Garnish plucker seeks respect An Open Letter to Tom Osborne: All this past year, I have har bored a dream that Tom Osborne finally would acknowledge my contributions to the Huskers’ 1994 National Championship. I did my best to hide my disap pointment when Tom took the stand to make his victory speech, stopping to thank his parents, nis wife, his children, his dog, his cat, and die Husker fans. So what if he didn’t mention me, and how I devoted the best years of my life to his athletes? I told myself that recognition was meaningless. I hadn’t done it for the money, the glory, or the television endorsements. I had done it for the Huskers. By day, as a starving graduate student, I was but a cog in the great, greasy academic machine. But at night, as a caterer and tutor to the football team, I felt that my life had dignity, meaning and purpose. When the Huskers won a game, I knew that it was the pre-game chicken enchiladas I had prepared by hand and served at noon that powered every move they made. When they scored a touchdown, I knew it was my patient tutoring that helped them decipher their other wise cryptic playsheets. I, and my fellow caterers and tutors, fueled their minds and their bodies. I felt a maternal glow on those days, as I stood in the hot catering kitchen, slapping chicken patties on whole-wheat buns, cleverly arrang ing parsley and radishes as garnish. On other days, I tastefully ' arranged chopped-up luncheon meat and little crackers as the Huskers watched play-by-play videos. Often they flung a garnish across Debra Cumberland ‘7 ivalk by the stadium and press my face against the bars, in my best Oliver Twist imitation, remembering those days of glory when I had a hand in forging the Miracle at Miami. ” the room, but I didn’t mind picking up after them. After all, they needed the practice. If picking up garnish was what it took to get them to the National Championship, I was willing to do it. But as I slunk out of the catering office, in my little black skirt, tuxedo shirt and too-tight black pumps, I kept hoping, Q’ust like Adam and Eve) for a glimpse of God’s Hindquarters. I knew that Tom was there — just down the hall — because every week we wheeled milk and orange juice to the football players, while the coaches got beer and wine. I could hear the cries of protest from the players, and my heart bled. As I stood there, shredding lettuce, I imagined Tom coming up to me, his craggy face wreathed in smiles. He would beam down at me from On High and say in a slow, thick, (yet expressive) drawl, “Thanks, Deb.” And it would all be worth it —the garnish-picking, the swollen feet, and my refusal of higher paying jobs in my devotion to the Huskers. But it never happened. Of course, Tom was a busy man, I told myself two weeks before the playoffs, as I plucked more garnish from the floor. But any day I knew there would be an airline ticket to Miami. My heart beat faster as I approached the mailbox. Nothing. I tried to forgive Tom, I really did. And yes, I know that this is all in the past, and that I should let bygones be by gones. But now that football season is upon us again, the old wounds have reopened. I walk by the stadium and press my face against the bars in my best Oliver Twist imitation —remem bering those days of glory when I had a hand in forging the Miracle at Miami. In my little apartment, half an hour’s walk from campus, I can still hear every play as it’s belted from the million-dollar HuskerVision speakers, reminding me of how close I used to be to glory. It seems so long ago. C’mon, Tom. It would be so easy for you to help relieve the pain. Don’t make me wait any longer by the phone, or search the mail for the long-belated thank-you card. All I want is a free lunch. Cumberland Is a graduate stadeat la English aad a Dally Nebraskaa colamalst Mantle, Garcia live on in history The summer of 1995 has been a season of loss. America lost part of her past with the recent deaths of baseball great Mickey Mantle and Grateful Dead leader Jerry Garcia. Mantle and Garcia: Cultural icons who stood as significant pieces of our country’s social fabric. They served as the gateways to youth for millions of baby boomers. Both men had their devout fans. Both were gifted with talent and the ability to entertain. And sadly, both led fast lives that brought their untimely deaths. But there, the similarities pretty much cease. Mantle and Garcia were two very different men, grabbing the national spotlight during two very different eras. Mantle became a hero of the ’50s by hitting tape-measure home runs, chasing down fly balls and stealing bases. He made fathers and sons happy. He brought people together. Garcia gathered his congregation in the late 1960s and ’70s, by singing songs of the hippie philoso phy: drug use, despair and the usual barrage of such ’60s-type thinking. It was the followers of both men who revealed so much about the icons themselves. Mantle fans were always a happy lot; cheering the Mick’s long blasts and rooting for the belated twin of Babe Ruth. My father can describe, to perfection, the Mick’s swing. He tells me stories of how, as a child, he and his neighborhood friends would carry Mantle’s trading card everywhere—as they did their best to imitate every aspect of the Yankee’s game. Stories linger about how grown men would argue over who was better—Joe DiMaggio or the Mick. Any Mantle fan old enough to recall will tell you, in vivid description, the hits, the catches, the World Series games. Deadheads, on the other hand, can’t explain the phenomenon of Jamie Karl Now both Mantle and Garcia are free from their worldly problems. But their stories, their legacies ivill live on for a long time to come. Garcia and company. “You just had to be there, man,” Garcia fans will tell you. Truth is, they probably just can’t remember, since drugs contributed to much of the Dead experience. While both Garcia and Mantle led destructive lives off their respective stages, each brought a different message when the spotlight shined on him. Mantle was a hard-working, honest man. His performances brought out the best in everyone, as well as himself. Garcia was the spokesman for an entire subculture—a countercultural movement that cared nothing for hard work or self enrichment. Garcia s followers seemed to thrive off despair. Dead songs wallow in disaster—disaster that the band members and their fans too often escaped by narcotics use. Elder Deadheads still joke how Garcia was sometimes so stoned that he couldn't remember the lyrics to his own songs. It wasn't Mantle fans who tore down fences or attacked security guards, for