Commentary
Twinkies: history in the eating
All hail the mighty Twinkie!
The Twinkie, everyone’s
favorite mass-produced, creme
filled confection, is celebrating a
milestone this year — its 65th
birthday.
Yes, since 1930, Twinkies have
been satisfying America’s youth. In
doing so, they have transcended
their original role of simple snack
food and have elevated themselves
to the status of cultural icon and
all-around good stuff.
Twinkies have been around
since before Social Security was
established, and they’ll be around
long after it’s been abolished.
Sixty-five years and counting of
success and prosperity for the
Twinkie Kid. It’s amazing.
We could learn a lot from the
Twinkie.
Twinkies thrived during the
Great Depression. They survived
World War II, Korea, Vietnam and
Desert Storm. They kept their
sanity during the air-raid drills,
missile crises and red scares of the
20th century. They probably
could’ve survived much worse.
Some scientists have said that if
the world ever witnessed a full
scale nuclear war, only cock
roaches and Twinkies would
survive.
Moreover, Twinkies show no
visible signs of aging. One can take
a Twinkie off the shelf, tear open
the package and still, until taking a
bite, not realize that it was one of
the original 1930 Twinkies. Soft,
spongy and appealing on the
surface, old, dried up and crusty
underneath — kind of like Cher.
As a kid, I was a Twinkies
junkie. I would sneak them before
dinner and hoard them in my room.
At night, after my bedtime, I would
hide under my covers and read
Doug Peters
comic books by the glow of a
flashlight — and eat Twinkies.
Although I have not eaten a
Twinkie in many years, I remain
very fond of them. Twinkies were
an integral part of my childhood. I
imagine they were a part of many
people’s childhoods. The afterglow
of our Twinkie-happy youths stays
with us as we grow older, as well.
Perhaps that’s because Twinkies
never pass entirely through our
digestive tracts, but remain wedged
in our bowels — a part of us, both
literally and figuratively — until
the day we die.
It’s a beautiful concept.
To commemorate 65 years of
the Twinkie, I’ve taken the liberty
of compiling a list of the little
creme-filled sponge cake’s accom
plishments. A “Great Moments in
Twinkie History,” if you will.
• January 1933: Adolf Hitler
celebrates his ascension to chancel
lor of Germany by ordering the
imprisonment of all his political
enemies — and by eating a
Twinkie.
• November 1944: Mocking
Hitler, Winston Churchill replaces
his trademark cigar with a Twinkie
at the signing of the treaty ending
World War II.
• August 1955: The use and study
of Twinkie ingredients allows NASA
scientists to develop a new rocket
fuel.
• July 1969: Neil Armstrong
becomes the first man to eat a
Twinkie in outer space.
• May 1974: Ford motor
company becomes the first car
maker to experiment with passive
resistance systems, rigging up a
system in which the inside of a
vehicle would be filled with creme
filling upon impact.
• December 1983: Jesse Helms
denounces Twinkies as a “tool of
the devil,” claiming the appearance
of Twinkies causes people to use
pornography and to abandon
traditional values. In spite of this
denunciation, Twinkies’ popularity
stays high, and reports begin to
filter out that Helms himself is an
avid Twinkie eater.
• May 1992: Jeffrey Dahmer
enjoys his last meal before being
arrested. He washes down his usual
entrees with a glass of Yoo Hoo
and, of course, a Twinkie.
• April 1995: Speaker Newt
Gingrich announces that Twinkies
are considered vegetables in the
national school-lunch program.
“Well, hell,” Gingrich said, “it says
right here they’ve got com syrup in
‘em.”
The above items are but a
sampling of the historical impact
the Twinkie has had: They have
made a difference in our lives and
will continue to do so for years to
come.
So it’s only right that we
celebrate this great milestone in
American history with the enthusi
asm it deserves and give our
spongy little friends a big Twinkie
Kid “Yeeeeeee Hah!”
