them gets blamed.
Blame ‘em both. They deserve
it.
The endless budget battle now
has overlapped into the start of a
front-loaded, foreshortened
presidential nomination season
for the Republicans, providing the
putative favorite, Senate Majority
Leader Bob Dole, R-Kan., a
perfect excuse for avoiding such
supposedly significant events as
the South Carolina debate.
The next budget deadline is set
for Jan. 26, barely 17 days before
Iowa begins a cascade of contests
that will settle the Republican
nomination, possibly as early as
New Hampshire on Feb. 20,
almost certainly by California on
March 26. There is no time for
second thoughts.
Without Dole, most of the
others are campaigning as if they
were running for sheriff. There
are great issues to be discussed in
1996. The future of Medicare,
Medicaid and the welfare safety
net—all matters of intense
controversy between Clinton and
the Republican Congress — are
important enough to fuel a
national election.
But the Republicans have a
penchant for the picayune. In
South Carolina, for example, Pat
Buchanan reminded the audience
that he had stood foursquare for
keeping women out of The
Citadel, the military college in
Charleston, and for keeping the
Confederate battle flag flying
over the state capitol in Colum
bia. The next president, presum
ably, will have a lot to say about
those questions.
On the other hand, there is
Sen. Dick Lugar, R-Ind., who is
afflicted with the crippling notion
that an important office deserves
a serious campaign. So when
Buchanan asked a barbed
question about why we should be
wasting money on foreign aid,
when Medicare and Medicaid are
facing cuts, Lugar told the
audience just how useful foreign
aid had been in disarming Russia
and nudging the Middle East
toward peace.
The reward for his thoughtful
ness is that he is running about
even in the polls with Alan
Keyes.
As the visitor said at Dulles,
we Americans “do have a knack.”
(c) 1996, Washington Post Writers
Group
BE OUR GUEST
The Daily Nebraskan will present a guest columnist each week. Writers
from the university and community arc welcome.
Must have strong writing skills and something to say.
Contact Doug Peters c/o the Daily Nebraskan, 34 Nebraska Union,
1400 R St., Lincoln, NE 68588, or e-mail at letters@unlinfo.unl.edu.
Or by phone at (402)-472-1782.