Matthew woody
Divorce destroys family portrait
Igrew up in your standard middlc
class, white-bread suburban
neighborhood. All of the families
knew one another. Every year on the
Fourth of July, we paraded around the
block to the patriotic, off-key music of
the neighborhood marching band,
making its lone annual appearance.
Even after my family and I moved out
of the neighborhood, we would go
back for these and other events.
My neighborhood was a happy one.
Nearly every house on the block was
occupied by a family — a father, a
mother and a few kids. Nearly un
heard of in this neighborhood (and no,
Fred Rogers didn’t live in it) was
divorce.
Before ninth grade, I only had ex
perienced divorce via television, see
ing perhaps too many episodes of“L. A.
Law.” Then, in ninth grade, one of my
friend’s parents split up. I didn’t real
ly know what to think, but I felt bad for
him.
I guess I’m one of the lucky ones—
that is, one of the people whose par
ents have stayed married. Mine will
celebrate their 30th wedding anniver
sary next year. It seems that this group
of people is getting smaller all the
time.
A good friend of mine in her mid
20s got divorced this past year; her
marriage clocked in at 27 months.
Thank God they didn’t have any kids.
Recently, I found out one of my
teachers from high school gotdivorccd
after more than 20 years of marriage.
Also in the last year, the parents of
anothcr.fricnd split up, but reconciled
before the divorce became final.
In all likelihood, there was no sub
stantive increase in divorces in the
state of Nebraska in 1993 over previ
ous years. Statistics on that probably
aren’t available yet. But I spent a good
amount of time thinking about it last
year, confronting the issue for the first
time in my life.
Divorce, by its very nature, is a bad
thing. At its best, it represents the
For many, the words “until
death do you part*’ or “as long
as you both shall live” might as
well be “until one of you
changes your mind.”
failure of two people to achieve a
happiness they thought they could. At
its worst, divorce is a nasty, drawn-out
battle forcustodyand visitation rights,
etc.
Over the past few decades, divorce
has been on the rise, to the point where
it is now commonplace. 1 wonder why
some people even bother to get mar
ried at all. For many, the words “until
death do you part” or “as long as you
both shall live” m igh l as well be “until
one of you changes your mind.”
Perhaps a contributor to the rise in
divorces was the inception of the “no
fault” divorce. Nebraska adopted a
no-fault divorce law in 1972 and many
other stales have similar statutes. Pri
or to that law, divorces were granted
only if one party could prove that the
other destroyed the marriage by adul
tery, cruelly or any of 11 specific
grounds.
One rcsul t of the no- faul t d i vorce i s
that one person can acquire a divorce
regardless of whether the other agrees
to it or not. Apparently, it takes two to
tango, but cither person can quit danc
ing at any time, even if the other isn’t
finished.
It seems to me that marriage may
be the only legal and binding contract
that people enter into that can be
discarded on a whim. Believe me. I’ve
tried to divorce my credit card compa
ny, but they still insist I repay them. 1
guess marriage must not be as impor
tant as money.
The Bible allows for divorce in
cases of adultery, but certainly doesn’ t
mandate it. I don’t see any reason why
people should get divorced, and defi
nitely not if they have children. In
these cases, divorce doesn’t just break
up husbands and wives, it breaks up
families, and kids are certainly part of
those families.
But all too often, children become
just one more part of divorce proceed
ings. One more issue. Children don’t
have a say in these matters, but are
affected every bit as much as the hus
band and wife are. Usually, children
arc less capable than adults to deal
with a divorce.
Many people have s^id that the
increase in the number of divorces is
a result of the moral decay of Ameri
can society. I say it’s more of a cycle
than a cause and effect.
Certainly, the public has shown
some interest in this topic. After all,
single parenthood, the step-sister of
divorce, was an issue in the 1992
presidential election, as part of a fam
ily values platform. Then-candidate
Clinton scoffed at President Bush’s
support of the nuclear family, wel
coming all lifestyles.
But Clinton has changed his tunc a
bit, now that he’s in the Oval Office,
and even admitted that two-parent
families were, as a rule, better for
children than one-parent families.
A two-parent family. A father and
a mother. No child should be without
cither. But too many arc.
Matthew Woody Is a junior news-editori
al major and a Dally Nebraskan columnist.
III! i us in i ill l.m mu
Guiltless for homeless
Brian Sharp’s opinion (July 4th
more than fireworks, June 30,) pin
points exactly what is wrong with the
liberal train of thought. No matter
what the problem just throw more
money on it.
If Sharp really cared about Doug,
he would truly do some things that
would actually help him.
—Let Doug use Brian’s home as an
address. This would certainly be bet
ter than putting the City Mission as
your address.
—Go to Wal-Mart and buy Doug a
nice inexpensive outfit to wear when
he goes to apply for a job.
—Let him shower and possibly get
him a haircut if needed.
This way he can go to an interview
or HU out an application looking like
a human being instead of something
that the cat dragged in.
It may cost you money out of your
pocket, but think how you will feel
knowing you tally helped someone.
By the way, does Doug have any
responsibility for his situation?Could
he be at fault in any way? Why don’t
you ask him that. Sharp? Oh, no, that
would be totally unthinkable! Just
because I have a home, job and future
don’t you dare try to lay the blame for
Doug’s situation on me. This is one
guilt trip I will not take or tolerate.
Mark D. Mercer
Sophomore, Broadcasting
Nebraskan
Features Editor
Copy Desk Editor
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Cartoonist
Graphics Artist
General Manager
Editor Deborah D. McAdams Production Manager
472-1766 Advertising Manager
Asst Advertising Managers
Publications Board Chairman
Matt Woody
Martha Dunn
Jason Levkultch
James Mehsling
Amy Schmidt
Dan Shattll
Professional Adviser
Katherine Pollcky
Amy Strut hers
Diane Dorn
Tim Hedegaard
436-8810
Don Walton
473-7301
FAX NUMBER 472-1761
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