Happy Birthday, Twinkies.
Peters is a graduate student and Daily
Nebraskan columnist
Greeks, nons can close gap
Last week, the annual Greek
Week activities came to be under
the banner or rallying cry of
“Enhance the System.” One of the
coordinators described this as a
way in which all greeks should
look inward to see what life in a
house has done for them and how
they have improved themselves, as
well as what they can do to
improve the surroundings.
That’s a good universal theme
for any foundation or organization
on this campus or in the outside
world. So, using that type of
philosophy, the “Enhance the
System” theme was and is quite
appropriate for the Greek Week
activities.
But there’s one problem with all
of this wishful thinking. And that’s
the fractured respect that the greek
houses give to the non-greeks and
the negative stereotypes laid down
by the nons.
To actually believe that there is
not a gap between the greeks and
the nons is to fool yourself. It’s
there, it exists and it’s a disgrace.
This university, which is working
so hard to promote diversity among
the student body as a whole, should
not have to worry about two of the
largest groups creating false airs
about each other.
It’s not fair to say that either
group is totally at fault, because
each needs to take a long look at
how it deals with the other.
The problem that most non
greeks have is that they think the
greeks have an air of superiority
about them, believing they are
better then the nons.
This situation may sound
ridiculous, but it does have merit.
How many times have there been
parties at houses and only certain
individuals are let in, namely girls,
while most non-greek men are not?
Yet when nons throw parties off
campus, there has yet to be a
ROOD GOff
discriminatory rule against greeks
that I have heard of.
Or how about the times when
you just meet somebody and the
first thing they ask is whether or
not you’re in a house, and if the
answer is no, the conversation
quickly ends? These are common
things that happen to non-greeks,
and they help ftiel the dislike for
the greek system.
But the main argument non
greeks have is the sorry truth that
certain greeks actually have said
they don’t want to hang around
others because they are not in a
house or not in one as good as their
own. This is a truth that can be
heard whether one wants to admit it
or not.
But the pendulum swings the
other way, too. There are many
good things the houses do that are
overlooked by non-greeks. Philan
thropies and volunteer activities are
great things that these houses do
for the community and the univer
sity as a whole. Why aren’t these
things looked at when viewing the
greek system as a whole?
Last week the greek houses, in a
show of unity with the UNL Police,
contributed their time to help out
and raise money for the Special
Olympics. They were hoping to
raise more than $3,000 for this
noble cause, and I may be mis
taken, but I haven’t heard of many
other organizations doing this kind
of charity work.
Or, how many times do you see
young individuals walking our
state’s highways picking up trash
or down at the food bank or city
mission helping others in need?
These are some of the things the
houses do that we don’t usually
hear about a large group of non
greeks taking part in. Why don’t
non-greeks think about these things
when painting their stereotypical
pictures of their schoolmates?
People usually want to belong to
something. Groups help us all
become better citizens. Many
students on campus belong to more
then one group, yet few bring about
the stereotypes heaped on the greek
system. Why is that? Maybe it’s
because many students don’t have
the money to belong to a house,
which is not the members’ fault, or
do not wish to be held accountable
for not taking part in the many
activities the houses promote.
But the greeks should not be
labeled the way they are just
because of money, which is usually
the most-heard reason. The percep
tion that they are the spoiled kids
of rich parents is wrong. Most of
them are feeling the same eco
nomic pinch, if not a greater one.
The non-greeks on this campus
need to take the time to see what
good the houses do and not label
them as being pampered or spoiled.
On the other hand, the greek
system might try to open up and
find ways to stop the flames that
drive these stereotypes.
We need to find common
ground so we can truly end the
stereotypical attitudes that do not
do any good. And so we can
become a university where every
body works together, regardless of
club or greek admission.
Goff Is a senior secondary education and
English major and a Daily Nebraskan colum
nist
FDR’s physical life
not part of legacy
These are times when history
refuses to stay in its place. Every
generation comes to view the
past through its own fresh lens.
