Curtain’s melt warms Russia
Despite its opening to the West,
too many people still see Russia as
a hostile and backward country.
Although understandable after
decades of Cold War, this contempt
is outdated. Today, this attitude is a
result of either ignorance, in the
best of hypotheses, or simply
slander.
No one denies that the Soviet
Union was an authoritarian regime
in which individual freedoms were
restricted. Some may argue that the
right to speak one’s own beliefs and
profess one’s religion cannot be
replaced by a guaranteed job and
always having enough food on the
table.
However, a famous Latin
philosopher once said, “Primum
vivere, deinde filosofare.” Roughly
translated, it means that if people
have nothing to eat, they don’t give
a damn about democracy. I think
Haitians would agree. But today,
the iron curtain has been melted
and turned into Coke cans. It’s
anachronistic to ridicule Russians
and their lifestyles.
- Recently an interview with an
American student who lived nine
months in St. Petersburg, Russia,
appeared in the Daily Nebraskan.
Very unlucky student, indeed —
sneered at in the metro, beaten by
police and thrown into a damp cell.
I was in St. Petersburg for three
months in 1993. Nobody was
staring at me in the metro; people
were too preoccupied with their
own lives and couldn’t care less
about foreigners.
Flashing dollars on the street is a
no-no, maybe more so in New York
than in St. Petersburg. Overall, I
found St. Petersburg safe for a city
of 5 million. On the other hand, if a
Russian came to Los Angeles,
whom would he have to fear more,
gangs or the police? Tough choice,
isn’t it. So let’s stop stereotyping
Russia; the times of the evil empire
are over.
Russia today is a society in
transition, a color mutation from
There was a joke going around in
Russia: What did capitalism do in
five years that communism couldn’t
do in 70years? Answer: Make com
munism look good.
red to green. This wild race toward
capitalism has left many scars.
There was a joke going around in
Russia: What did capitalism do in
five years that communism couldn’t
do in 70 years? Answer: Make
communism look good.
Many Russians did not receive
the changes well. Among the most
damaged were the older genera
tions. Some worked 40 years, only
to discover that the country for
which they had sacrificed their
lives had gone out of existence. The
pensions, not high but enough to
live on during communism, can buy
as much as two pounds of tomatoes
today. Prices went up a thousand
times under capitalism, but pen
sions didn’t.
Many obstacles stfll face
Russians. The main reason for
problems is the absence of a
legislation on various matters of
private property. The infamous
“privatization” of homes is a
blatant example of a good idea gone
sour. In the communist days, people
were given free housing to inhabit,
not to own.
In 1992, the government allowed
tenants to purchase their homes for
a token sum. This resulted in
people being able to own apart
ments in the center of Moscow for a
few dollars. It was a good idea —
until the Mafia decided it was a
good way to make money. Then it
turned into a nightmare. Stories of
elderly people being held captive in
their homes, forced to sign wills in
favor of the Mafia and then killed,
are the result of a rushed attempt to
cancel the past.
The ironic twist in the whole
process of perestroika is that the
hard-core business people of today
are the same people who headed the
communist party in the past. Boris
Yeltsin, for example, was a power
ful party leader in Sverdlovsk (a
huge region in Russia). The people
who today are advocating capital
ism with the loudest voice made
their way to the top of the commu
nist party by pledging their alle
giance to the red flag.
These are the same people who
took advantage of the confusion
generated by perestroika and their
power positions to gain enormous
wealth. The former vice mayor of
St. Petersburg owns a harbor on the
Gulf of Finland, a shopping center
and several apartments around the
city. He got everything for a few
thousand dollars while he still was
in the city government. And that’s
only one example.
To understand Russia is to let its
charm come through the thick layer
of ice deposited during the Cold
War.
Yeltsin recently visited the
United States to conclude an
economic cooperation agreement.
Some may argue that the main
beneficiary of this accord is Russia,
but in fact, the whole world will
gain from Russia’s stability.
Liverani is a junior advertising major
and a Daily Nebraskan columnist.
