Classified
Harassment
April Fool*s Day, 1904
Geek Affairs
OH MAH GAWD!!! Congratulations to
Cindy B. for her excellent, totally great
Disney internship this summer! We
love you — we really, really love you.
Wink wink.
Love, your Krappa lovers
Geek system lecture series
This week's lecture is “Geeks, Booze
and the Reason We All Join Frats:
Public service." Next week's lecture is
“T-Shirts: Why they are so vital.”
The men of Why Data Theta would like
to congratulate Blatt Finkman and
Moody Fishel (Cow Omega) on their
engagement.
Beewus,
Uh, huh huh, uh huh congratulations
on getting on that ANUS thing or some
thing. You should tape Loudon's
thingee to the podium. Huh, huh... that
would be cool. Huh, I said “anus."
Butthead
Snoogy-woogy-booger-butt:
Have I ever told you that I wove you?
Well, I do — always. You’re the
gweatest thing that’s ever happened
to me, sweetie-muffin dumpling-cakes.
You’we awesome! I wove you more
than wife itsewf. The pwobwem is, I
wost your phone number when we
weft the motel. Respond via
personaws.
Pooky
Love Monkey,
You’ve invaded my soul with your
haunting presence. Release me, you
etherealvixenl But the pain is so sweet.
Oh, how can one so beautifully wretch
ed enthrall me so?
Kevin Rainmakers
To the blonde in the red shirt at the
football game:
I like your cahoonies. You looked my
way and smiled, but I couldn't tell if it
was because we scored a touchdown,
or if you liked me. Interested? RVP.
Large loud guy chanting “Goooo Biiiiig
Red — GOBIGRED"
Books Bought
M '
NUL Cookstore will buy back text
books. We ll probably pay you about
$2 and then sell your book for $50. So
sue us.
Announcement
Boobie Husker tryouts
Ability to make a complete ass out of
yourself required. ANUS senators
encouraged to apply.
Help Wanted
Humper Basketball team needs a
coach (like one that can win an NCAA
game). Short, loud New Yorkers need
not apply.
Offended People
Have a sense of humor.
DH
Love Is...
em m
...leather.
Calvin and Calvin
by Tom Osbortson
THE PM^GHTY
RuMNlMS
GRENV;s the
SPEED OF L|G*Vr/
"TVie. CROWD GOESy
Ml
FRAZIER
COACH WAHT5
Yoo TO STOP
PLKY1N6?
uoitM THAT
gTDfID t>Oll.
Vovj SHOULD
HAVE. CAUGHT
THE BALL. J
ht
'itNJRF A
Riot
HO&&£S;
Student Government
Students for Loudly
Meet in the Watergate Hotel, Friday at
7:00. Bring all your dirty tricks to get
his bum into office illegally.
^aid for by NUL Collage Publicans
Student Government
Campus Wide Vacancies
/ou don't have to do much. OK, you
don’t have to do anything. But it sure
ooks good on your resume! All you
teed is $5 to give to Loudly’s VICIOUS
)arty.
Personals
ry.
Nice shooting, Tex.
The girl in the car
New Parking
Facilities Available
A new remote
parking facility will
be opening to provide
a plethora of parking
spaces to those stu
dents sick and tired of
searching long and
hard for that crappy
spot so far in the
comer that it might as
i well be in BFE.
So pay a little more
and actually park
there. All you have to
do is call, we'll
reserve you a spot!
Call 555-PARK.
Air Lift Optional
For your viewing pleasure....
New Improved i
Student Seating
Located
conveniently
on top of
Oldfather Hall!!!
Order
NOW.....Spaces
are limited!!!
_