Their vision almost inevitably
produces some historic revision
— and, of course, a good deal of
controversy.
We’ve seen such historic
fights over the Vietnam Memo
rial and over the Smithsonian’s
Enoia Gay exhibit. We’ve heard
arguments over movies about
JFK’s assassination or Thomas
Jefferson’s slaveholding.
But now it’s FDR’s turn.
On Wednesday, the country
will mark the 50th anniversary of
the death of Franklin Delano
Roosevelt. At 1:15 p.m. on April
12, 1945, the worn 63-year-old
man who led us through the
Great Depression and World War
II suffered a massive cerebral
hemorrhage at his Warm
Springs, Ga., retreat and died.
Older Americans who knew
him as their president still
remember the smile, the jaunty
angle of his cigarette holder, the
timbre of his voice, the reassur
ing words: “We have nothing to
fear but fear itself.” But few of
those who mourned him that day
knew about the leg braces, the
wheelchair, the struggles of a
man unable to stand without
help.
in an era wnen a cnppie couia
not have been elected to the
presidency, in a time when the
words “strong” and “disabled”
seemed like a contradiction, in a
generation when the press
colluded to protect a president’s
privacy, there was a grand
deception that kept his paralysis
from the public view.
The terrain for the controversy
is the FDR memorial that is
Finally to be built on the Tidal
Basin in Washington. The
memorial is designed as a series
of open-air rooms peopled with
various images of the president.
But there is no brace, no cane, no
wheelchair, no indication of
FDR’s physical condition except
for a small entry carved into the
granite chronology.
To many, especially many in
the handicapped community, that
seems like a second grand
deception, a way to strike his
handicap from the public record.
Michael Deland, a board member
of the National Organization on
Disability, believes that
“Roosevelt’s disability was such
an integral part of the man that it
needs to be shown — and it’s
historically inaccurate not to
show it.”
But others, especially some of
the FDR Memorial Commission,
Ellen Goodman
regard the pressure to portray his
handicap as a kind of post
mortem “outing,” an invasion of
his privacy. Indeed, grandson
David Roosevelt bristles at what
he sees as an attempt to turn
FDR into “a modem-day poster
child, if you will.” The
commission’s executive director,
Dorann Gunderson, adds, “Let
me say emphatically that FDR
would have been very disturbed.”
He went to great lengths to
disguise his handicap from the
public, for political reasons. But
sometimes — touring a veterans’
hospital or speaking at Howard
University — he didn’t hide his
handicap, for political reasons.
To David Roosevelt, “the fact
that he veiled his disability is the
overriding reality.” But there is
another equal reality: FDR did
the job while being disabled. A
man who couldn’t put on his
own shoes led us through the
Depression. A man who couldn’t
walk commanded his country
through a World War.
No one is suggesting a
memorial to The Handicapped
President. Our generation is
learning that people are more
than their handicaps. We’re also
learning not to hide disabilities.
A wheelchair sculpture in one
room of the memorial, a hint of
braces around his shoes in
another — these would not be
insults to his memory, but
artifacts for a visiting and
wondering public.
Maybe Anne Roosevelt, a
grandchild bom after FDR’s
death, says it as succinctly as
possible: “We should portray him
as he was, and, as he was, he
wore braces. As he was, he did
things seated. As he was, he
looked to his sons for support.
This is who he was, and he went
on and lived and gave the nation
a sense of life and vibrancy that
kept all of us going.”
FDR left an extraordinary
legacy. Half a century later,
surely, we can put his history to
rest.
@1995 The Boston Globe Newspaper
Company
THE FIRSriOOCWS Hits
BEEHTO0 BSIORIC M©
.REVOLUTIONARY' T6NK5HT,
ftL LW OUT THE NEXT HX)
DWS ANDBEWO
Mike Luckovteh