which Dead fans suddenly became notorious in recent years. Sadly, neither man lived to be elderly. Yet both had time to reflect, reconsider and make right their mistakes. It is in these later innings of both men, where the true distinction between the two is found. In his last years of life, Mantle admitted his faults. He acknowl edged he had squandered his talents and warned his admirers he was no role model. After two years of treatment for his alcoholism, Mantle was dedi cated to getting his life back on track, even though most of the damage already had been done. In his years of alcohol abstinence, Mantle had come to embrace Christianity, along with starting an organ donor program to help those in similar situations. The Mick, even off the field, was a natural high. On the contrary, Garcia took his drug use lightly. He once tabbed heroin as “the perfect comfort drug,” and often joked about how he and his band’s members took time out for acid breaks during shows. That was the true fault of Garcia. While the Dead leader may have put out good music, his message was wrong. He misguided and brought destruction to many of his devotees. And not once did he publicly show remorse for his own abuses. Now both Mantle and Garcia are free from their worldly problems. But their stories, their legacies will live on for a long time to come. Fans and followers of both men will move on. They will have to. And as they do, time will determine the contributions of their heroes, and what they meant to us while they were still alive. Karl It a sealor aews-edltortal major aad the Daly Nebraskaa wire editor aad colamalst ■i INTERNET Five Things You Can Do To Fight Entropy Now Rom ana Machado “You can combat personal entropy now, with a campaign for personal enhancement through applied technology and hard science. ” This essay is for anyone who looks to a better future but has not yet begun an aggressive course of personal action toward that goal. Action is necessary, because “rust never sleeps.” If you do nothing, personal entropy wins. Entropy is a measure of increasing disorder, a force of nature that opposes the life of each person, driving all dullness, depression, disease, death and decay. Personal entropy is your sworn, sleepless enemy. There is much that each person can do, privately, to win against it. You can fight personal entropy by increasing personal extropy. What is personal extropy? Extropian Principles define , extropy as “a measure of intelli gence, information, energy, vitality, experience, diversity, opportunity, and capacity for growth.” How can personal extropy be increased? “Self-transformation is a process that increases personal extropy”, explains Extropian philosopher Max More. Self-transformation can begin with simple activities. Don’t wait for tomorrow’s technologies! You can combat personal entropy now, with a campaign for personal enhancement through applied technology and hard science. In this spirit, I offer five ways you can start to win right now. • One: Care for your mind. The Extropian Principles declare that “...living vigorously, effec tively, and joyously, requires dismissing gloom, defeatism, and ingrained cultural negativism.” But how can we do this? We can cultivate healthy optimism by making use of advances in psychology. Recently, there have been great advances in treatment of the physical factors that cause depression, especially in the use of new drug therapies such as Prozac. Prozac is now the most frequently prescribed mood altering drug in the U.S. Other new antidepressants, such as Deprenyl and melatonin, have been shown to extend lifespan and improve mental performance. Knowing the latest techniques of dealing with major problems can be useful in dealing with smaller difficulties, too. Remem ber, “if there’s no gardener, there’s no garden.” • Two: Care for your body. Why not get the best possible performance out of what you have now? By following a program of regular exercise, nutrition and supplementation, you can fight entropy on a visceral level every day. You can create a better body for yourself, right now, without waiting for advances in upload ing, and without a large invest ment. Fitness makes it possible to enjoy the present to the fullest. It has been shown to reduce depression and anxiety and to boost resistance to disease. Physically fit people look good and feel good. Recent psychological research confirms that looking good enhances your social life, and probably your finances, too. Using “smart drugs” and nutrients may also help you to get the best out of what you’ve already got. Smart drugs are substances that can enhance physical or mental performance with few unwanted side effects. • Three: Care for your financial security. Take advantage of what remains of capitalism and buy your own freedom to pursue life’s options. It really does not matter how brilliant you are if you cannot realize your dreams. Attaining financial goals requires strategy as well as personal effort. Effective financial planning can help you to use newer technologies sooner, as newer technologies are often more costly to use at first. What you spend now shapes your future self. Keeping track of your spending can help you to reveal your true priorities in action. Will you buy more computer power or more life-extending supplements? Will you erase debts? Budgeting can help to balance your priorities, and increase your personal extropy by expanding your opportunities and capacity for growth and change. • Four: Empower yourself. The Extropian Principles state that “We are evolving...towards a polycentric system of distributed power shared among autonomous agents.” To be prepared for a future that may be frill of difficult changes and survive in an entropic world, take personal responsibility for your security. Following a course of study in martial arts may help you to develop the proper attitude towards the use of force in self defense. Learn the proper use of devices and techniques that can protect you from harm. • Five: Get a cryonic suspen sion contract. Though entropy’s final assault - death - cannot yet be completely avoided, the most rational means of surviving past death available today is through cryonic suspension. Cryonic suspension arrange ments need not be expensive, and in most cases are funded by life insurance policies that cost less than $45 a month. When you have made these arrangements, neither death nor afterlife need concern you; you can more effectively bring your focus to the present, and the real possibilities of the future. This article appears in a more complete form oa the World Wide Web at: