Underwear selection matters
Since I’m on top this week, let’s
talk about underwear.
So guys, is it boxers or briefs?
The masses are dedicated to
their choices — briefs fans are
adamant that their standard is the
best and boxer-men won’t do the
tighty-whitey thing unless it’s
laundry time.
And women are just as picky —
either they love the form-fitting,
cotton, bum-hugging briefs on their
guys or the loose, flappin’ in the
breeze boxers.
Personally, I’m a boxers kind of
woman. They’re elegant, stylish,
easily accessible ... and generally
missing the stripe on the butt,
though that’s a matter of proximity.
Boxers also come in better
colors and patterns than briefs
could ever hope to be. Paisleys,
flowers, smiley faces, fluorescent
polka-dots, neon, fireplaces that
glow in the dark, baseball bats,
greek letters or “Huskers” on the
butt.
But I’m biased. I had a pretty
negative experience with a tighty
whitey sighting on what I consid
ered a less-than-desirable indi
vidual.
A few years back I discovered a
strange thing — totally by acci
dent. I was taking a poll at a high
school speech and debate tourna
ment about what kind of underwear
the guys were sporting, boxers or
briefs.
And someone said both.
Both?
Why would anyone wear boxers
and briefs? That would be like a
woman wearing cotton briefs with
a G-string over ‘em. Not too
comfortable in my estimation.
So I called the guy a liar; I
didn’t believe that anybody would
really double up in the undergar
ment department.
But I was so wrong.
Weightlifting class, my senior
year. The guys in the class were
having a bench pressing contest. I
was on the leg lift machine across
from the bench and got an inadvert
ent glance up one gent’s gym
shorts.
And he was wearing briefs and
Jessica Kennedy
7 was taking a poll at a
high school speech and
debate tournament
about what kind of
underwear the guys
were sporting, boxers or
briefs. And someone
said both. ”
boxers!
I was flabbergasted ... it really
did happen.
So what’s the motivation? I’ve
asked many guys over the years —
most don’t know why.
The ones who did know, said the
most common reason was that guys
want to combine fashion and style.
Basically, they’re too cool to wear
white, cotton briefs alone, but too
practical to give up the comfort.
Boxers over the briefs is the
result. I suppose it could be an
expression of style and personality.
Or outrageousness. Or exhibition
ism.
A recent issue of Glamour
magazine opened up a whole new
world of men’s underwear to me. I
hadn’t realized that guys had so
many options open to them; you’d
never guess that the world of men’s
undergarments is so varied.
I mean, women’s choices really
are incredible. We have whole
stores and large departments
dedicated to our lingerie. But guys?
Well, their undershorts may take up
a couple of racks. And they’re
usually displayed with socks, hats,
and mittens.
Women really do have lots of
choices — we have Miracle bras,
Wonder bras, demi bras, french cut,
brief, G-string, silk, satin, cotton,
padded bras, removable padding,
underwire or not, lace, bustier,
garters, thigh-hi, front close and
back close.
But you know, guys aren’t doing
too poorly for only having one
strategic area to cover. Glamour
laid it all out — guys have the
biker-short boxers, boxers, briefs,
lo-riding briefs, french-cut briefs,
G-strings, the boxer-briefs, or
nothing. Not to mention the choices
of cotton, satin, silk or some hybrid
fabrics.
One of my favorite college
memories involves underwear — or
the lack thereof.
I was a freshman working for a
local radio station, and we did a
college night at the now defunct
Easy-street.
We called him the “Thorough
bred.” He had the most amazing
body. And in all fairness, was
lacking a little upstairs!
But, he had a penchant for
sharing what kind of underwear he
wore. One night he wore a red, silk
G-string. Another night his jeans
were so tight he couldn’t wear
anything.
My best friend and I still get
goofy when we think about die
“Thoroughbred.”
The type of underwear a guy
dons, really does matter. And
most definitely can have a
profound effect on the women
around him.
Before picking up that three
pack of Fruit of the Loom at
Shopko next time, think twice.
Wouldn’t it be a nice change to
try something a little different, or
kinkier?
r** | i ‘ •n-Jt |5
Kennedy is a broadcasting, advertising
and Integrated studles/pubUc relations maj or
and a Daily Nebraskan columnist.
Mom’s dating advice falls flat
When you people first saw my
photo here in the DN, I’ll bet you
did one of two things.
You either:
A) rushed hurriedly to the
bathroom to vomit, or
B) had to ask a friend if Elvis
and Jerry Garcia had conceived a
son together.
I agree, both thoughts ARE
warranted. I’ll be the first to admit
that I’m not the most attractive of
humans, although I did rank third
in a recent poll comparing my
looks to those of various species of
goats.
Being “grotesquely hideous” as
most nuns put it, wouldn’t be that
bad if it didn’t hamper my ability
to attract females.
Humans unquestionably have it
the worst when it comes to love
and relationships. Have you ever
seen two dogs simultaneously “fall
in love” in the middle of a street?
It’s truly a beautiful experience,
and one, if the opportunity were to
present itself, that I would probably
pay decent money to watch again.
Dogs don’t care if their lover is
say, a good 200 pounds overweight
and a flaming alcoholic. Dogs love
each other for who they are.
It’s unfortunate that we, as
mammals, can’t live by these dog
guidelines.
As for me, my problems with
females can be traced as far back ai
my earliest childhood days. You
see, I never had a sister when I was
growing up.
