P \l LA L AVIGNE Execution-mania nothing new Prime time television — 2013. 6:30 p.m. “The Execution er’s Special.” 7:30 p.m. “Cooking with the Exe cutioner.” 8:30 p.m. “Sweatin’ to the Execu tioner’s Song.” 9:30 p.m. “What a Great Way to Die — part II.” It’s been the inescapable topic in the news over the past few years. John Joubert, “Wili” Otcy and possibly, Roger Bjorkland will face having their lifetimes made a little shorter. Yes, welcome to the happy world of (ominous voice) Death Row — where scores of me n and women watc h cable, sleep in comfy beds, cat three square meals a day, and exercise to make sure their useless lives are spent in good health. So, while their lives are being en tertained by the free, tax-paying pub lic, why shouldn’t they be entertain ing us for a change? Ah yes, “W itness to the Execution” rears its ugly bchcadedncss. Move over Simpson’s, Homer’s going to the big house. Why not be able to enjoy a good execution now and then? Think of the excitement as thousands of volts charge through a human body chained to a wooden chair. The person’s head, wrapped in a Hefty bag, wobbles around for a few minutes and drops to the chest. Bodily fluids ooze all over the floor and the smell of charred flesh is so powerful, the executioner keels over. The last remaining jolts go through the prisoner’s body as Tom Brokaw comes on to tell us the fiber concentra tion of the deceased’s last meal. It’s a lot like “Faces of Death,” the popular movie saga of strange and unusual deaths, mutilations, tortures and bizarre mishaps. However, a real execution has a lot less fake blood, strange camera shots and singing psycho-narrators. Aside from the pure entertainment factor, think of how good we’ll all feel seeing justice carried out before our very eyes on CBS, NBC, ABC, Fox, Reverse Discrimination My name is Chad James. 1 am currently a senior at Texas A&M University, and a visiting student here at UNL. I have lived in Nebraska all my life, and have never been confront ed with the situation I was put in a few days ago. I gave an informative speech last week for my public speaking class on homosexuals in the mil itary, the former and current government policy and factors that influenced the new ram promise. This week I had to give a persuasive speech. Because I had done so much research, I chose to do the same topic. However, my instructor required me to defend the opposition to gays in the military, despite my true feelings. I believe gays should be al lowed in the military, and I took this defense in my informative speech. As I was in Selleck Hall, typing my per suasive speech outline, I was ap proached by the lab assistant with an anonymous note from someone who had left the lab. This is what it said: Why not be able to enjoy a good (execution now and then? Think of the excitement as thousands of volts charge through a human body chained to a wooden chair. CNN and MTV. Countless victims across the na tion will huddle in front of their tele vision sets with their popcorn, Coke and animal crackers and chant the words “Death,” “Death,” “Death!!!” But wait, there’s a booming voice out there saying, “Hey this is morbid. This is too horrible. This is the perfect picture of how our society is disinte grating with modem desensitization.” Well, I agree with the first two counts but strike three — you’re out. No, this is not a sign of our soci ety’s decay. We haven’t gotten worse from day one. It’s not the “changing times.” It’s history. Take a trip back to your Western Civ class or your Ancient European Literature lectures and remember the great French Revolution. While Marie Antoinette was eat ing her last cake, people were gather ing outside to make a picnic out of the beheading. This happened every day and they brought their children with them. “Well, my darling, where shall we go on this lovely day?” “I have the perfect idea, my sweet. Let’s lake a picnic lunch on the hill.” “Oh thou est perfect. I hear there’s another king of something being be headed today. If we get there early, we’ll have a perfect view, well within sight of the rolling head.” “Ah yes, and the children would love to see all the pageantry of the moment. Maybe they’ll get to sec his eyes pop out!” “And such abeautiful day. 1 ’ll make the sandwiches.” And so it was. However, that’s far from the only time in history when society was so hurting for a good Monty Python movie that they took to public executions. Toil, toil, bubble and boil, I smell a witch cooking on the soil. From Scot land to Salem, alleged “witches” were barbecued at the stake for all to see. And again, picnics were on the rise. More recently, we have our own cases of morbid fascination — the Revolutionary War and the Civil War —when people unpacked their picnic baskets and blankets and went to watch a good musket fight or a bloody battle on a nearby hill. And I’ll bet people in Singapore love to pack a lunch for a good caning now and then. So we’re not going downhill with our attraction for death, we’re going high-tech. “Live, via satellite, it’s “‘Walkin’ Wili” Otcy Takes His Last Steps’ from the heart of the Heartland, Lincoln. Nebraska!” Although some inmates on death row even want their executions tele vised as a beacon to other would-be r criminals — I’m not sure it’s right. I might watch it for the shock value, but it wouldn’t discourage me from run ning a few too many red lights. Whether it’s right or wrong and whether it will happen or not, we’ve obviously not learned from the past. However, we might have a chance now to learn for the future. “Tune in next week for more ‘hair raising’ episodcsof‘Volts in My Brain ’ at 6 p.m. on CBS.” Paula l4ivigae is a freshman news-editorial major and a Daily Nebraskan columnist. I I I I I I