Mental? Make the most of it
The new DSM is here! The new
DSM is here!
Remember the movie “The
Jerk,” when Steve Martin ran
around in his underwear waving the
phone book, excited as all get-out
because he was in it?
Well, get happy, people, because
the fourth edition of the Diagnostic
and Statistical Manual of Mental
Disorders —DSM-IV— has been
released, and chances are you’re in
there someplace.
I know I am — probably in
several places.
But let’s start with obsessive
compulsive disorder.
Lately, I’ve been vacuuming — a
lot. (Compulsive.)
Sometimes I think about vacu
uming even when I’m not. (Obses
sive.)
Doctor, I have an excuse.
I’m vacuuming because I have a
dog. The dog has fleas. Fleas are
bloodsucking parasites that lurk in
your carpeting, waiting to attack
someone. (Personally, I have never
cared for bloodsucking deadbeats of
any kind.)
When you have small, hard
shelled insects with sucking mouth
parts living in your home, you have
three choices: wear combat boots at
all times; bomb the place with
stinky, toxic insecticides; or
vacuum a lot.
But to be honest, the vacuuming
is starting to become a problem. It’s
moved beyond being a pastime and
taken on the quality of an addic
tion.
For instance, one night last week
I woke up at 3 a.m. drenched in a
cold sweat because I had forgotten
to suck the lint out of the furnace
vents, and I was certain an army of
fleas were lurking in them.
The next morning, bleary-eyed
from lack of sleep, I attacked a toast
crumb on the carpet because I
This is a free enterprise system. Tm
going to turn my mental deficits
into financial assets. (If the “artist
formerly known as Prince” can do
it, so can I.)
thought it was a fleeing flea. (I
swear it was moving, Doctor.)
I even vacuumed the dog —
twice.
I’m considering buying stock in
Hoover carpet bags, because I’ve
gone through 10 in the past week.
Definitely obsessive-compulsive
disorder — or worse.
It could qualify for a new
category in the next DSM: subtype
of phobia section, debilitating flea
bite fright.
But I refuse to believe it’s
pathological.
Instead, I see it as a gift from
God. (Diagnosis: delusional
disorder, grandiose type.)
We all have neuroses, right?
Little foibles, habits, eccentricities,
quirks, kinks and phobias. Why not
make the best of them?
This is a free enterprise system.
I’m going to turn my mental
deficits into financial assets. (If the
“artist formerly known as Prince”
can do it, so can I.)
First I’ll put out an exercise
video: “Keeping Fit with Your
Kirby,” “Carpet Cleaning Calis
thenics,” or simply, “Vacuuming
with Cindy.”
It will feature 15 minutes of
warm-ups and stretching: cord
unwinding and lint removal. And
then it will move to 30 minutes of
intense fat-burning aerobic activity:
dual vacuum stair sweeping and
shag-carpet cleaning. And finally,
there will be a muscle-building
segment featuring furniture moving
and vacuum-handle lunges.
Next, given my expertise in
mental disorders, I will branch out
into the self-help field.
As an adjunct to Ask-A-Nurse, I
will start a new phone line service,
Dial-A-Therapist. After ringing 1
900-555-DSM4, callers will hear a
prerecorded voice say:
“For more information on
borderline personality disorder,
please press I on your touch-tone
phone. For an update on caffeine
related disorder, press 2 now. For
the inside story on mathematics
disorder, disorder of written
expression or a personality disorder
not otherwise specified, press 3
now. If you are not calling from a
touch-tone phone or if this record
ing is beginning to annoy you,
please hang up, wash your hands
(again) and tune into ‘What About
Bob.’”
Seriously, friends (sign of
narcissistic personality disorder —
term “friends” indicates a grandiose
sense of self-importance), don’t let
a little mental condition ^et in your
way of a full and productive life.
But, let’s talk more later; the
vacuum is calling.
I.ange-Kubick is a senior news-editorial
and sociology major and a Daily Nebraskan
columnist.
LaunDRY Land
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