This may not seem catastrophic
here in Nebraska, but in Missis
sippi, you are required by law to
marry AT LEAST one of your
sisters.
If you have no sisters, the law
merely requires that “one chase
automobiles with a garden hose”.
The friends of mine who were
fortunate enough to have sisters
Steve Willey
“In Mississippi, you are
required by law to
marry AT LEAST one of
your sisters. If you have
no sisters, the law
merely requires that ‘one
chase automobiles with
a garden hose.
were usually married by the time
they finished third grade.
My father, to this day, still
refers to himself as a widow
because he lost a sister in child
birth.
While in Nebraska, I haven’t
done much better with women. I’ve
» dated three girls seriously since
arriving at this university.
In all fairness however, I should
point out that all of these girls
STILL have no idea who I am, and
generally run to well-lit areas when
I attempt to confront them about
our relationships.
Since my love-life was (and is)
non-existent, I decided to call my
mom. Moms have that unique way
of letting a person know how
special they really are, using only
the words “sweetie” and “honey”.
“Sweetie,” my mom purred.
“You’re much too fat to be worried
about dates.”
My mother went on to name a
few methods that are sure-fire ways
to attract girls. These methods
include holding doors open, writing
poetry, and keeping the use of the
word “poon-tang” to a bare
minimum.
Moms are usually right on target
when it comes to impressing girls.
After all, in a demented, round
about way, they used to be girls at
one point.
This time however, my mother
lead me astray. I tried every one of
her suggestions only to watch them
hopelessly fail.
I’ll be the first to admit that my
poem “I like your breasts” was not
exactly what my mother intended
when she mentioned poetry.
I have also found out that it
helps tremendously, when one is
holding doors open, to make sure
there is a female who is desiring to
either enter or exit.
This requirement is crucial — if it
isn’t met you are likely to be yelled
at by adults for letting cold air in.
Women are truly amazing.
When a man has a woman’s love,
the entire world comes to a halt —
especially chemistry lectures. I
can’t help but love women.
They may find me repulsive and
odorous as a human, but if they
take the time to look beyond my
outer appearance, I think they’ll be
content with the internal Steve.
After all, Elvis and Jerry Garcia
were loved by millions and they
weren’t particularly attractive. And
now everyone misses them terribly.
Well, everyone except then
bones. I mean, the dories weighed a
ton.
Steve Willey Is a junior ag-journalism
mqjor and a Dally Nebraskan colnmnlst
...doomed
Oct. 31, 1994
James Mehsling/DN
“The dead showed themselves in visions and in
dreams, or in voices and omens or signs. ”
Linda Harris
I
Wicca weaves earth,
spirituality, witchcraft
Halloween comes but once a
year — and this year is no
exception.
By Patty Wewel
Staff Reporter <
The Rev. Linda Harris takes
Halloween seriously. Harris, a
witch, considers the day a holy
one.
An honorary doctor of
divinity, Harris is the reverend of
the Chalice Circle, a church that
practices a witchcraft called
Wicca.
But don’t expect to see Harris
and the members of the circle
riding around on broomsticks
and turning people into toads.
“Every minority has had some
sort of reputation,” Harris said.
“Most haven’t lasted as long as
ours.”
Wicca, which has existed
since the neolithic or paleolithic
eras, is a pagan earth religion
that strives for harmony and a
natural living relationship with
the earth and its elements.
Just as Christianity has
several different denominations,
Wicca groups have many
different types and traditions.
Harris practices Moriah
Wicca, which is not a typical
Wicca group. The group is a
highly spiritual teaching coven
that studies and accepts several
different beliefs, including
astrology, Egyptian religions and
the teachings of Christ.
Halloween, or Samhain, is the
high holy day that celebrates the
death time of year and also
commemorates the witches’
ancestry.
Harris said the witches
believed that during harvest time
God was sacrificed in the form
of crops or animals.
“The Feast of The Dead,” as
the holiday is called, also is a
time to honor loved ones, she
said.
Around Halloween, psychic
energy runs high, die said. The
veil between the physical and
spiritual world is thin and can be
parted by strong emotion.
“The dead showed themselves
in visions and in dreams, or in
voices and omens or signs,”
Harris said.
Society’s way of celebrating
Halloween — with costumes and
candy — was fun, Harris said.
But she said the holiday put
witches in a bad light.
That bad reputation was
created by the church and
medical professionals, she said.
During the inquisition, nine
million people, mostly women
and girls, were sentenced to
death for witchcraft, she said.
Harris said people blamed
witchcraft for every wrong,
from a neighbor’s cow drying
up to a woman having a
miscarriage.
Physicians, who were mostly
male, also led to the bad
reputation of witchcraft, she
said.
Harris said the women
healers, or witches, competed
with the early physicians.
The demise of witches
benefited the medical profes
sion, she said.
Witch hunting also was a
profitable business, Harris said.
The church would confiscate
all of the lands and assets
belonging to the accused
witches.
And those who turned in
witches could get a proportion
of the confiscated lands and
assets, she said.
BE OUR GUEST
The Daily Nebraskan will present a guest columnist each Monday.
Writers from the university and community are welcome.
Must have strong writing skills and something to say.
Contact Mark Baldridge c/o the Daily Nebraskan, 34 Nebraska
Union, 1400 R St., Lincoln, NE 68588.
Or by phone at (402)-472-1782.