R M.MH)\\ ROW I I I
Breaking free of safety net
Sometimes I think they can tell.
“They” meaning everyone, meaning
you probably. “They” meaning
professors and friends and prospec
tive employers.
Sometimes I think that it shows
in everything I do and say. In the
way I walk and dress. Sometimes I
think they smell it. Beneath my
perfume, seeping out from beneath
my well-soaped skin.
Sometimes I think that no matter
how hard I study and smile and
struggle, the poverty is still in me,
rotting in my breath, devouring my
stomach, burning in the back of my
throat.
In my eyes.
And sometimes I think they can
tell.
Because it’s still there. It will
always be there. Keeping me on the
run, making me think that if I sit
still it will catch me again. It will
catch and hold me for good this
time.
That it will turn off the heat and
take away my shoes. That it will
empty my refrigerator and make my
mother cry.
mia so 1 run.
I excel. Not out of pride or
achievement. Out of fear. Fear is
my motivation and drive. My muse.
Because if I make everyone happy
and pass every test, they can’t send
me back. They can’t, they can’t.
But it can. It can catch me, and
it can catch you. Don’t ever think
you’re too smart or too clean. Don’t
ever think that you’re too hard
working.
“I don’t like welfare,” someone
told me yesterday.
I don’t like welfare either. 1 hale
it. But I don’t know where I would
be without it. I hope that I would
/ excel. Not out of pride or achieve
ment. Out of fear. Fear is my moti
vation and drive. My muse. Be
cause if I make everyone happy
and pass every test, they can’t send
me back.
still be here. On the run from
poverty, but not in its clutches.
But I doubt it.
My mother went on welfare
when I was 8. My father left us —
three kids, a pregnant wife — on a
farm in eastern Nebraska.
A farm with no phone. No car.
No heat. No electricity. And a few
weeks before they turned off the
running water. No nearby family to
step in. No benevolent private
sector.
| We needed a safety net.
And I thank God — and this
state and this nation — that there
was one. Being on welfare was
hard. Harder for my mother than
for me. The monthly check was
hardly enough for a family of five,
and our rent was high because she
refused to live in the housing
projects.
But we were warm and safe and
fed. Above all, we were together.
Now I’m at a university in
Lincoln, Neb. For the first time in
my life, I’m not wearing used shoes
and I own more than two pairs of
jeans.
I'm two semesters away from a
degree. I have a decent shot at
being middle-class. After a few
years in the job market, my income
taxes should pay back those welfare
checks, food stamps and public
school lunches.
I’m hearing more and more
about welfare. I hear important men
and women talking about trimming
the fat from the budget. About
setting loose welfare queens and
cheats.
About the government’s role.
About waste. About orphanages.
Welfare, it seems, is dragging our
nation down.
But Aid to Families With
Dependent Children saved my
family. Welfare gave me a chance.
Most people on welfare aren’t
lazy. Aren’t dirty. Most people on
welfare are children, children neck
deep in poverty. Children who
already face more obstacles than
they should.
And I don’t want them to fall. I
want them to have the same
chances I had. The same hope that
maybe someday they’ll crawl out of
poverty. That if they work hard
enough they can get away.
That if they study and smile and
struggle, they will rise above it,
beyond it. And maybe no one will
ever know.
Rowell is a senior news-editorial,
advertising and English major and a Daily
Nebraskan associate news editor.
MIKI: ROVKO
Believe all anonymous sources
Rep. Newt Gingrich created
quite a stir when he said that about
one-fourth of the White House staff
had a history of drug use before
coming to Washington.
He didn’t identify the person
who fed him this statistic, other
than to say that it came from a
“senior law enforcement official.”
But since Gingrich is the
speaker of the House, a former
college professor and the most
powerful Republican in America,
would he pass bum information?
Of course not. If we can’t believe
a Washington politician, who can
we believe? And if he said the info
came from a “senior law enforce
ment official,” it must be true, or
Gingrich wouldn’t have said it.
By coincidence, I happened to be
talking to a senior law enforcement
official the other day.
I can t give you this senior law
enforcement official’s name,
because, as Gingrich can tell you;
we all take blood oaths that we will
never identify senior law enforce
ment officials who give us shocking
information.
If we name even one senior law
enforcement official, the others will
be so upset that none will ever
speak to us again. And that would
mean that the nation would no
longer benefit from their amazing
information.
Anyway, while we were chatting,
this senior law enforcement official
whispered that at least 27.2 percent
of Republican members of Congress
are habitual nose pickers.
“That is a stunning statistic,” I
told him. “Are you really sure?”
“Absolutely,” he said. “The
reason it is not widely known is
that they arc careful never to do it
while the C-Span cameras arc on
them. But as soon as they are out of
camera range, they go at it with
reckless abandon. Believe me, it is
a terribly disgusting sight to see.”
“I can imagine. But they seem
like such refined gents.”
“Hah. That shows how little you
If we name even one senior law
enforcement official, the others will
be so upset that none will ever
speak to us again. And that would
mean that the nation would no
longer benefit from their amazing
information.
know about them. Are you aware
that 28.5 percent of Republican
congressmen have, at one time or
another, told really lewd, filthy
jokes? And another 39.7 percent of
Republican congressmen have
laughed with gusto at these same
foul jokes?”
“Oh, no.”
“Oh, yes. And that 31.3 percent
have been known to get roaring
inebriated before or after they
became members of Congress? And
of that group, 53.4 percent put
lampshades on their heads at
parties and clumsily stomped on the
toes of women with whom they
danced?”
I his is loo much.
“There is more, much more. I
have seen a Top Secret study
showing that 37.5 percent would
eagerly have an illicit sexual
encounter with a beautiful movie
actress if they were sure their wives
wouldn’t find out.”
“How depraved. By the way,
which movie actress?”
“Doesn’t matter; any of them
would do nicely. And 92 percent
wouldn’t even care if the beautiful
movie actress was a liberal.”
“If the nation only knew. The
stock markets might crash.”
“Yes, but get this. According to
our agency’s records, within the
past year, more than 48.7 percent of
all Republican congressmen have
stood sideways and naked in front
of their bathroom mirrors after
taking a shower to see if they are
becoming pot-bellied. Of those,
about 82.7 percent do it every day.”
“That is mind blowing.”
“Then you will be shocked to
know that 43.7 percent have,
during their adult lives, taken the
Lord’s name in vain. Another 21.5
percent have skipped church
because they were suffering from
hangovers.”
“Are your figures reliable?”
“How can you even ask? I’m a
senior law enforcement official?”
“I apologize.”
You should. Furthermore, 98.7
percent of Republican congressmen
have admitted — at secret, behind
closed door inquiries, naturally —
that if they had a choice between
being in Congress or doing honest
work for a living, they would prefer
being in Congress. The other 1.3
percent didn’t respond because
their hearing aids were turned
down or they were sleeping.”
“That is almost enough to shake
my faith.”
“Well, check with me next week.
I will be able to pass along some
thing that will shock you out of
your wits.”
“Is it sordid?”
“I can only tell you this —
Beavis and Butt-head have some
secret fans in Washington.”
“I can’t believe that.”
“Where do you think Newt gets
his material?”
Copyright 1994 Tribune Media Services,
Inc.
NEBRASKA
Women's Basketball
NU vs. BOWLING GREEN
SATURDAY
Dec. 10
7 p.m.
Bob Devaney
Sports Center
Admission
$2 - Individual general admission
Free - Children age 6 and under
Free - Full time UNL student with photo I.D.
For ticket information call 472-3111.
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6:00 - 8:30 pm
December 9-11 & 16-18
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